From: "Lizzy" in collaboration with "Shannon" 
Date: November 1999
Tittle: Heaven's Hell 
Feedback: bebemoulinrouge@mtv.com / thexfish@aol.com
Rating: R
Spoilers: None
Keywords: MSR angst
Summary: When someone that loved is gone, that's when you suddenly 
realize you took them for granted.
Author's Notes: This story...this story has the same main idea as any 
other typical MSR: Mulder and Scully discover that they love each 
other, they get married, and have a kid. Voila everything is roses. But 
I think that the way this story is set up and its final situation is 
something no one expected. When my best friend read this (which 
she has all of my stories in a file) she was like "Whoa…." I like it a lot! 
I really do and I know it's just another MSR, it's got a different ending, 
like I said before, that no one expected. I'd like to thank my good cyber 
buddy Shannon for sparking this idea into my head when I was going
through a huge crisis of writers block and all of my readers! Love you lots!
Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully belong to CC, 1013 and Twentieth Century 
Fox...Audrey belongs to me :)


Mulder's Apartment, 11:25 p.m.:
(Scully's POV) 

I turned on my stomach for the second time that night. It 
had been like this every other night since 6 months ago when we 
broke loose. I'm happy as ever right now and not to mention 
exhausted. Mulder was breathing deeply, I could tell he broke a 
sweat. I felt him move and his hands started caressing my back, 
trying to relive the aching. I close my eyes, and just licked my lips, 
savoring his taste...or what was left of it. He continued the 
post-pleasure session until I moved away from his hands and got 
up to stretch as I felt him dully place his hands on the sheets. He 
was moaning until I heard his voice, 
	"Hmmm...where are you going? I'm not finished with you yet." 
He said, I just kept walking and chuckled. 
	"Shower." I said, shortening a 10-word sentence into a simple 
phrase. I reached for my robe, went in and closed the door, leaving it 
unlocked. I placed the robe by the sink ad stepped into the shower. 
	Turning on the water, first the hot then the cold, I heard a slight 
sound in the background so I naturally became startled. Until I saw him 
in the light's shadow. I smiled, like I always do when he behaves like this.
 "Mulder…" I said as he made his way past the shower curtain 
and into the bathtub. He took me in his arms as the warm water wet his hair. 
I knew the smile was inevitable on my face and so I let it be. 
	"I told you I wasn't done with you yet, Scully." He told me 
playfully. I placed by arms around his neck and we just stood there...
like if there were no worries in the world...like if everyday was 
sprinkled with fairy dust like in a storybook tale. That's what most of 
our time feels like, and personally, I never want it to end.


FBI Headquarters, 8:05 a.m.:
(Mulder's POV)

	Oh yeah, another day and the best at that. My first Valentines 
Day with someone to hold and someone to kiss. And who would have 
thought that person would end up being Scully. I felt the smile spread 
ear-to-ear across my face as I stepped into the FBI Building. I made 
sure nobody noticed since everyone is so "professional" around here. I 
signed into the front desk, "Fox Mulder," I wrote then looked at my 
watch, "8:06 a.m.". Perfect. Scully should be here by now. I walked 
into the nearest elevator, luckily it was empty, and rode down to the 
basement. I turned in the doorway of our office and wasn't too happy. 
Scully wasn't here. Where was she? I tried not to think the worst. 
Could she have had an accident? An assault? No, no...Scully was okay, 
she was fine. On the other hand, they were always at risk. After all, 
we did work for the Goddamned FBI. I dropped my coat and my files and 
picked up the phone as fast as I could. I pressed the speed dial number
2, her home phone since number 1 was her cell phone. Ring. I was 
getting more and more impatient. Ring. Where could she be? Ring. She 
wouldn't go out of the city without telling me. Ring. Hell, she wouldn't 
go anywhere without me. She would have picked up by now. I hung up with 
my finger and lifted it again to dial her cell number. A few rings and 
the disk from the company came up. Her cell phone was off. Why would 
she do something like that? A million and one things were running 
through my mind right now, and I wasn't going to risk Scully for not 
running by my instincts. I ran out the door. 


Scully's Apartment, 8:47 a.m.:
(Mulder's POV)
	
	I was half way to Scully's apartment and every second that came 
closer and closer, more and more ideas came into my head. I freaked out 
when I parked my car in front of her apartment complex and her car wasn't 
there. Maybe she was just late to work…in traffic of some sort. I 
hesitated trying to stick that idea into my head, but as a believer 
that I've always been, I couldn't leave without knowing more. I conform 
my mind to think that she was just stuck in traffic. I entered the 
complex and I took the elevator up to her apartment. Door #5.I knocked.
No answer. I knocked again. No answer. That's it, I can't have this 
agony killing me anymore. I put my copy of Scully's key into the gold 
covered doorknob and opened the door. I couldn't avoid gasping at the 
view. Not even seeing Scully with another man would be as horrifying as 
what was happening to me right now. The first thing I realized was that 
there was more space in Scully's apartment then I thought. Then I 
realized that she was gone. The place was empty. Only with a few chairs 
but all her furniture, her frames, her pictures, curtains, you name it. 
It was gone. I walked all around the house remembering us and 
remembering her. Why did she leave? Damn it! Why?! I was in a rage of 
fury mixed with impotency. I went back to the living room after sitting on the 
floor of our room and shedding the necessary tears. I still couldn't 
figure out why she left. We...we were so happy together. What snapped 
me out of my reverie was the paper on the table she left behind. I 
picked it up faster than you can say anything and opened it up, 
searching for an explanation for her abandoning. The paper read in her 
handwriting: 

	Dear Mulder, 

		I know that right now you must be upset with yourself 
and me. I just wanted to write this note to tell you to not worry about 
me. I felt that things were moving to fast for me and I need time to 
think. Don't try going to my mother's house. I'm not there. I don't 
know when I'll be back if I even do come back. Just don't look for me, 
Mulder. I'll be back when I'm ready. Thank you for everything. I love you.

Sincerely, 

					Dana

	
	It hit me like a thousand, no-a million knifes stabbing me in 
the back all at once. But I decided to do, as she wanted. I didn't 
understand what she meant by "moving to fast". She suprisingly was the 
one who always made our advances. I re-folded the sheet of paper, my 
only memory of her for God knows how long, and placed it in my pocket. 
I felt a river of emotions flowing through my veins. Anger, pain, 
distress, anything but happiness. How was I supposed to feel? She had 
put a dart in my dreams, in my aspirations, in my heart, and she also 
knew I wasn't taking this well. I'm left with the emptiness and the 
void of a lover mixed with the hopes of the outcome of my work. That 
all I had up until she gradually started filling it over the years. 
And know I'm back where I started again. Nothing. I walked out the door, 
not shedding one more tear.


Motel 6, 8:35 p.m.:
(Scully's POV)

	By now, Mulder probably discovered that I'm gone and found my 
letter. He must hate me. But...I couldn't stand around and just tell 
him what was wrong. I don't think he needs anything like my problems 
right now and I don't want him to feel responsible for what's happened. 
My heart was literally shattered on the floor as I was writing the 
good-bye letter. But I am going to have to come back. I will have to 
pick up the pieces of my heart and regain my courage to go back and 
face Mulder. I'm definitely prepared to take whatever response he wants 
to give me. I tried to undertake my thoughts by turning on the 
television. I started watching some oldies show and trailed off...


The Next Morning, 9:46 a.m.:
(Mulder's POV)

	After I got out of that place, I went to my house with no 
intent to go back to work. Maybe for days. Still asking myself on the 
way why Scully did what she did. Is it maybe because...? No, Scully 
would tell me if that was it. She knows I would be as overlywhelmed as 
her to know that... She said she'd come back, but what if she doesn't. 
No, she ha to come back, sooner or later. I sighed as I stopped at a 
red light. I wondered what she would be doing now. Would she be in the 
city? Probably not. Scully knew that if she had to run, she would do it 
somewhere out of Washington D.C. I tuned at the corner when the light 
gave me permission and parked my car in front of my apartment building. 
I took out my key and went in...


A few days later, Motel 6, 5:46 p.m.:
(Scully's POV)

	Up the elevator went as I returned to my motel room. I went 
around for a walk and some snacks at a local vendor just around the 
corner. She was a nice old lady, about 65 years old. I told her what 
was wrong and she gave me useful advice. She told me to go back and 
tell him, and that if he doesn't accept it, then he really didn't love 
me. I feel that Mulder does love me even if these type of problems come. 
I'm still confused inside and don't know how to let him know. Bu on the 
other hand, I'm not telling him that I'm dying. I think that lady did 
me some good. Now I understand why they say "respect you're elders". 
The elevator doors opened to let me through. I walked down the corridor 
like if I were walking to my death chair. I knew that when I arrived, 
that would be a disappointment or a continuation of a perfect life next 
to Mulder. I fitted the key right into the keyhole and opened up the 
door, trying to just focus. Focusing on that Mulder's answer will be 
yes. That he won't feel mad or frustrated or guilty. I took off my 
jacket and threw it on the bed. I walked over to the phone with one of 
the biggest fears hovering over me. My life was depending on his answer 
because I knew that I couldn't, no-I wouldn't go on with out him. I 
picked up the receive and heard dial tone. I dialed his cell number...
It rings. It rings again. And again. There's no answer. I hung up hard 
and took another deep breath, the first one of millions. Me and my 
pathetic self. Why was this so hard? I was just calling him! Damn it. 
I hate my self for being so excessively nervous. I closed my eyes and 
put my head in my hands and...God, I just feel so bad. My head is 
spinning and I can't. I can't. My eyes welled up in tears knowing that 
I was going to back out when I finally gained my courage. Forget it. 


Mulder's Apartment Building, 8:07 p.m.:
(Mulder's POV)

	The drive home through traffic wasn't very pleasant. There's a 
severe thunderstorm and the roads are as clamed as hell. I stayed 
behind reviewing the case file and finishing my report, due to Skinner 
tomorrow, since I had no one to come home to. Scully had been gone for 
almost a week now and I am sincerely losing faith in the promise she 
made about returning. I've had time to scramble the thoughts over and 
over in my head in the middle of the night while I couldn't sleep. As 
I turned the corner on the slippery street, I could see the front of my 
building. Faintly, I could also see a person soaking wet, sitting on 
the steps. I imagined it would be a neighbor who forgot his key in his 
apartment, but as I drove closer and closer, I could distinctively make 
out the features of a woman with medium length hair. She was wearing a 
coat and...no...could it remotely be...? I felt my foot become looser 
on the gas pedal on saw the needle on the speedometer drop to five 
miles per hour. As I parked my car, I realized who it was. Even if my 
eyes were skeptical, my heart was a believer. She stood off the steps 
and came closer, playing with her nails from how nervous she was.  I 
turned the car off and stepped out, where pretty soon, we were standing 
face to face. Only the barrier of silence stood between us. She only 
looked down, ashamed. "Dana..." I said reaching for her chin. I lifted
it so our eyes can share the same air space. She moved her head to the 
side and the expression dulled even more. She closed her eyes in pain 
and I pulled her into an embrace that she returned with the sweet 
intensity that I saw seconds before in her eyes. 


Mulder's Apartment Building, 8:09 p.m.:
(Scully's POV) 

	I felt so safe in his arms, so...protected. I know he loves me 
as much as I do him. The warmth of his skin trespassed his coat and 
mine and I felt that fire between our skins again. I interrupted the 
embrace and he looked at me. 
	"I knew you still loved me. I knew you would keep your promise 
about returning although deep down inside, I...I was losing faith...
hope...you." He told me. Besides the rain, tears were stroking down my 
face. When he told me things like that, it broke my heart. Damn, I 
didn't have the forces to look him straight in the eyes and tell him 
the truth, but I know I'll have to. He looked at me intensively like if 
he were reading me. 
	"Scully...what's wrong. There's something you're not telling me." 
He finally said. For the first time after a week I had to talk to him. 
	"Mulder, it's the reason why I did what I did. I'm scared." 
	"Scared of what?" 
	"Of what might happen to us because of my problem." I said. He 
looked at me with a face I never saw before. 
	"What problem, Scully. Stop running around the garden. 
Tell me." He replied. I looked down at floor again for the millionth 
time tonight, but then I rose my head high to meet him. 
	"Mulder...I'm pregnant." That's it. It's all over. My life, as 
I know it, has ended. Until I looked up at him and saw the ear-to-ear 
smile on his face. 
	"Scully..." he started. I thought he was just being 
sarcastic at first, "Do you know what this means?"  He asked, 
apparently happy. I didn't respond. "This means...there's a little baby
growing in there?" he questioned in awe. I rejoiced at once from 
hearing he had taken it well. So rejoiced, the tears were streaming 
down, and down. 
	"Yep. Our baby." I said with pride. Our baby. This wasn't what 
I figured it would turn out to be. He was happy, we were both happy. 
	"I'm going to be...a daddy?" I nodded to response. "No way, 
Scully, you're playing..." 
	"Nope," I said pointing my finger, "You're going to be a daddy 
and I'm going to be a mommy. We're gonna be parents." He smiled that 
smile that makes me melt, and I smiled back. With that, he lifted me 
and swung me in the rain, both of us soaking wet. 
	"Mulder!" I kept laughing and he kept spinning me until he 
obeyed my pleads and put my feet flat on ground. He suddenly made a 
face, like if realizing we were in the middle of his apartment building 
yard and we were screaming for joy. 
	"Scully, what are we doing out here! You can't get wet! Let's 
go inside!" he said. 
	"Mulder, take it easy. It's not like it's due tomorrow!" I said 
laughing at his over-protectiveness. He swifted me up by my knees and I 
fell into his arms, and he carried me over the threshold. 


Mulder's Apartment, 8:15 p.m.:
(Mulder's POV)

	I took her inside, never letting the smile wipe away from my 
face. I kept spinning the thought in my head: "I'm going to be a father, 
I'm going to be a father...". Scully walked on her own after having me 
insist on helping her. 
	"Mulder, come on, I'm fine!" She said to me with a few giggles 
in between. 
	"Scully, I want you to have the most peaceful nine months of 
your life, and I can't do that if your acting like this." I told her. 
I couldn't stand being so neglectant. She suddenly turned around and I 
landed right in her face. She grabbed my cheeks with her fingers and 
pinched them playfully. 
	"Listen, I love you very very much, but if you keep annoying me 
like this, I'm going to run away again." I straighten out the moment 
she said that. "Besides, with the FBI, there's no such thing as a 
peaceful life." She added. I laughed as I put the key into the lock and 
opened to let her through. I heard a slight "thank-you" from her as she 
walked past me. I closed the door behind us ran silently to wrap my 
arms around her. Placing my head on her shoulder, I kissed her wet neck 
and she wrapped her arm around my neck. "So..." she spoke when she got 
a chance. 
	"What did you do for a week?" I kept kissing her, ignoring her 
every word, until I finally parted my lips from her skin. 
	"Be in a deep, deep depression that only one woman can take be 
out of." 
	"Oh yeah? Who is she?" she said looking at me, slightly out of 
the corner of her eye. I decided to play with her mind a little. 
	"Oh, she's tall, blond, with brown eyes. Really fine." I smiled 
playfully at her. She smiled back. 
	"Well, would it be good for you to know that I spent the week 
with a handsome, brown eyed, man who is incredible in bed." I gave her 
a face, knowing she was only joking...or so I thought. 
	"Really?" I replied. I slowly walked over to her and picked her 
up. 
	"Yessss..." she said in a sort of baby voice, dumb but somehow 
so adorable to me. We kept exchanging phrases back and forth. 
	"Really?" 
	"Yessss..." 
	"Alright then. There's one thing to do as punishment, Mrs. 
Scully." She smiled a wicked smile. Like knowing something. Tilting her 
head to one side she said: 
	"And what is that Mr. Mulder?" I kissed her deeply and she 
followed, not placing any objections. 


Mulder's Apartment, 9:45 a.m.:
(Scully's POV)

	I inhaled satisfactorily for the first time in what seemed like 
an eternity. The hot sunrays peered through the window, and the shadow 
of the masking tape X was set on the floor. Mulder arms were wrapped 
around me like bundle of wool sheets my dad used to take on camping 
trips when I was a kid. The warmth of his body fell so good against 
mine. We apparently fell asleep on the sofa with all of our wet clothes 
on. I was facing his chest and his arms were around me. I just closed 
my eyes and enjoyed this moment. I knew that it was possible once in a 
lifetime. Mulder and I decided that things would be slightly different 
while my pregnancy. All I remember is that we spent half of the night 
discussing about the baby and about what we were going to name it if it 
was a girl or a boy. Then we spent the other debating when we would 
tell Skinner and when I would take my maternity leave. I didn't want to, 
but Mulder insisted on taking it on the fifth month. I said no and we 
kept fighting until we agreed that on the 7th month I'd take it. I 
hate it when he acts annoying like that, but I understand that it's 
what my mom calls "father's stages". She says that my father was 
obnoxious in the first months, when my mother was pregnant with 
Melissa, but after that he became used to it. I fitted my arm out of 
the small frame of space there was between us and played with is hair, 
brushing it back with my fingers. I looked at him...for a long time. 
God, thank you. Thank you for giving me happiness. After my father 
died, I thought I wouldn't be able to go on. And when Missy went away, 
oh God, when she died... My eyes were creating tears just thinking 
about all that's happened. I remember the first time I walked into his 
office. Posters and newspaper cutouts of aliens and alien abductions 
and abductees. He told me that no one was allowed down there but the 
FBI's most wanted. I smiled and extended my hand to him. Or when my 
cancer arose again...I felt him next to me, I felt his energy and the 
way he surrendered to one and all when he shed tears on my hand. The 
tear escaped the corner of my eye and I sniffed to keep the running in 
my nose escape too. At the sound, Mulder shifted in his position, but I 
didn't realize I woke him until I heard him speak. 
	"Scully? Scully, what's wrong? Are you okay? What happened?" 
He said alarmed at my appearance. He wiped the tears away from my eyes. 
	"Nothing." 
	"They why are you crying?" he asked me while caressing my face. 
I stayed silent and just looked at him and smiled my best smile. 
	"Because I have you." I replied. He smiled at me and effectively 
brang me closer and placed a soft sweet kiss on my forehead. 
	"You don't know how much I love you Mulder." I said. He looked 
at me after our embrace and said: 
	"Yes I do." I laughed and he hugged me again. Wait-I can't 
believe I forgot! 
	"Mulder, " said sitting up. "Mulder, I haven't called my mom to 
tell her the good news!" I stood up immediately as he just sat there 
and watched as I went wild looking for a phone. 
	"Your coat..." he teased. I smiled a sarcastic smile as I 
reached for it. I dialed the numbers and put it close to my ear. It 
rang plenty of times and I worried, until I heard the groggily like 
voice on the other end of the phone. 
	"Hello?" she said. "Mom...hi. It's Dana." I said, starting the 
conversation...


Mulder's Apartment, 9:55 a.m.: 
(Narrator's POV)

	"Hi Dana, where have you been? I tried reaching you last night 
to tell you that Bill is flying down for a few days, but you weren't 
home. Where are you?" question Margaret. The news of her brother 
visiting them made Dana even happier, she would be able to tell him in 
person about the good news. 
	"Bill's coming down? That's great." She said "Look Mom, that's 
not exactly why I called you. Don't worry, Mulder is here." She assured. 
	"Why did you call me then?" Dana stood quiet and unspoken for a 
moment, unsure of what to say. 
	"Mom, I have something to tell you. I don't know if you'll be 
as happy as I am, but I might as well tell you anyway." 
	"What is it?" she asked again, growing impatient for the news 
from her daughter. Dana glanced over at Mulder, who was listening from 
the cordless phone in the bedroom. He nodded for her to go on, as in 
contentment. She sighed and faced her original direction once again. 
	"Mom, I'm pregnant." Maggie Scully stood in silence, letting 
the words sink in, until she finally spoke. 
	"Dana...I am extremely happy for you...but," she said "You know 
that God's word-" continued Maggie until Dana finally stopped her, not 
ready to listen to a sermon. 
	"Mom, I know and I'm sorry about the way I've done things but," 
she stayed in silence. 
	"I know, Dana, and all I have to say is congratulations, dear." 
Margaret spoke in rejoice. 
	"So who's the father?" Dana's words came out as fast as ever, 
not needing to deny that. She brang a smile to her mother's face by 
declaring it was Mulder's baby. 
	"I'm sure Fox will make a good father." Dana glanced back at 
Mulder who was naturally blushing, trying to hide the affection of the 
compliment.


FBI Office, 6 months later, 11:15 p.m.: 
(Scully's POV)  

	Stupid paper work. It's to never end. And that's all I've been 
doing since I told Skinner about my condition. He made me sit down in 
an office, no investigations, no fieldwork, nothing. And with Mulder 
out on a two week investigation trip, I feel lonelier than ever and I 
miss him like never before. He's supposed to be back today. He made me 
swear that I would take my maternity leave when he was gone, but I 
just couldn't. In the last few months, I've lost count of how many 
times I've had seizures and nauses. I could have lived without those 
perfectly fine but my doctor says it's more than normal. I heard 
footsteps down the basement hall but I guessed it was just Lolita, the 
cafeteria server, coming to check up on me and bring me some soda 
crackers, until I heard him down the hall. 
	"Scully! What are you doing here, you told me you would take 
you're leave of absence while I was out!" said the man, obviously 
Mulder, when he saw the office lights on. He came into full view at 
the doorway of the X-Files office and I, like a perfect angel, smiled 
at him sweetly. 
	"Whoa! You looked like you swallowed a bowling ball!" he 
greeted. He can be so sweet sometimes, I just feel like hitting him. 
	"Well, it's nice to see you too." I said sweetly. 
	"I didn't know you could grow so big in two weeks," he 
continued. "Why aren't you home?" 
	"I didn't feel like staying home, Mulder. It's too lonely, I 
have nothing to do." I replied in an I'm-an-innocent-girl tone of 
voice. I kept shuffling papers in my hand without looking up. I felt 
him come around the table and put his arms around me, placing his 
hands on my overgrown belly. He kissed me on the cheek and nibbled 
with my ear. And then he whispered, 
	"I'm just gonna have to lock you up and eat the key, huh?" I 
decided to play a little bit with him. 
	"Yep." 
	"Jesus Scully, we agreed that you'd take your leave on the 
seventh month. Now..." he rattled on and on about my health and the 
baby's health. I really felt fine and I told him that, but as the man 
that he is, he just keeps ratting on and on. 
	"Scully," he said, finally giving up. I smiled. "Come on, let's 
go home." 
	"So you can lock me up?" 
	"Uh-huh." he joked as-a-matter-of-factly. Sighing, I stood up 
and walked out the door with his hand on the small of my back. 
	"Wait." I returned for a file atop of Mulder's desk, the one I 
inhabited for two weeks by myself, and walked out the door. This time 
I didn't look back.


Scully's Apartment, 2 months later, 1:45 p.m.:
(Scully's POV)
	
	"I'm fine, go to the meeting." I said into the phone. Mulder, 
always Mulder, calling before a hearing to make sure I don't need 
anything. "Yeah. No, I won't call you I'm fine." I repeated. I was 
beginning to become numb to the excessive attention I received from 
him. So numb that I didn't even take him seriously anymore. 
	"Call me if anything, ok?" He told me each and everyday. I said 
"fine" and just let him go so he wouldn't bother me much longer. 
	"I love you," he said to me, and I responded with the same. I 
hung up the phone and stretched my legs out on the sofa feeling tired. 
I tried to close my eyes when I felt a cramp in my stomach. Then I felt 
it again. Oh God, it can't be...yet. Mulder has to be here with me not 
in another lecture with Kersh. I felt it once more before I decided to 
pick up the phone. I dialed the number to Mulder's cell phone in hopes 
that I wouldn't interrupt. It rang. Geez, the pain was pressuring against 
me again. Ring. Damn it. Ring. Mulder finally picked up the phone stating 
his last name. 
	"Mulder..." I said to him. He panicked and asked me, 
	"What's wrong? Are you okay?" 
	"Mulder, I'm having," the pain struck me again. 
"I'm having contractions." I said and I heard him gasp almost inaudibly 
over the phone. An inevitable silence fell over the room until he spoke 
between my deep breaths. 
	"Hang on, Scully. I'll be right there." he hung up the phone in 
a breeze and I felt I was breathing heavy, until my vision turned blurry 
and the view I had of my ceiling went black.


Georgetown Memorial Hospital, 2:26 p.m.: 
(Mulder's POV) 

	I was racing the car as fast as possible but my mind was racing 
at it's own accord. Scully was sitting next to me, trying with all her 
heart to hold in the pain that was emerging from her contractions. She's 
always been the strong one. God knows how much pain she's going through. 
Slamming the brakes in front of the ER, I stumbled out, barley on my feet, 
and carried her in at the speed my feet could manage. Before I could 
get to the counter and plead for help, Dr. Willis, her ob/gyn, turned 
the corner and got a good, clear view of her expecting patient in labor. 
	"Dana," she said in a very calm manner, obviously she'd gone 
through this more than once. "Hang in there, I'm gonna get you a wheel 
chair." She ran off and I took her place by kneeling next to my wife. 
She had a terrified look on her face. 
	"Honey, what's wrong?" concerned I asked. She flashed me a look 
that in the years I've never seen. "Scully?" I asked again. 
	"Mulder..." she whispered under her breath. "The...the baby's 
early." 
	"What? Wh-what do mean early?" 
	"Yeah...it...it's still a month before it's supposed...supposed 
to be born." she tried to explain. I was still frozen. 
	"And?" I spoke up, waiting and pleading for a positive answer. 
	"And... There-there may be complications." she breathed in 
after finishing the sentence that brought terror to my face. At that 
moment, a hospital candy stripper turned the corner with the wheel 
chair. She looked like a sweet young teenager, incapable of hunting a 
soul. Meanwhile, I tried to build myself with assurance that everything 
was going to be okay, although some part of me doubted what I tried to 
convince myself of.  
	"You're going to me okay," I tried to make her understand. "Both 
of you." She flashed me a look that told me she didn't buy my cheap 
street acting. She kissed me as the ushers helped her into the wheel 
chair. 
	"Stay here Mr. Mulder. When I have anything, I'll let you know." 
said doctor Willis. "Everything will be fine." The candy stripper took 
her in the wheelchair beside the hesitant doctor. They turned the 
hallway and I saw Scully's eyes one last time telling me to hang on to 
the strength I had left. 


Georgetown Memorial Hospital, 2:30 p.m.:
(Scully's POV) 

	As they drove me through the halls of the emergency room, I 
felt the pain again and again without dismissal. The sweat was
beginning to run down my temples as I gripped tighter to the arm rests 
on the wheel chair. I hated myself for not telling Dr. Willis to please 
let Mulder come with me. I knew he was as nervous as I was, maybe even 
more. I can just imagine him pacing the lobby over and over, back and 
forth like a relentless maniac. Owww! God, help me. The ushers opened 
the doors to the C section room wheeling me in next to the hospital 
table which would be my torture for the next God knows how many hours. 
Placing an IV automatically on my wrist, they soon elevated me to the 
table. I shuddered ever so slightly at the coldness of the metal as the 
medicine in the IV helped my body soothe away, to not feel the pain...


Georgetown Memorial Hospital, 6:30 p.m.:
(Scully's POV)

	The overbed light of the hospital room was the first thing I 
perceived when I woke up. It hurt my eyes as it shown above me. I 
relinquished the thought and concentrated on myself. Sighing, I felt 
my body slacken in the hospital bed. I scanned the small room in 
search of Mulder, but he was nowhere in sight. Unexpectedly, the door 
opened on my right and when the person was in full view, it wasn't who 
I hoped it would be. 
	"Ms. Scully, you're awake." said the nurse, dressed in a typical 
white uniform. She came close and checked the machine on the side of the 
bed, keeping my pulse. I was eager to ask her about my child...and Mulder. 
	"Excuse me," I said, my voice still weak. "Do you know where my 
husband is?" I'd be in plenty of a doubt is the nurse did such a thing 
as look at my left hand. She smiled as she finished writing something 
down on the clipboard she brang in. 
	"Yes. He's the brown haired, tall man, standing outside the 
nursery just glancing in at a baby girl, am I right?" she said to me, 
in more detail than I expected. I hesitated to ask her if my child was 
a baby girl, until she spoke and broke the silence, 
	"Do you want me to get him for you?" 
	"Uh, yes. Thank you." She began walking out, and I stopped her. 
	"Wait. Can you bring me-" 
	"Yes, of course." she replied, flashing a smile at me. It's 
that smile that nurses give new mothers when they're really happy for 
them. I equally smiled back and she left, closing the door behind her.

	Minutes later, the nurse came in through the door and with a 
child in a nursery bed. She placed it a few feet away from my bed and 
gently carried it into my arms. The cracking sound of the door opening 
was the only sound that derived me from the sight of my daughter. It 
was Mulder. He made his way closer to me with a smile on his lips. A 
small smile that was rose colored, probably from eating excessively too 
much sunflower seeds, due to the nervousness. The nurse evacuated the 
room without further hesitation and Mulder and I were left alone with 
our beautiful daughter. His first words to me after hours of being 
separated were the obvious, 
	"How are you feeling?" I gave him my best smile. 	
	"Fine. Really tired but fine." I replied. His attention then 
was fixated on our girl. She placed his hand gently on her head, as if 
afraid to shatter her.  The smiles returned to his face and to mine. 
	"She's so beautiful." He said to me. "She looks like her mother." 
I looked up at him and noticed he was just staring at her with luminous
eyes. 
	"She looks more like her father." Whispering to him I said. He 
chuckled softly and my eyelids started to weigh upon my eyes. I t had 
been a long and strenuous day for me. I guess all days are like that. 
But today was different. Today I did what I thought I would have never 
been able to do since the day they told me I was unable to conceive 
children. Miracles do happen. And this is living proof of it.


Mulder Residence, 5 years later, 7:30 p.m.:
(Scully's POV) 

	"Hello? Audrey, where are you? Audrey?" I said in a soft playful 
voice. She loved to do this. She would wear me out every time, hiding 
from the kitchen to the bed, from the closet to the bathroom. Even 
though she knew I would find her, she was always exited to play hide 
-n- go seek. "Audrey?" I asked again stepping into Mulder and my 
bedroom. I saw her foot sticking out from behind the hamper and decided
to play along. "I don't know where Audrey is. Where could she be?" I 
heard her giggle at my words lightly but loud enough for me to hear. 
She jumped out from behind the hamper shouting in her small, 
high-pitched, little girl's voice, 
	"Here I am!" I ran over and tickled her saying, 
	"I found her! I found her!" She just laughed and pulled my hands 
away from her stomach. I gave in to her requests and backed away with a 
smile upon my face. I heard the door to the bathroom open and I saw a 
Mulder emerge with a pair of Jeans on and his Knicks T-shirt. After all 
this time, I still can believe he had that, and I still can't believe 
we weren't accustomed to calling ourselves by our first names.  Audrey 
ran from my arms to his and he picked her up and swung her around, 
something that he knew made me worried. 
	"Mulder," I insisted. He nodded and just carried her upright. 
	"Mommy! Daddy's not going to drop me!" she told me, he was just 
smiling. I laughed softly and walked towards them saying, 
	"Let's go, dinner's almost ready." Mulder placed Audrey on the 
floor again. "Audrey go wash your hands." She turned and stepped between 
Mulder and I, and went into the bathroom. Mulder, encircling my waistline, 
walked with me to the kitchen. 
	"Did she have an attack today?" he asked me. Audrey had a 
chronic case of asthma. We don't know where she got it from but it's been 
in her system since she was two. Mulder thinks it's a hereditary result of 
what they did to me, but I've never had asthma or anything near it. It 
was an issue unresolved. 
	"No," I sighed, "Not today." 
	"Then what's wrong?" My mood brang up the question. I didn't 
know the answer as clearly as I'd like. 
	"I don't know. Mulder," I turned around to face him, his hands 
still on my hips. "She's just a little girl, she’s so small and so intelligent 
and… already she suffering from things like asthma." I did know what was 
wrong now.  After listening to my words, I knew clearly what was going 
through my mind. Mulder looked at me and there, I knew he knew too. 
	"Scully," he said to me, moving his hands to my face. "Dana..." 
I looked up into his eyes, and I suddenly realized what he was telling 
me. Nothing's going to happen to Audrey...Audrey is not Emily, they 
read, she's not. The single tear ran down my face, like it was supposed 
to. Mulder pulled me into his sweet embrace, warm, comforting. It 
consoled me so many times before and it still did now. 
	"Ohhhhhhh!" We heard Audrey say from the doorway of the kitchen. 
Oh God, how much had she seen? How much had she heard? Not much if s
he's still in the good mood that characterizes her. Mulder and I separated 
and automatically, Audrey's expression changed. 
	"Mommy?" she asked in a monotone voice I hardly heard. "What's 
wrong?" I turned to look at Mulder. 
	"Nothing honey, Mommy just has a headache." He said to her, 
trying to convince her that nothing was wrong. He went to her a grabbed 
her hand. "Come on, let's sit and watch TV until dinner's ready, ok?" 
She nodded. Mulder flashed me a look, and then walked into the living 
room with Audrey. 


Little Smiles Day Care, the next day, 4:30 p.m.:
(Mulder's POV)

	Traffic, especially the 4 o' clock traffic through downtown D.C. 
was well...stressing in it's self. I was already late to pick up Audrey 
from day care and Scully was waiting for me to take out daughter to 
Pizza Hut. She loved Pizza Hut. She loved everything for that matter. 
It was like everything in her world let out some positive sparkle in 
her world, there were no worries, no sentiments, nothing. Just love. 
The cell phone thrown on the passenger side began to ring and broke my 
train of thought. It made it's second alert before I decided to pick it 
up. Placing it to my ear, I responded, "Hello?" No answer. "Hello?" I 
asked again. "Hello?!" The click. They hung up. I wonder what that 
was...who that was. I let it slide in my mind and resumed driving. 

	Arriving at the day care center, I saw Audrey peering out the 
window, and then ran away from it when she caught my eye. I walked in 
and was greeted by her and her friend, Melanie. 
	"Daddy!" she screamed as she finally got to me and embraced my 
leg. 
	"Hey!" I chuckled. Melanie smiled. Backing away from me, I 
noticed she had an exited expression on her face. 
	"Daddy! Daddy! Melanie is having a pool party on Saturday. Can 
I go? Please? Pretty please? With a cheery on top?" she implored. I was 
about to approve until I thought of Scully. 
	"Let's see what your mom says." 
	"Mommy's gonna say no." The frown appeared on her face. 
	"No she's not. I'll convince her not to. Besides, you know why 
your mommy says no to certain things." 
	"Yeah, I know." God bless her, she was so comprehensive. 
	"Come on. Mom's waiting for us at Pizza Hut." I told her. She 
nodded and waved goodbye to Melanie. Melanie waved back and saw her 
leave behind the white, Disney-character door. 


Mulder Residence, 1:30 am:
(Scully's POV)

	Rolling over to look at the ceiling, I bumped my elbow into 
Mulder's arm muscle. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep because I was 
impatient. Should I have said yes to letting Audrey go to that party? 
Should I have said no? I decided to leave the matter at rest or I wasn't 
going to get any sleep at all. Mulder turned over, facing his side of 
the bed, leaving me only to look at his back. Undoubtedly, Audrey came 
back to mind. I sat up and put on my robe. I had to see if she was 
sleeping okay. I had no idea why I was so overprotective of her, but I 
just was. It was a natural instinct I could not avoid. Walking out of 
my room and crossing to hers, I felt Mulder move once again in bed. I 
turned the knob to her room and there she was, sleeping safe and sound. 
She had the covers pulled all the way up to her chin, being cold as she 
was. Her semi-red hair was spread across the pillow and her eyes were 
peacefully shut. I sat down at the edge of her bed just contemplating 
her calmness, something I had done before with absolutely no purpose 
at all. All of this brang bad and distant memories that I tried 
forcefully to block out, but I was never successful. My little girl. 
The treasure I'd been hunting down for so long. My light in the dark. 
Our light in the dark, speaking for Mulder aswell. He'd been so happy 
the day she was born. I could still remember the gleam in his eyes when 
he had the chance to carry his small baby daughter in his arms. She fit 
so perfectly in his embrace. I touched her face with my fingertips 
hoping not to wake her up. She was so happy, so...beautiful; it seemed 
like just a dream. Everything seemed like just a dream, but I had to 
naturally smile because...it was reality. I'm married to the man I love, 
I have a wonderful daughter, and I'm overwhelmed at all the joy in my 
life. After all the pain, I'm not going to say it was worth it, but it 
does give it some special meaning. A special meaning that was hard to 
find, but we finally found it at the end of the road.


Melanie's Party, Saturday, 2:45 p.m:
(Nararator's POV)

	"Audrey, don't run around the pool!" screamed Melanie. Freeze 
Tag was the game and Audrey was "it". She ram around as fast as she 
could taging two girls and one boy as she went along. Melanie's mother 
said specificly not to run aorund the pool because of the sliperry 
edges but Audrey took no caution. 
	"I'm not gonna fall!" she shouted from the opposite side of the 
pool. 
	"Gotcha!" she screamed at Alex, who froze under her touch. 
	"Melanie you're next!" 
	"Oh no I'm not!" 
	"Yes you are!" She ran around and around. 
	"Audrey be careful!" Melanie saw her best friend trip over an 
inflatable water horse and fall into the 6-feet deep end. 
	"AUDREY!" she screamed. Everyone automaticly ran towards the 
pool, now ignoring the rules of the game, and saw themselves franticly 
screaming for help. Audrey's small hands were all anyone saw in the 
water, splashing from side to side, pleading for help. 
	"Help! Someone! Audrey's drowning!" came from Alex's mouth. No 
one had the courage to jump in and save her, no one knew how to swim. 
Melanie's mother ran out from the screened patio door. 
	"What happened?!" "Audrey fell into the pool!" they all shouted, 
different timings and tones. Melanie's mother ran back inside, franticly 
looking for he phone. When she finally reached it, she dialed 911. 
Afterwards, the hardest part came: calling Audrey's parents. 


Mulder Residence, 2:49 p.m:
(Mulder's POV)

	The lights are out. The only light comes in from the cracks 
through the closed blinds and the TV. Laying my head back, the movie 
entered it's action scene and I felt Scully's feet tremble against mine. 
This was the kind of quality time we get to spend together when Audrey 
isn't home, which is not often. I know Scully looks pacific as ever, 
but inside I know she's curious about Audrey. I hear the phone ring and 
Scully looks up to meet my gaze. 
	"Want me to get it?" she asks calm as ever. 
	"No," I say. "No, stay here, I'll get it." I reach like a 
strech band and mearly grab the phone with the tip of my fingers. 
Answering it I say, "Hello?" I hear voices in the background screaming 
and shouting, some crying, some undistinctable. 
	"Hello? Are theses the parents of Audrey?!" exclaimed the woman 
on the other side. 
	"Yes, yes! What happened?" I was beginning to develop the sense 
that something severe happened to my daughter. 
	"I don't know!" she shouted. "The children were playing and it 
looks like she fell in the deep end!!" I fringed my forehead, unable to 
endulge the cognizance. 
	"Wh-what?!" Scully jumped up and signaled to me, demanding to 
know what was wrong. I told her to wait and reflected my attention to 
the nervous woman over the phone. 
	"You have to come over here!! I don't know exactly what happened 
but she's unconcious." 
	"WHAT?!" 
	"Just hurry, please!" She hung up the phone and left me running 
for my jacket. 
	"Mulder, what happened? Did something happen to Audrey?" she 
asked nervously, chasing me around the house. I turned to her and held 
her by the arms. 
	"Yes! Something happened to Audrey," I told her, her eyes 
growing wider. 
	"She's unconcsious." She didn't have words to retort to me. 
She just followed my moves and we walked out the front door. 


Washigton D.C. Children's Hospital, 3:15 p.m:
(Scully's POV)

	My daugher. The tension grew stronger by the second just knowing 
that this had happened to her. To my daugter, God why?! Mulder was 
pacing in front of me slowly also seeking an explanation. I don't want 
to lose her. Now more than ever is when my faith is at priority. 
	"Scully what's going on in there?" Mulder said to me, obviously 
unable to find the answer within himself, 
	"What did the doctor tell you?" 
	"I...he coulden't manage tell me anything he, " I tried to 
speak out clearly, but my voice and emotions weren't cooperating. 
"He coulden't confirm anything at the moment." I tried to elucidate 
him, to calm him down. It was then I realized I coulden't calm him down 
if I was ineffectual with myself. I stood at the sight of Audrey's 
doctor coming down the hall and I knew he could tell I was anxious to 
know her situation. 
	"What is it?" I asked. He looked factualy into my eyes and 
sighed. I just prepared for the worst. 
	"Audrey's condition is critical. She swallowed a lot of water, 
taking it to her lungs. And with her acute asthma, the effect was doubled. 
Right now, her brain isn't responding to the EEG and the CAT scan turned 
up no results. Techniclly, she's..." I knew what was coming, and I 
didn't want to hear it. I knew I would burst into tears, and I didn't 
want to. I felt Mulder holding me up, aware of my reaction to the 
doctor's response. 
	"She's brain dead."


Washington D.C. Children's Hospital, 6: 36 p.m.: 
(Mulder's POV)

	Brain dead. God she's only 5 years old, don't take her away 
from us. Don't take another daugher away from Scully. Sitting in the 
chair by the corner I could just contemplate them, Scully gently 
stroking her arm and crying softly, almost inaudible. Audrey was laying 
in a bed with a series of IV's hooked to her wrists, her small chest 
rose and fell under the thin heart monitor cable and her head was 
bandaged to the brain monitor. I put my head in my hands as I tried to 
indulge reality as best as my reason would let me, but I coulden't. 
Somehow, I could not...I would not let myself believe what was happening. 
The doctor said he would come around to check on Audrey around 6:30, 
confirming it was about time when I glanced at my watch. As if on cue, 
he entered, the nurses behind him. Scully flitting her view from Audrey 
for the first time in an hour to greet the doctor, stood up at his 
entrance. They set up their machines, getting ready for another EEG 
scan, and Scully came to stand by me, patiently waiting for improvement 
on our daughter's part.  First bypass...nothing. Second and third ones...
nothing. The doctor flashed us a look that we coulden't quite 
understand. Fourth, Fifth and Sixth...still nothing. Hope was fading 
and faith was lacking in us right now. The doctor shook his head in 
neglectance to our expectations. Scully lowered her head, knowing it 
was her final decision. 
	"Turn off the machines." She told them. "Turn them all off..." 
Respecting her decision, I kept quiet and didn't say a word. I knew it's 
not what she wanted, but she didn't want to keep Audrey suffering. My 
emotions were at the same peak level as anyone else's in the room and a 
tear flowed down my cheek. Scully turned me into an embrace that I 
coulden't refuse and with the same passion we reveled five years ago 
when our daughter was born, we mourn now for her loss. 

Our Audrey is gone. 


St. Mary of Grace Cementary, 3 days later, 1:09 p.m.: 
(Narrarator's POV)

	The skies were bright and shiny yet there was no other sound 
than tears in the air. It was a small crowd gathered around one priest 
and the casket of what appeared to be a small child. Mulder stood next 
to Scully crying the same tears as her in loss of Audrey. Margaret 
Scully was there with her daughter and her sons, Bill and Charles. 
God how she had loved Audrey. She just like anyone present was feeling 
the pain. Bill stood with his wife Tara, looking down on the diminutive 
grave that was being lowered into the ground. They occasionaly remembered 
their 7-year old son which was in good hands of friends back at the 
naval base. Teena, Mulder's mother was also gathered there sharing the 
melancholy feeling with her son and daughter-in-law. Throwing the white 
roses towards the casket, they let out another set of wet tears and 
added more grief into the air. Diggers started to cover the coffin with 
black cementary soil, making it disapeer more each second. Scully 
hugged Mulder in signal that she coulden't stand the site. How much 
more pain would they have to take? How much more lives have to be lost 
to finally reach hapiness? Only God and the Demons know. But for now, 
they were determined to leave it up to their destiny and look to the 
sky for a better day.

END