Angel was used to having his way with women. He knew that it wasn't just the vampiric charm that lured them. Even before he was turned, females flocked to him. His parents frowned upon it, and told him that he would meet a girl who would change everything. A girl who would make him willingly give up his womanizing ways. A girl who wouldn't submit to his charms-someone he would have to work for. After 240 years, he finally knew whom his parents were talking about.
To have and not to hold
So hot, yet so cold
My heart is in your hand
And yet you never stand
Close enough for me to have my way
Willow was exactly the sort of girl his mother had imagined him settling down with. She emanated every good quality a person could have. She was kind by nature, but could also turn her temper on, and send people scattering away. She was smart, and innocent. She truly believed that there was good in every single person, and was determined to find it in everyone she met, no matter how deeply buried it was. She was, for lack of a better term, his dream girl. And he couldn't have her.
To love but not to keep
To laugh, not to weep
Your eyes, they go right through
And yet you never do
Anything to make me want to stay
From the moment he first laid eyes upon her, he knew that there was something unique about her. He saw Buffy only as a distraction, something to keep his thoughts from inevitably running back to her redheaded friend. He knew that she could not be pursued, only wooed. He only wanted to be tender with her, to shelter her from anything that would allow her to see the evils in the world. But he was too late. Her existence virtually centered around the evil. He watched in amazement as she continued to be untainted by the trials she was put through. She was still as pure as the day he had first met her.
Like a moth to a flame
Only I am to blame
Ba ba da ba ba ba
What can I do?
Ba ba da ba ba ba
I go straight to you
Ba ba da ba ba ba
I've been told
You're to have, not to hold
He wanted her so badly. He would just sit awake and think about what it would be like to touch her. To be with her. To have her whisper his name with unconditional love in her voice. He longed for this. She was the first one to accept him for what he was, and that made him desire her even more. But this also made him realize that he needed to take it slow with her. All these things and many others made her unreachable for him. She was always there for him, but he could never take her the way he wanted to. It wouldn't be right to do that to her. He had broken many young girls hearts in his day. Willow deserved more than that. More than he could give her.
To look but not to see
To kiss but never be
The object of your desire
I'm walking on a wire
And there's no one at all
To break my fall
He knew he was putting himself out on the line. She could reject him. And that, for him, would be a fate worse than a second death. But in his heart, he knew that they were meant to be: kismet even. No matter how strong the urge to confess his feelings, he pushed them away for her sake. It wouldn't be right to complicate her world even more by involving himself. She was too young, and had so much to do before he revealed himself. However, he could be in her life. He could, and he would, because he was willing to wait forever for her. After all, he had all the time in the world.