Every so often I stop and pause and actually ask myself:

Why do I do this?
Why do I let anyone see what I write?
Why do I even care if anyone reads this at all?

Maybe it's because it forces me to find the words for so many things I've felt but never said. Maybe I just want to find someone who will agree with me. Maybe I just want to set some things in concrete, for me and for everybody else I know (and don't).

I sometimes sit down, knowing everything but I say nothing.
I sometimes say everything, but it really means nothing.
I sometimes say nothing, because of everything.

It sometimes feels like I'd never know the exact reason why I do this. It sometimes feels like all of this just doesn't sit quite right. I don't know how I can show you all of this, and I'm still not quite sure who's come along for the ride.

Every now and again, I experience these rare moments that make everything I've said, seem completely worthwhile. I'll never forget the times when I smiled (and crossed my fingers) to know that not everyone has given up hope completely.

"It takes me so long to love a person enough to share myself with them, because to open myself to someone is the most powerful gift I can give anyone. You can scream out to the world and share yourself to all who will listen, you have given so much by this."

Yeah, I read this when the night's starting to become the morning and I dropped my "I don't-really-care-what-you-think-of-me-fuck-everyone" attitude just long enough to let a part of me melt.

And then I realized why.

I just want someone to listen, and maybe (just maybe) feel the way I do.