TITLE: "Shelf Life: Interrupting Bliss"
AUTHOR: Jen
EMAIL: JenR13@aol.com
SPOILERS: None
RATING: PG-13
KEYWORDS: MSR
CLASSIFICATION: SR and a little bit of (twisted) H
ARCHIVE: Go ahead and archive, just keep my name on it :-)
SUMMARY: Mulder can never do anything right, at least according 
to his fish.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never were.  Never will be.

Writer's Notes:  Well, it's been awhile, and this little 
story has been sitting on my hard drive for weeks, so I 
decided to let it loose.  A little more rauchy than I intended, 
but this is not me speaking, it's the fish. :-) 

"Shelf Life: Interrupting Bliss"
By Jen 

	Well, I thought tonight was the night.  In fact, the 
whole tank thought tonight was the night.  Mulder had the chance 
to do something great.  Something that would bring daily food to 
our tank.  That something's name was Dana Scully.
	Well, living in Mulder's tank can have it's benefits.  I 
can see everything.  The stories I could sell if I wasn't just a 
fish in a tank.  Oh, well, back to tonight.
	Mulder came home happy.  That doesn't just happen.  Of 
course my first thought was he and Scully had already done the 
deed at work on the brand new oak desk I heard him ordering on 
the phone last week.  And he charged it to a guy named Skinner.  
All I know is that oak desks aren't cheap and this Skinner guy is 
probably hasn't found out yet if Mulder is still alive.
	Mulder was humming.  I was shocked! The Mulder I lived with 
did NOT hum!  At this point I really thought that Mulder had gotten 
laid.  I guess I would hum too if it was the first time in three 
years.
	He's on the phone now.  Ordering pizza and lighting candles 
on the table.  Candles and pizza?  Ok, who abducted the real 
Mulder?
	Oh, wait, here's the Mulder I know.  He's putting a bowl of 
sunflower seeds in the middle of the table.  Though I've never 
seen him put them in a bowl before.  Guess the lovely Scully is 
coming over tonight.
	Mulder sets the seeds down, and walks toward the bathroom.  
He's fixing his hair, for the 45th time tonight.  There's a knock 
at the door.  Mulder stumbles over his own feet as walks toward the 
door.  Not the most graceful of men, but guess it doesn't matter.
	"Ok, tonight's the night, Mulder.  Don't screw it up," he 
whispers to himself as he opens the door. Little does he know that 
he'll be eating those words before he eats the pizza. 
	He has opened the door and Scully walks casually in, 
carrying a bag in her left hand.
	"What's that?" Mulder asked.
	"Iced tea," she answers.
	"Must be fate." He grins.
	Scully placed the iced tea down and gave a smile of her 
own.  Gee, they better not get sappy on me, I have enough of that 
with the two "love fish" who are now making at the bottom of the tank.  
I came up for something good!
	Ah, they're moving.  Time for some action.  This is going 
to be better than that movie Mulder likes to watch, "Bambi does 
Dallas."
	Now that the iced tea has been discussed, Mulder shut the 
door behind them.  "Let's eat, first."
	"You cooked?" Scully said, shocked.
	"Hey if calling Pete's Pizza qualifying as cooking, I sure 
did."
	"Living room dining?" Scully said as she glanced toward 
the coffee table.
	"Well, I thought the couch might be better for dessert.....," 
Mulder trailed off.  He led Scully to the couch.  Scully dropped 
her coat on a chair and she and Mulder sat down.  Ahh, two 
lovebirds..........if he screws this relationship up, we'll all die 
on him.  And flushing four fish down the drain can really stop up 
your toilet!
	Scully went to reach for a glass, when Mulder grabbed her 
and kissed her.   And some kiss!! They must be breathing out of 
their ears!  Finally they came up for air, so to speak.  Now, 
here's where our hero went wrong.  He pushed Scully down on the 
couch and leaned toward her.  As I mentioned before, Mulder is not 
the most graceful FBI Agent in the world, so when he went to prop 
himself up on one hand while he kissed Scully, he managed to loss 
his balance.  So big deal, they fall off the couch, right? Wrong!!  
Mulder had to make things complicated.  He had to fall almost on 
top of Scully and had to hit his head on the very cold and hard 
piece of wood that made up the end of the couch arm.   And in the 
true style of Mulder, he knocked himself out.  Scully shook him 
and realized he was unconscious.  
	"Oh, Mulder," she said, sighing.  "Let's hope we don't have 
to add another concussion to your long list of accidents.  How am 
I going to explain this one?"  She moved him off of her and settled 
him on the couch.  She got some ice wrapped in a towel and put it 
on top of the huge bump Mulder had that was already turning purple.  
Well, Mulder blew it folks!!  Let's hope that some of the sympathy 
Scully has for him will help him rebound.  At least for our sake.

-That's it. Hey, I knew it was a little cruel for Mulder, but I 
couldn't help it. :-) Do Mulder and Scully have that "first date" 
they're wanted? Will the fish ever get there food? Will Mulder come 
back for the rebound? Find the answers to these and more in "Shelf 
Life: On the Rebound" coming to a newsgroup near you.  All comments 
can be sent to JenR13@aol.com.