It's proving harder than I thought to just turn around and say:

"Go live your life and I'll go live mine."

There are only a few small reasons why all of this is happening.

Life. Other people. Television. Work. Distance. School. Holidays. The Internet. Time. Either too much, too little or just not enough.

Maybe you were a boyfriend. Maybe you were a best friend. Maybe you where just someone that I knew online. That's not what's important here. Because no matter how we met, or who you were to me, you were someone I shared a piece of myself with, and then let me walk around in your head for a bit in return. The kind of friend that talking to always made me smile. And if I ever wanted someone to tell me what I wanted to hear, you would always say what seemed like the right words. Someone that kept the sky from falling

But it seems there are some things that nobody can stop from crashing down.

It's unfair to place the blame elsewhere for all of this, but isn't that what you do when everything seems to go wrong ?

It seems that, overnight, a friend can just disappear on you. Gone. Without saying anything. Without a word of warning.

"If you don't need me, then I don't need you. I can lead my life without you, and have a nice life, I'm certainly going to !"

But despite what I say, and what I tell myself over and over again, some part of me never wants to really see how things have changed, so much and so fast, so fast, in fact, that nobody ever stopped to think. So much that it seems I barely know a person, that I thought I knew so well.

But this is it. I'm finally going to cut my ties and run. I've said it before, but it's going to happen this time. I'll say "Hi! How are you? The weather's lovely !" in passing, but when life's little crises fill my mind and threaten to crush me with their unimportance, I'll find someone else whom I'll burden with my troubles.

Goodbye. To someone that I thought I'd be friends with forever. To someone that used to almost always be there to pick up the pieces when they fell through my fingers. To the times when the night became late and I listened to your stories and said the things I'd never told anyone before.

So, why am I saying goodbye to someone that means so much to me?

I can't handle being the sometimes friend. I'm so tired of being the after thought, receiving the spare ten seconds of such a busy day. I can't cope being the bottom priority because there are always more important things to do.

I hate being the only one that cares anymore.
I hate the fact I can tell everyone else this, but I can't bring myself to tell the one person who should hear this.
I hate the way that this all ended.

That's what makes this so hard, I don't want to let go of what used to be. I never thought I would have to walk away and say goodbye.

However, they walked away a long time ago. I just didn't want to see it.

But, I still can't forget the friend I used to have.

Goodbye.