One Makes the Difference
Topic: Quote
"Our ability to change the world lies in our hands, minds, hearts,
bodies, and spirits ~ committed in action.

It's not only that we can make a difference,
it's that we do make the difference.
The kind of change we make is up to us.
Each and every one of us has the power to heal or to hurt,
to be the hero or the destroyer ~
with every moment, with every breath of every day".

~ Julia Butterfly Hill, from One Makes the Difference

Living with Joy
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: 1 Thing - Amerie
Topic: Quote
Sunday 12:40pm 30Apr06

If every single person spent time only where he accomplished the greatest good for himself and the person he was with, the world would change in a day. It is important to spend time in ways that promote your highest good. If something is not for your highest good, I can guarantee that it is not for the highest good of the planet or others either.
You may ask, what am I here to do that will bring me joy? Each one of you has things that you love to do. There is not one person alive who does not have something he loves to do. Pg.21 Living with Joy - Keys to Personal Power & Spiritual Transformation by Sanaya Roman



Imagine what we would all be like if we were doing things that were for our highest good? What kind of attitude would I have?

When my writing was my number one priority, not too many things could get me down. I can remember when I didn't get involved with petty gossip and didn't care about work politics. Even nasty customers couldn't affect me.

My saying years ago was, "If I'm noticing all the crap that's going on then I've taken my eyes off the goal." That saying really worked for me. I knew where I wanted to be. I'm not really sure where that all went. I guess I lost trust in the process. I started to worry about money. I tried to maintain many friendships and relationships like normal people. I wanted to feel more included. I wanted to be an insider.

I realize that I have always been an outsider, an observer. It's what made me want to write. I've always been the one that hears information of a too personal nature. I knew stuff about the grown ups when I was little that no other child knew. I witnessed inappropriate and traumatic things.
I always thought, "that's an interesting story."
I always wanted to write about it.

When I was 7 and 8 years old, my mother used to tell her guests,"I watch how Shelley reacts to you. If there is ever a person in my house that Shelley doesn't talk to then I just know that person isn't trustworthy. "
I truly was an observer.

Maybe writing is indeed my higher purpose. Maybe I'm not meant to be an insider surrounded by many friends living the overly sociable life. It's not like trying to be an insider ever did anything for me. In my quest to maintain friendships I made my writing secondary. I woke up to find out that their lives kept moving forward and mine kinda stood still. They became "busy" and I became the loser that still called regularly living a rather ordinary existence. What the hell was I thinking?

With my depression diagnosis I had to face that my thoughts put me there and my thoughts would also get me out. I had to make time to focus on what I wanted and come to terms with myself as an outsider. I'll probably always be on the fringes, some one that doesn't totally fit in. I am the product of that little girl that went to a new school every year. Although I have lifelong friends, there is most likely going to be a revolving door of acquaintances. Is that bad? Do I really need to feel like I'm in the center of some great big community that I can turn to? How much of this living have I done by myself anyway?

With the wrong friends comes the influence that makes me want to keep up with the Joneses when that's not even my personality type. I don't want to live in a condo. I've never been interested in owning a house. As long as I have the things that I need, I could care less where I live. Being an insider puts me in line for the lectures on why I should want more of what they have. Why I shouldn't be single. Why I should feel inferior because I'm not pretty enough, rich enough, quiet enough, loved enough and all the judgements that I never paid attention to when I kept my eyes on the goal -- being a writer. Plus my real friends would never make me feel like that.

My higher purpose is my writing. My gift is my writing. It's a gift to people who want to escape. People who want to survive. People who want to be inspired. People who want to learn something about how others live, love and whatever else I want to make it. My writing has to be my priority, my focus, taking me step by step by step to my highest good. It's the only time I've ever truly been happy within my life.

Wayne Dyer calls it living an inspired life. I want to feel good. I want to live an inspired life and dammit I'm going to do that starting today. ha ha

Well my above thoughts are more than a little rambling but a start on the focus of what I want for the EY Page. Writing2live. Living an inspired life. Living my dreams. My mistakes in the process and past failures in my mind. What I've learned and what works for me now. Who says I know anything anyway?