Touched, Depressed, & Loved
* I think my emotions have been on an incredible roller coaster. I'm almost numb from feeling so much
Last week I got two rejection letters from Jobs I had applied for (BUMMER _ that part of my plan is not working out like I planned!!)
This week is the last week of the Summer Program and my last week teaching. I knew it'd be rough to say good bye to my kids, but they are suprising me and I am truly touched!
Anna gave me a scrap o paper which she drew a violin with a cartoon bubble saying "bye". She gave it to me at the end of her last lesson and said "Good Luck with you Retirement" (Giggle - I know I'm OLD - but I didn't think i was THAT OLD!!)
It is really the parents who can really make a person feel totaly incredible. The parent of one of my private students gave me a card with the following message:
Dear Julie,
Thank you so much. Joe has really enjoyed learning from you and he has progressed nicely. He is NOT anxious to get started with a new teacher for he has realized that you are very special.
Good Luck in Minnesota!
We'll miss you nad hope to see you again!
Ryan's mom made me peanut butter cookies to move with (because I'll need something to eat when everything packed!) She even made a point of putting them in a ziplock bag and told if they got squished they'd be good as an ice cream topping!!
Then there's a homeschooled kid who I've only had for the last weeks in Summer Strings. She came to see me at my lunch today and give me a violin pencil -- Her Mom wrote. . . .
Dear Ms. VW
I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your time this month. Reilly has learned a great deal from you; and she enjoys her "South Side Blues" piece.
Enjoy the remains of the summer
Best to you in your future endevors
And from parent with 3 kids in my studio
Julie
The girls are going to relly miss you. They all loved taking lessons from you. You made their learning so much fun We will all miss you and I'm certain the WDMCSD will eel the void as well. Than you so much. Please keep in touch with us.
Between being depressed about being jobless and all the kind sentiments from everyone - I'm feeling very much like maybe this is all a mistake. I KNOW I need to move on -and I truly am ready for a new adventure - but how much of an adventure can one have living in their parents basement?? Diane lived in her parents house for a long time and she is the most adventerous person I know. I wanted to live in the CITY and have a JOB (I really really really really want a job!) I know I can go to school full time and get the degree done faster, but I don't want to do that I WANT A JOB!!!!
And then of course there are the gifts and notes from my studnets. One kid made a beautiful autograph book and had all my current and former students sign it. (That made me cry!) A flower pot filled with goodies (including colored pencils and chocolate!) AND OH SO MUCH chocolate! (good thing, in my emotionally unstable state I need massive does of chocolate!!!) an iowa book mark, flowers, candles, paper, and more. The ribbon and cleff decoration from one gift is haning on my rearview mirror right now - it feels so good to be loved. It feels so good to be appriciated and told I'm good. It feels good just to be.
But it also feels good to have a bit of the un-nown lurking ahead and to FEEL so much. I'm more awake and alive right now than I'd be if I were comtemplating a future of Twinkles in WDM.
I don't know -- We'll see what next week (and the next year) brings.
Look out world here I come (armed with letters, and love and CHOCLATE!!!)
But first I have to pack and clean my bathroom!!!
6/26/02
BACK TO THOUGHTS AND IDEAS
