New York is in the house!
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Sunday 7:24pm 17Dec06

Okay I can't get any thing done because I'm watching that God forsaken, Flavor of Love. Didn't he bring New York back from last season? Isn't she more of a whore than she was last year?
"Come down here bitches!" Yikes!
She's talking about how all the women are intimidated by her meanwhile their holding back because they know they could snap her like a twig and would be sent home for that shit.
It's not bad enough that they're there for the ugliest black man in America but then dealing with New York's crap just hurts. Alcoholic chain smoking trash talking delusional biatch!

You know they brought her back for television but boy she hurts my head.

Which brings me to why anyone would truly want to be on a reality show? Why would you do it? Do you really think you can use it as a jumping off point to start a career, honestly?
We're all crazy to some extent if we admit to it or not but then to do that crazy on television. Boy oh boy how do you come back from that? How do you face your family when you've acted like an asshole?

Somebody has to have a reality show character in their writing. The aftermath. Trying to date someone who has watched you be a freak and crying over someone like flavor flav. There has to be something funny to write about that. Follow that person around from the quiet time before the show actually airs through to when the show does air and he or she sees how they've edited the show and of course the after math.

I was interviewed years ago during the protests against show boat. I got flak from some members of the black community because I worked at the theatre that Show boat was going to be performed at. Called an Uncle Tom type nigger from my own people. Shit, I was just working a job and paying my rent. My friend Dillon marveled at how many people recognized me when we were out in public based on the few interviews that I'd done.

Imagine how many people are going to know you after you've been on a reality show and acted the fool?

She's a butta head. Yes, everything cute butt her head! Too funny.

Oh R.Mac why do we do this to ourselves?

EY

Act Your Age, not your shoe size
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
4:43pm Sunday 17Dec06

Had much music on for a hot minute this morning while I got ready to go out to meet my breakfast buddy. I'm sitting there staring at the TV with my head cocked to one side, "is that Prince singing? Why hasn't anyone told me he has a song in Happy Feet? I've got to see it TODAY!"

I saw Happy Feet. What an adorable movie. If there are any stuffed animals of Mumble as a baby, somebody please buy me one!

Talk about the theme of Free Spirit. A penguin that dances in a clan of penguins that sing!. Too freaking cute. The tapping kept making me think about Gregory Hines, whom I loved loved loved! Turns out it was choreographed by Savion Glover who totally deserves the Gregory Hines' title of king of tap.

I remember Savion as a kid in Greg's movie Tap (that nobody went to see) that had all the black old timers of tap and dance like the Nicholas brothers before they all died off. Challenge! Challenge!
Savion looked like he could be Gregory Hines' kid.

When the Happy Feet started off with the penguins singing Kiss I thought I was going to burst a gut with laughter. I kept saying, Oh no they didn't, oh no they didn't. And using Queen's, somebody to love was just priceless. My Ally Macbeal inspired theme song.

I loved the themes: you have to believe in yourself even when you are different from every one in your clan. The outsider is the one to lead. You have to get through all the pain and lack of belief before you reap the rewards.

I was pretty positive that the movie was going to make me cry but I managed to hold it together.

OMG some of the head moves when they were dancing were killing me. Crack me right up.

It really makes you think about what we are doing to the animals that live on this earth with us. It's too ironic because I just watched an episode of men in trees and there was a comment about throwing off the balance of the ecosystem. It falls in line with Happy Feet. It really is time that we all think about what we are doing and how to correct it individually and giving the message to our children as young as possible so that they are mindful and ready to make creative changes.

The scene in the zoo is heart breaking and reminds me of the art show that was in New York that I would have loved to have gone to. It was a photo exhibit whereby the photographer had gone into each animal's habitat and photographed them. There was a comment that animals that we see in the zoo have basically gone crazy. They don't do the normal things that they would do. They are bored, depressed. They've gone crazy. That polar bear that does the repetitive diving into the water and swimming back up to the top, although he looks fascinating, is exhibiting his insanity. If we don't care about creatures that can't tell us that we are hurting them how the hell are we supposed to listen to and care about each other?

That's the first sign of abuse and abusive behaviour. When the Humane society notes animal abuse in a home it's a sure sign that there is domestic abuse. That's just the microcosm of the macrocosm. We're abusing, killing, destroying our wild life and ultimately each other.

What a smart move to cash in on the love of penguins that the march of the penguins brought on and to leave us with a message that we have to care for our earth now. What a fun movie. And the obligatory Robin Williams as both Lovelace and Ramon was too funny.

When Mumble meets up with Ramon and the other Latino penguins and they like his frenetic dance moves it reminded me that somewhere someone appreciates you as you are. I don't know how many big women I've told, "You need to go to the Caribbean, black men love big women."

And that's really it isn't it? Sometimes we're just not appreciated where we live. Sometimes we have to go somewhere else to find the clan that sees our outer beauty.

Oh well, I could go on. I'm glad that my Prince got me out to see the movie that I had a good laugh and felt somewhat inspired. That's all I ask for.

EY

Naturally Sleepy
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Saturday 2:07pm 16Dec06

Slept until almost 12pm. Didn't drink much last night, keeping it to two glasses of wine. I was too happy to climb into bed and conk out.
Moving slow this afternoon. Managed to get my ass out to buy a few groceries. Just need to launder some of my blankets and get down to some writing. See what kind of fun writing exercises I can find and share on my blog. Slow but sure, I'll get organized eventually.

FS has decided on a stay at home weekend. Can barely wait for the free days that Christmas will bring.

Picasso is snoozing on the blankets. Dare I disturb her in the name of laundry? It's gotta be done, sucks to be her. Being soundly harassed by Zelda.

Just ain't got nothing to say.

EY

Did I Say Yes?
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Friday 6:49pm 15Dec06

I don't know why I bother to make plans on Fridays when all I really want to do is come home and veg out after a busy work week. But wanting to be sociable I say Yes before I think. Sigh! So I've got plans tonight.

Had a bath and put some Castor Oil on my feet and am just relaxing before I leave again. Speaking of Castor Oil, I haven't said much about my poor arthritic toes in awhile. People have asked me about them. My daily juices and smoothies have fallen by the wayside for the time being. But I'll be back to them again soon enough. I still take my daily herbal mixes and although I often feel like they don't do much I really notice the pain when I don't take them. After a bad few days I finally pulled out the Castor Oil to give it a whirl. I don't do the proper Castor oil paks cuz I don't have all the stuff but what I have been doing has been relieving my toes tremendously. I put the oil in a double boiler and fill the bottom with water. I put it on the stove until the water boils and heats up the oil. I dunk a paper towel into the warm Castor oil and rub it on my toes.

I've hardly had the constant pain and find that I'm able to walk to and from work at a quicker pace. So it's all good. Plus the oil moisturizes my feet quite nicely, which is always a plus.

My boys at work, never ones to be too helpful when it comes to my will power, have been asking me everyday, "Have you adopted that other kitten yet?" Bastards!
Of course I walked by the vet and she was still there. I almost went in to ask about her but stopped myself. She's roughly the same size as Zelda.
"But four cats Shelley?" I constantly ask myself.
When I said to the boys yesterday, "What's the difference between three cats and four? I still have to change the kitty litter every day."
Talk Show Host said, " the difference is a can of cat food."
Bastards!

The energy of the dinner I had to attend last night was so taut with tension and a level of uncomfortableness that it made me physically ill. I left in the most abrupt of manners, which isn't my norm, and walked home so fast, I scared myself. I took side streets positive that I was going to vomit everything I'd just eaten. It was bizarre. If I was melodramatic enough I'd have kissed my floor when I got in my apartment. Instead, I had the biggest (sorry folks) shit in history and I know it was about my nerves. I used to have that kind of reaction when I suffered with a nervous stomach. Ain't it funny how our bodies will reject tension?

In my EY Page blog awhile back, I wrote up this quote about the hours it takes to master a skill. It takes 1000 hours to become competent; 5000 hours to Master; and 25,000 to 35,000 hours to become World Class. So in keeping with my rant about a month ago about how I was going to do a 10 year writing apprenticeship, I prepared a chart to fill out weekly to complete a thousand hours of writing next year. I did say that I was wiping the slate clean and starting from scratch as if I'd never done any writing. So basically my goal is to write 21 hours a week. I'd like to keep up to 3 hours of writing a day, 7 days a week, but knowing that I have my weekends to either top up the hours or catch up on the days that I miss.

The 3 hours will include my blog entries, work on my novel and other writing (short stories, personal essays, poems, etc). I started to write up some ideas for my comic last week. I still need to work on creating a character drawing. You all know that I'm a crazy quote collector. I collect inspiring quotes from people that I'd like to apply to my life or that give me ideas for my writing and the like. I have one, if you can believe it about Hugh Hefner...
As Hefner reflects on his life and career, he recalls that he first reinvented himself at 16, when he was rejected by a girl he had a crush on. He began referring to himself as Hef instead of Hugh, learned the jitterbug and began drawing a comic book, "a kind of autobiography that put myself center stage in a life I created for myself."

I've always wanted to create a comic book and Hef gave me the idea of what type of comic I want to create for now any way. No matter what you think about Hugh Hefner, didn't he create a fantabulous life? As a woman I think his life is cool. I wouldn't be one of the many women that have slept with him, but I ain't mad at him.
Anyways, I've titled my personal comic book, "Misadventures of the girl trying to reinvent herself." We all know that I do get myself into some misadventures. ha ha! I say personal comic book because I have no plans on sharing it. It's just another creative outlet. Also I can put to use all my books on drawing. Have I mentioned lately that my apartment is over run with books?

My date from Saturday night, sat in my apartment scanning the shelves looking overwhelmed. "I have a lot of stuff huh?"
"Yeah! Books, I'm trying to check out all your books!"
Yeah buddy, so am I!

So my Mastering a Skill chart keeps track of all the hours I will write each day and each week and the bottom half keeps track of how many words I write. It's good for me to know the specifics. Plus I can set realistic goals based on my findings. If I can find another counter that keeps track as I progress (like my handy dandy writertopia picture), I'll add it to my blog. If not, I'll mention it periodically.

I still have an hour before I have to leave. I know I'll most likely have a great time. There's always a story for sure. Speaking of story, I ran into a guy that I used to work with at the Science Centre years ago. One of those super funny guys who is damn witty and totally zany. We caught up as much as you can in ten minutes and got onto the topic of relationships. He called himself an FS. He said it a couple times before he said Free Spirit. Yeah Mark, I'm starting to discover that I too am a Free Spirit. Really I'm rediscovering that fact. I love to be around people and be included but I thrive when I don't have to answer to anyone. Perhaps that will be the theme of the weekend, embracing my Free Spiritedness!

Tonight, I'll stay as long as I can but will say yes to my needs when I feel it's time to go. I have three invitations for tomorrow night that I haven't committed to, I'll decide tomorrow what my free spirit wants me to do.

EY

Digging for Nuggets
Topic: Inspiration
Wednesday 6:13pm 13Dec06

I like to underline phrases in other peoples writing as a jumping off point for my writing. Digging for nuggets is what I call it. I probably got that term from some book but maybe I didn't, who knows?


In Remembered Rapture, bell hooks quotes Rumi, "Do you want the words or will you live what you know?"

Lately my life seems to feel as though it's about choices in an either/or stance. If I ask for this I can't ask for that. I'm not sure where these limitations came from. What I really need to be looking at is having the best of both worlds. I am a mingler by nature. I like to be around different people not focusing in on one type or group of people too tough. Even my taste in men doesn't fall under a cookie cutter type. I need to guide my life into the variety. A buffet or smorgasbord of all the things I love.

bell hooks response is that she writes to live.

I want a party and discipline. I want the man and the silence. I want the words and I want to live what I know. Instead of just wanting it all, I want to have as much of all as I can get.

EY