living la vida loca
Mood:  not sure
They don't have an emoticon for tired, so "not sure" is the best I can do.

I'd like to give a shout out to all the guys down at Mile One who have been snooping around my website. :)

Apparently I missed the memo telling me that today is opposite day. On my drive to work today I witnessed not one, but two cars who had on their right turn signals as they proceeded into the left lane of the highway. I was tempted to join in the fun and drive in front of them really slowly - opposite to my usual 10 miles over the speed limit. However, I refrained. But perhaps it's time to re-address my suggestions for people who misuse turn signals: Driving Under the Influence of Electricity.

I'm also in the process of updating my website. So, here are some of the changes:
o New STFBE fic: it's a funny one! And you don't even have to watch the show to understand it.
o You can now post comments to my blog! And please do! They are moderated, so it may take me a day or two to approve them, but I had to do it that way to prevent crazy people (like Democrat Hippie Groupie Ken) from posting inappropriate things.
o New design: at some point I'll get a new masthead up there.
o Quotes: right now, I've added some STFBE quotes and General Hospital quotes.
o Links: are all being changed to lauradugan.com from the much longer angelfire addresses.
o Facts about John Kerry: Need I say more?

Toodles,
Laura

Quote of the Blog
?I guess you could say I was inspired by our refrigerator.? ~ Lucy in Sue Thomas Deaf Bee Eye and the Case of the Magic Rainbow also known as What Was in that Steak and Pizza?

I have a Ty Beanie Baby named Lefty
Mood:  special
I'm special.

I remembered the other thing I wanted to talk about, and it's probably not that entertaining, but I'm proud I remembered, so I'm going to do it anyway.

I have on my laptop desktop (my work computer) a picture from Sue Thomas F.B.Eye. It's the same one on my website: https://www.angelfire.com/home/lalilo/stfbe.html. I was staring at it today as I was instant messaging (cause I do a lot of work at work) and realized a couple of things about the picture, the first of which being I have way too much free time.

Anyway, the picture shows the cast of STFBE, all the people that work for the FBI and Levi who, from what I have seen, is smarter than most humans, including George Bush. And I guess for the sake of the picture, they moved some things around. For example, both Jack and Bobby (2nd and 3rd from left) have their holsters on their right sides, implying they are left handed. They are not. Dimitrius (2nd from right), on the other hand (literally and figuratively) has his holster correctly on the left. Myles is the only male without a gun, at least not that I can see. Which brings me to my other point... Where are the ladies' guns??? Tara (1st on left) is a field agent as is Sue (middle). Where are their guns? I mean, I can understand Lucy not having one - she's not field rated. Is this some sort of sexist statement?? Or am I just over-analyzing things? Yeah, you're right, probably the latter. This is what I get from taking a gender studies class.

In case you were wondering, PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS is supposedly the longest word in the English language.

Quote of the Blog

Hope is on the way.

Vote John Kerry/John Edwards

Pornography Ken Strikes Again (hey, that rhymes!)
Mood:  not sure
You'd think by now he'd learn that I'm going to blog whatever he says to me... This time, Pornography Ken asked me if I was voyeuristic because I have a blog. So now I write pornography and am a voyeur. Who knew?

A large part of my job - large part of why I don't always like my job - is making phone calls. All the damn time.

I would like to lodge two complaints to anyone who is listening. What is the deal with call intercept? And with people not having voice mail? I'll deal with the latter first.

It's 2004, people!!! Come on!!! How can you NOT have voice mail or an answering machine? They are NOT that expensive. You can get a cheapy answering machine for $10 at Target. I hate calling students and hearing the phone ring and ring and ring and ring...

It's almost as irritating as call intercept, which was developed by the good people at Satan Rules Earth, Inc. For those of you unfamiliar with call intercept, it's for people who are too lazy to read the Caller ID display. My work phone number shows up either as a bank or as an unknown number. There is nothing I can do about this. What I don't understand is why can't people just look at their caller ID display... not answer... let me leave a message and then either pick up or call me back. It's NOT that much of an effort, is it? But no... People have to get this stupid call intercept which means every time I call them I have to record my name and company ("The person you are calling has call intercept, a feature that serves no other purpose than annoying those who are calling") and then listen to the same ridiculous musak over and over until I finally here "You are now being connected to an answering service" after which there is no answering service. Instead, I am sent into the void where all things mysterious rest like black holes, Michael Jackson's original skin color, and Halliburton's records.

Speaking of evil, I think (well I seriously hope) that Bush is in trouble. I watched part of the DNC last night... and I've been reading about the two previous nights. It seems to be going well! And Richard Schiff was there, which is always a good sign. I really, really like John Edwards and I am very proud to have voted for him in the primaries. And he's certainly not bad to look at. :)

I'm thinking about selling t-shirts to people who are supporters of Kerry... Arica got me into this t-shirt making business and I thought, hey, why not use my new hobby to support my man Kerry? I have a "Rock the Vote" shirt that Arica made me.. and I made myself one that says "Only you can make a difference" on the front and "rock the vote" on the back. I'd be willing to make any "vote Kerry/Edwards" shirt. So let me know if you're interested. All proceeds go right to Kerry.

Um, I feel like there was something else I was going to talk about but it's gone now. Maybe later.

Quote of the Blog

Josh Lyman: You know what, CJ? I really think I'm the best judge of what I mean, you paranoid Berkeley shiksa feminista... Wow, that was way too far.
C.J. Cregg: No. No. Well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist, Harvard, fascist, missed-the-dean's-list-two-semesters-in-a-row Yankee jackass.
Josh Lyman: Feel better getting that off your chest there, C.J.?
C.J. Cregg: I'm a whole new woman.

The West Wing

Jessica Simpson is an idiot.
Mood:  don't ask
Just thought I'd share that with the group.

So I haven't written in a week, and I don't really have anything funny to say, but I thought that I should post something.

Linda is leaving. Well, actually, she's gone. Even though I'm really happy for her, I'm also really sad and angry (though not at all angry at her), so if you see me walking around somewhere, don't be surprised if I punch you. Pornography Ken likes to blame all of my problems on being a woman, so you can do the same. But if you tell me that you're doing that, I'll probably punch you again. Harder.

I saw I, Robot last night. It was pretty good. The special effects were unbelievable and Will Smith was really good (man's got a cute butt!) and so was Bridget Moynahan (the mean girl from Coyote Ugly. My only issue with the movie is, if that's how the world is supposed to be in 31 years, we have a hell of a lot of work to do - so Bill Gates, get at it!

Well, that's all I've got for now.

Oh, I hope you all check out the Democratic National Convention and give my man Kerry a couple minutes of your time. You won't regret it!

Quote of the Blog
"You're the dumbest smart person I've ever met." ~ Spooner
later...
"You're the dumbest dumb person I've ever met." ~ Calvin

What a world...
Mood:  surprised
MJ
So Alexis just informed me that Michael Jackson is expecting quadruplets... and before you think the King of Pop has become the Queen of Pop, apparently some woman in Florida is expecting the four mini-molesters and the King of Pop is the pop through sperm donation.

Can I just say this? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Alexis also brought up the subject of names. Mike's children are named Prince Michael I (the unfortunate first born), Paris Michael (the girl), and Prince Michael II aka Blanket (dangling baby who will forever fear heights).

Mike, in case you're listening (or reading, as the case may be) here are my suggestions for names:

Tissue - Soft, cuddly and absorbent. What more could you ask for in a child?

Djibouti - The African country would represent Michael's fading ethnicity.

Elmo - Tickle me.

Fluffernutter - Sweet and gooey, with much the same consistency as Michael's skin.

Dipsy, Po, Laa-laa, and Tinky Winky - Four teletubbies, four Jackson kids, equal chance of being gay.

Money for Nothing and the Checks for Free
I just earned $100 for about 1 minute's worth of work. Kick ass!!

I got my mail yesterday and there was a letter from Reader's Digest. I just figured it was probably about a subscription renewal. Imagine my surprise when I opened the letter and found a check... for $100... without much of an explanation... All there was was an index card saying "Thank you for your contribution. It will be seen in an upcoming issue, you lucky dog, you." or something like that. Well, it's actually in the current issue, a Quotable Quote that I submitted a couple of months ago. It's on page 73, in case you were wondering.

You can no longer say my obsession with Jennifer Garner doesn't pay off. It pays $100!

Yesterday's Blog
I've been informed by Pornography Ken, for that is now his name, I'm having it changed legally, that my blog yesterday wasn't that funny. I would like to point out by saying I prefaced that blog entry by saying it wasn't going to be very funny. This just confirms my suspicions that Ken really can't read. He must have had someone else read it to them and they skipped that first part. That is the only explanation I can think of.

Ta ta!

Quote of the Blog
"Never do what you can overdo!"
~ Lucy Coe, General Hospital