Mood:  down

I had another cube visitor!

Here are his survey answers.

1) What was your favorite part of Laura's Cube?
     LAURA
2) Are there any improvements that could be made to Laura's Cube?
     LAURA w/ v8.22 Service Patch
3) Will you visit again?
     Yes
4) After visiting Laura's Cube, do you still think she deserves the title of Executive Director of Coolness? Why or why not?
     Yes. No HIPPA violations to date.

Later!
Laura

Quote of the Blog
"I'm wallowing in my own crapulence." - C. Montgomery Burns

Mood:  irritated

Yeah, I know, it's been a while. I have carpal tunnel people. And between work, the SSCP, the House list... well, I have more typing than I can handle.

Anyway... Millsie is my new best friend. After visiting me in my cube at work, I sent her this:

Thank you for visiting Laura's Cube. We hope you enjoyed your stay.

In an effort to constantly improve the quality of Laura's Cube, we are asking that you complete this brief survey. Your results will be kept strictly confidential, with the exception of possibly being published for the world to see on Laura's blog. Thank you for your time. We hope you'll visit again soon.

1) What was your favorite part of Laura's Cube?
2) Are there any improvements that could be made to Laura's Cube?
3) Will you visit again?
4) After visiting Laura's Cube, do you still think she deserves the title of Executive Director of Coolness? Why or why not?

Sincerely,
The Boss Lady
Laura's Cube, Inc.

Her response:

Dear Boss Lady, The:

I appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts with Laura's Cube, Inc.  Please accept the following responses on behalf of, well, myself.

1) My favorite part of Laura's Cube was the pair of chicken earrings, followed closely by the plethora of cartoon clippings.  Oh, and all of the House, M.D. memorabilia.  And the photos were great, too.
2) I do not know of any improvements that would need to be made to Laura's Cube at this time.
3) I am certain that I will visit again, and I will tell my friends all about the many joys that visiting Laura's Cube can offer them.
4) I absolutely agree that Ms. Dugan deserves the title of Executive Director of Coolness, mostly because she is in possession of the most knowledge of coolocity of anyone who has ever existed in any universe ever, but also because she already has the name plate.

Again, thank you for the opportunity to provide feedback.

Best,
Jennifer A. Miller, M.S.

See why she's my new best friend?

Later!
Laura

Quote of the Blog
I have a good friend who is swell.
Her name starts with a capital L.
She came from P-A,
and she likes to play,
but she'd likely laugh if you fell.
- Millsie

Mood:  not sure

Seriously. A part of my chair just fell off. I don't think it's an important part because I'm still *in* my chair, not on the floor, but it's still somewhat disconcerting. It's just been that kind of day.

I ask now that you take a moment to read this short article, courtesy of Reuters Oddly Enough column. Go ahead, read it. I'll wait.

(hums to self)

BEIJING (Reuters) - Think a bottle of mineral water might have poisoned you? Then test it on a chicken.

One Chinese family on the southern island province of Hainan had just that idea when one of their number started vomiting blood after drinking a bottle of water, a newspaper said.

They fed the luckless chicken the rest of the water to see what would happen, the Beijing News said, citing a report in a local paper. "The result was the chicken died within a minute," it said, showing a picture of a man holding a plastic bottle squatting over the crumpled body of the bird.

The province's authorities were investigating, it added.

Barely a day goes by without some new scandal over a made-in-China product, be it toys, toothpaste or fish, which has raised safety concerns in major export markets around the world.

--------

Okay - you done now? What's the problem with this article? It's not the dead chicken. It's not the last paragraph about the perils of China. It's the two following phrases:

"when one of their number started vomiting blood after drinking a bottle of water"

and

"showing a picture of a man holding a plastic bottle squatting over the crumpled body of the bird"

Get it yet? One of their "number" was "vomiting blood" and the story describes a picture of another of their "number" holding the bottle over the dead bird. Hello? What the hell happened to "vomiting number?" Is he okay? Did they at least take him to a hospital? doctor? mortuary?

And a larger question lurks still: did they eat the chicken after it died?

Hmmm... maybe I'll get Chinese food for dinner tonight.

Later!
Laura

P.S. I apologize for the lame ending, but my brain "died" after I wrote "mortuary." HA!

Quote of the Blog
To everyone who is currenly serving our country in any way, or has done so in the past, thanks.

Mood:  silly

My co-workers and I were just talking about popcorn lung, which is the most disgusting euphamism I've heard for a disease in a long time. I made popcorn, which started this whole conversation, and now I've learned a lesson. Like most things in life, you'll be just fine as long as you don't inhale.

Of course, talking about popcorn lung leads directly to my primary topic of this blog entry: General Hospital. I've started watching this again, in the form of General Hospital: Night Shift, which is a weekly one-hour long special episode of the show. This is the GH I like: it's one hour a week, not five, it features some of my fav characters (though not Alexis), it's funny, smart, and dramatic without being too cheesy. And have I mentioned it's only an hour a week? It's like a daytime primetime daytime drama. It's perfect.

However... seeing as they're *both* General Hospital, the original and NS seem like they should have some sort of connection. You know, what happens on NS is reflected or at least acknowledged on the original. We used to run into this when Port Charles was on the air, but then it was something like it's raining on GH but not on PC.

Now with NS you get things like Maxie is on her deathbed in the hospital... and then on GH she's sleeping with anything with three legs, if you get what I mean. I only caught one episode of GH (They said Rick Springfield was going to perform. He didn't. I think I might have been a week early. Or late. I should really pay closer attention to these things. I WISH THAT I HAD JESSE'S GIRL!). It's possible there are more examples of this blatant disregard of time. Unless there are *two* Maxies - sick Maxie and well Maxie. Which wouldn't surprise me. It *is* a soap opera.

There's this character on both GH and NS named Spinelli, who is hysterical - he's totally like 90% of the guys I went to college with: a computer guy who can barely communicate with the general public. An example? He wanted to ask a girl out on a date... for dinner... and then back to his place so she could watch him play video games and observe his VG prowess. Heh. I love Spinelli.

So Spinelli created this video game on the internet that features Stone Cold - Spinelli's nickname for Jason. I think GH should totally market this game. Come on - the first soap opera to create a video game? A beat-em-up, shoot-em-down video game? It would be perfect! It would open up the show to an entirely new market.

Plus Steve Burton is hot. I certainly wouldn't mind having him at my command. :o)

Later!
Laura

P.S. Have I mentioned that NS also features the talents of the one and only Billie Dee Williams? COME ON! It's LANDO!!!!!! And have a Colt 45... on me!

Quote of the Blog

Spinelli: Stone Cold! I am in desperate need of your wisdom. I am at Def Con 4! Check that, Def Con 5 . . . Tell me how to make fair Lulu fall in love with me? . . . You are wise in all things Stone Cold, you are. You taught me to escape armed desperados, and to placate Mr. Corinthos Sir. And when it comes to affairs of the heart, look, not only have you managed to win Samantha's undying love, but you also managed to seduce the loyal Elizabeth away from her husband!
Jason: That's it, this conversation is done now.
Spinelli: Look, I'm not passing judgment! I'm just saying, I'm merely pointing out that you have these two, paragons, completely devoted to you. And then you throw Valkyrie Carly in the mix, and, you are a chick magnet, as they say. I mean, you're a true triple-threat.
Jason: What does any of this have to do with you and Lulu?
Spinelli: You possess the secret. Okay? I mean, you can wield your power over a woman's heart, her body, her soul? Y'know like, who else would I go to for wisdom vis-a-vis the Blonde One? I mean, dude, c'mon, please, just if you give me just a little something, about, give me the secret to your mojo.
Jason: I've got to get out of here.
Spinelli: No, mentor of mine, please. Look, I have a confession. Look, okay, I may rule cyberspace. But in reality, well, The Jackal struggles. You know, I mean, this may come as a surprise to you, but there are some people that don't take me seriously. There may even be some who mock me behind my back. So, please, just please, just give me something, anything, anything to make Fair Lulu take me seriously.
Jason: Listen.
Spinelli: Okay. (waits for more) What, that's it?
Jason: Yeah, that's it. Listen to Lulu. Women like to talk a lot. They want a guy who's going to listen. Now you may not understand what she's trying to say half the time, but that does not matter. It's the simple act of listening that counts.
Spinelli: Wow, that is so zen. Deepest gratitudes, Stone Cold. (Spinelli tries to hug Jason)
Jason: What, what'd I say about touching me??
Spinelli: Alright. Deepest gratitudes. And when Fair Lulu is mine, I will remember your kindness.

- General Hospital

Mood:  incredulous

I could not fall asleep last night. This is a recurring problem, but last night was particularly bad. Around 10:00, I suddenly felt wide awake. Drugs helped this and by 11:00 I was very sleepy, but still couldn't fall asleep.

Then I had one of those moments where things start filling your head that you don't want to fill your head. In this case, I started thinking about my previous employer and how unfairly they treated me. I realized this while I was there, which is why I left, but I realize it even more now that I'm at an employer where I am truly appreciated. It's amazing what a change like that can do to a person.

But I digress... in thinking about my previous employer, certain people in the direct line of command in particular, I got very, very angry and started composing this witty and pithy blog to said people. I was profound, I was moving, and I've forgotten all of it now. What I realized is it doesn't matter anyway. If they were to stumble across my blog and read it, it wouldn't make a difference. They'd still continue thinking they were right and I'd continue knowing I was right.

That still doesn't quell this frustration inside of me. Knowing one thing and accepting it are two completely different things. I KNOW they're never going to change, but I can't ACCEPT it. So, in a move many people would probably not agree with, I'm going to express some of my frustrations in this blog, in a sort of virtual shout-out to the universe of ways NOT to treat your employees.

In my "scenarios" here, A is the subordinate and B is the boss. This is mostly to save me some typing. I *do* sort of have carpal tunnel, after all.

1) B, do NOT ask A about a fellow B's personal life. And when A gets upset and says s/he's uncomfortable with the conversation, don't chastise A for saying such. Even if B apologizes, all As have a right to express when they feel a conversation is inappropriate.
2) Human Resources B, do NOT tell A you think they should quit. Do not tell other As, shortly after they've been hired, that their references said bad things about them. Do not favor certain As over other As. Do not favor certain Bs over other Bs. You're Human Resources. You're supposed to be neutral territory, not the instigator of a war.
3) B, do NOT expect all of your As to be perfect sunshiney happy people all of the time. Do NOT make them sign a piece of paper saying they agree to by perfect sunshiney happy people. Everyone has bad days. Including you.
4) B, if you're threatened by your A, they shouldn't know this. And if you are, deal with it. You're the B, after all. This, however, does NOT give you the right to take things out on A for no apparant reason.
5) Gossip, of all kinds, can only lead to tears.

Bitter? Yeah, I am, but I feel much better. If none of my Bs ever read this, that's fine. I did this for me.

And to everyone out there... apologies, first, for this not being a very funny blog, but I want to share a beacon of hope... if you're miserable in your current job, don't give up! You'll find a place like I did - with good, kind, wonderful people. It just takes time.

Later!
Laura

Quote of the Blog
"If it is to be, it is up to me."