Title: Past Imperfect 7/?
Author: Ruby
E-mail: ruby_113@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-16
Disclaimer: Joss owns all.
Summary: Spike has had a slight mental adjustment.
Archive: Charity's site, Willow's Men, Fever of Fate,
and all the rest of my usual haunts.
Feedback: Yes, please!
"Where would you like me to start?" Spike asked as he settled Willow more comfortably against him.Back to Fan Fic"Why did you come back here? Why did you leave Drusilla?"
"I'd had enough of waiting my turn while she screwed anything that moved," he answered with no trace of anger. "I decided I wanted you before I ever got back here."
"I thought you were just after that gem," she said.
"I was after two gems," he answered. "The one I lost, and you."
She smiled softly at the gentle compliment, "That night, in the dorm, were you planning on turning me?"
"Originally," he nodded. "Then, after I'd gotten you under me, I decided it might be more fun to have you as a mortal. There's something to be said for a heartbeat and warm flesh."
"So you decided to use me," she concluded sadly.
"No," he shook his head. "I wanted you then the same why I want you now. I never intended to shag you and kill you, or let you go. That's why I forced you to drink from me."
"You knew about the bond?"
"I'm a vampire, luv. Of course I knew. We don't often use it on mortals unless we plan on turning them, but as I said, I'd made up my mind I wanted you as a mortal."
"Then why did you back off after that?" she wondered. "Until I found you in that house, you never made me drink again, did you? And you had plenty of chances since you've been helping us and everything. Did you change your mind about me?"
"Just the opposite. The bond becomes much stronger if the blood is exchanged willingly. The first time, I had to force you. You humans have this odd aversion to drinking blood," he grinned. "But you wanted me--wanted my blood--after that, didn't you?"
"Yes," she answered reluctantly. "I mean, I knew I wanted--something--from you. I didn't remember that you'd made me drink from you. I never told anyone about the way it felt just to be near you. I thought something was wrong with me. I didn't know."
"You were craving my blood. It's the natural reaction to the bond," he explained. "And the longer I waited, the greater your need grew. The fact that I was forced into helping the slayer actually worked in my favor. Being physically near me made your want more intense. I was on my way to your room the night I was taken. I knew by that time, you'd practically beg me to take your blood and to give me yours."
"You're a smug bastard, you know that?" she asked, raising her head to look angrily at him.
He laughed softly and cupped his hand around her cheek, "You think you would have fought me, pet? You didn't fight very hard when we were trapped in that house."
"You weren't yourself. I wanted to help you."
"Piffle," he grinned. "You wanted me. Our bond drew you there, brought our bodies together, and our bond drove you to willing exchange our blood. It was true then, and it's true now. And what's more, we're so deep inside each other now, you don't even care that you no longer have any choice but to give yourself to me."
"Yeah? Well, it sounds to me like that goes both ways, buster," she said coldly.
"Absolutely," he nodded. "I'm in this just as hard and deep as you are, which suits me just fine."
"Why? So you can use it against Buffy? Use me to make her squirm whenever you feel like it?"
"Have you not been listening, ducks?" he raised an eyebrow. "I've told you why. I love you."
"That was before you remembered everything."
"Before--and after. I do love you, Willow," he insisted. "And the thought occurs that you've yet to admit you really feel the same way about me."
"What difference does it make? You wanted me. You got me," she huffed.
"Oh, it makes a difference. You love me. I know it. The reason you're so uncertain about your feelings for your wolf is because you know I mean more to you than he ever could have. You thought he was the love of your life, but he isn't. I am."
"Goddess, you're so damned cocky," she mumbled.
"Am I? Or am I just right? Tell me you love me, Willow."
"Wanting and loving are not the same things."
"I never said they were. You feel both for me, don't you? Say the words."
She pushed herself off his lap and stood up, "It's just this bond. That's all."
"The bond makes you mine," he rose and took her by the arms. "You have to give me your heart. Tell me."
"I don't know how I feel--"
"Liar. I'm not going anywhere, Willow. I'll still be working with the blonde bimbo. Still be watching your gorgeous ass. You want me here, don't you?"
"Yes," she admitted, lowering her eyes.
He raised her chin and stared down at her until she trembled slightly and nibbled on her bottom lip.
"Do you want me to kiss you?" he asked huskily.
"Yes," she pleaded softly.
His mouth took hers, sending sparks shooting from behind her closed eyelids as their tongues met and lingered over one another's.
"Give me your heart," he said and pulled her body flush against his. "Tell me."
"I love you," she whispered as her hands pressed against his back, drawing him closer to her.
He moaned happily and engulfed her small body in his arms.
***
"The car was a rental," Buffy said. "Hired by John Smith."
"Very original," Willow replied.
"I think the rental company was more interested in money than identity," the slayer nodded. "But he was wearing a UC Sunnydale jacket, so he could be a student or a member of the faculty. And I went back to that house and had a look around. I found this."
She picked up a small vial of clear liquid from Giles' coffee table.
"What is it?" Spike asked.
"It's a mind-altering substance," Giles explained. "It suppresses violent tendencies. Given enough injections over an extended period of time, the results are irreversible. It targets the memory first, modifying the more negative elements of past events. They obviously hadn't had time to give you much of it."
"I take it your memory has returned?" Buffy asked the vampire.
"In all its bloody glory," he smirked.
The slayer rolled her eyes. "Good. Then you can stop pawing my best friend."
"Not on your miserable life," he refused, putting his arm around Willow's shoulders. "She belongs to me."
"She's going to belong to a pile of ashes when I'm through with you," Buffy vowed and pulled a stake from her pocket. "Shall we take this outside?"
"Buffy," Giles grabbed the stake from her hand. "You can't do that. Not now."
"Later, then," she shrugged.
"Not ever," he told her.
"Whose side are you on?" she snapped.
"Willow's," he answered. "Their bond--" "Yeah, yeah," she grumbled. "I've heard it before. There won't be any bond once I've dusted him."
"Oh, yes, there will," Spike contradicted her.
She looked from the vampire to the watcher, "What is he talking about?"
"You've been exchanging blood daily, haven't you?" Giles asked Spike.
"Several times a day, as a matter of fact," he nodded, knowing the man would understand the ramifications.
"So what?" Buffy asked.
"If you destroy Spike now, you'll condemn Willow to existing with only half a life. If he dies, he'll take the other half with him. And it won't be a condition she'll get over and move past. She'll languish in misery for the rest of her life. They need each other--literally--now."
"Are you saying she's got to drink his blood for the rest of her life?" Buffy gasped.
"And give him hers," he nodded.
"It isn't so bad, Buffy," Willow tried to soothe the horrified slayer. "It isn't painful. And the most incredible feeling of peace comes over me after I've--well, you know. And I love him."
Spike chuckled when Buffy looked as though she might choke on Willow's declaration.
"No, really," the redhead continued. "My mind, my heart, my soul--everything--just wants to be with him."
"That's the damned bond!" Buffy argued.
"The bond is what started it, but that doesn't even matter to me anymore. I do love him. Please believe me."
"If it makes you feel any better, I love her, too," Spike's eyes glimmered with unconcealed amusement at the slayer's dismay.
"Oh, well, that's just peachy then," she growled.
"And if you're a good little slayer, I may even let you resoul her after I turn her, one day."
"Let me?" she shouted. "Let me?!? Listen, you leather-enshrouded corpse; you're working with us, now--no choice--remember? So, you damn well better believe we're going to resoul her when you--oh, hell, what am I saying?"
Spike laughed out loud and pulled Willow in front of him, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her head, "I think we just got the slayer's version of a blessing, luv."
"I hate you," Buffy hissed.
"I know," he replied gleefully. "Look on the bright side, though. It'll be years before I make Willow my childe. With any luck at all, you'll be dead by then."
"In the meantime," Giles broke in before Buffy could hurl a poisoned retort back at the vampire, "we need to focus on the men who drugged you."
Reluctantly, Buffy tore her eyes away from Spike and looked at the watcher.
"Are they going after vampires in general?" he wondered.
"There hasn't been any shortage of them on patrol," she told him.
"Spike, then, for some reason."
"Maybe they're using one of the labs on campus to mix the drug. I can check to see who's been signing in regularly," Buffy suggested.
"It's a start. Best to stick together, though," Giles nodded as his gaze drifted to the redhead. "It wouldn't do to have them capture Spike again."
Buffy smiled softly as her compassionate eyes met Willow's, "No. I suppose it wouldn't."
