Stephanie reappeared in the forest a few feet away from where Seth was sitting.
“Can’t seem to find a secluded spot these days…”
Stephanie looked around and finally found Seth sitting in a tree, his back against the trunk. “YOU! I have a bone to pick with you.”
“Don’t you all.”
“You know my sister is having flash backs that are hurting her! And I have a hunch that you are behind them! If you want us to help you in anyway in the future you better tell me what you know about these ‘memories’.”
“Ah yes… Cougar. No, I don’t know what’s up with the memories she’s recalling. My hold on her was broken after that dance.”
“You’re lying!” Steph jumped up into the tree, her bow staff out. She pressed the tip of it at his throat.
He looked her in the eyes as he spoke, “I told you I’m not the one responsible.” He muttered the last half of the sentence, unintelligible to Steph.
“What was that?” She enforced her statement with increased pressure from her staff.
“I said it could be an after effect. New spells tend to do that, you should know.”
She lets up slightly, “Do you know anyway to stop them?”
“It’s impossible to stop one’s memories from resurfacing… short from brainwashing that is.”
Steph lets him go and drops back down to the ground. Sitting on the rock she thought out loud, “So there really isn’t anything we can do?”
Seth rubbed his neck, “Who knows.” He then shook his head and continued talking, not really addressing her. “Very alike in many aspects…” Leaning back against the trunk he sighed, “Curse her logic…”
“What are you talking about?”
“She never said? I suppose she wouldn’t. We are alike, same problem, same solution, and unfortunately the same thinking.” He formed a small ball of navy blue light and tossed it back and forth in his hands. “Too much…”
“What is that?”
“This?” He held the light up.
Stephanie nodded.
“Your not good at detecting are you?”
“No… not really, that’s Irene’s job.”
He tossed the ball and it exploded in a flash a light about a foot away from her.
Stephanie jumped back in surprise, but calmed once she discovered it wasn’t harmful. Again she inquired what it was.
Seth laughed, “Your serious aren’t you? Even the cathern could tell what some things were.”
“Now I know what a cathern is but I have no clue what that ball was.”
“I don’t see how she would want to go back if you light warriors are all like this.”
“Wait a second. What are you talking about?” Steph reached for her staff.
“You can figure it out.”
“No…”
“At least all I was taught were not lies.” He smiled darkly at her, thoroughly enjoying himself.
“You know what? I’m getting tired of you insulting me. I’m just asking for some simple answers so that I can help my sister that’s all I want.” Her hand tightens on her staff.
Seth began to talk to her as if she were 3, “I was saying that I can’t believe why Coug would ever want to go back to the side of light if all the warriors aren’t that swift.”
“How dare you! I can’t believe that you said that, you don’t even know us! I’m worried and confused about my sister so my mind isn’t functioning normally. Don’t say things that you don’t know anything about!” She stood up.
“I know more than you think.”
Stephanie glared at him, her anger flaring.
Seth studied her, “You know, with proper training you would make a nice addition.”
“What?” She said with disgust.
“You have nearly the same background as Cougar, and back then she was one of Darrin’s finest.”
Steph looked away ashamed, the added softly, “My past has nothing to do with this.”
“Perhaps. All three of us have pasts to put behind, but its still there.”
“Yes I know. It will be there for the rest of a person’s life. Even if you try to put it behind you, it will always be there. But… It’s what you do with your future that truly matters. Irene and I have turned toward good.”
“Are you so sure on that?”
“More than anything in the world.
“Prepare for the unexpected.”
Steph continues, ignoring him, “I mean, for a long time I was afraid of what I might do. I was afraid of making friends or being around family because I was afraid of hurting them. But I know now that I have truly changed.”
“I wasn’t necessarily referring to you. And as she says, you can’t change your true self.”
“You know what? You may know my history, but that doesn’t mean that you know what my true self is. I am a fighter of good. I once thought evil was good, but I know differently now. You can’t convince me otherwise.”
“It is all relative. Good, bad… who’s to say which is which?”
“Well that all depends on which side you’re on, and what you’ve been taught.”
“Cougar agreed with me. But then you believe her sense of right and wrong has been twisted around.”
She looked at him in surprise, “How did you know that?”
“That she agreed with me?”
“No what I was thinking about her.”
“Your not hard to read.”
She smiled slightly, “I’ve been told that before. I’m just worried, I’ve never seen her like this before.”
“Give her enough time and you won’t recognize her.”
“I don’t know what to do…”
“When will you light warriors learn? Not everything can be solved.”
“It is what we are taught. Irene keeps trying to tell us to do differently but I guess that is instinct.”
“But of course… both sides are the same, egotistical in their own way.”
“I guess your right about that.”
Seth nods his head slightly, “And as I told her before, no one follows their side religiously. You certainly didn’t when you first came here.”
“No… I guess, that is true. But… well… I don’t know. I’m so confused.”
“Welcome to my world. I was fine with my new way of things until that feline showed up and ruined it all.”
“But you know she’s right. She’s always right.”
“Is that right?” He chuckled slightly at the thought.
“Who knows anymore.”
“You are already backtracking, questioning things. Reality becomes strange, nothing is true, and every thing is true.”
“Sometimes you think you know something, but really you don’t know anything.”
“The first intelligent thing you’ve said, perhaps you are fit for the panther.” He applauded her.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“That perhaps you have the wrong spirit animal.”
Stephanie’s anger returned and she yelled at him, “You know what? I am starting to get tired of your attitude! That is the biggest insult that you can give a person! Especially me.”
Seth bowed his head taking it as a compliment, “Why thank you.”
Stephanie leaped at him and shoved her staff at his chest, pinning him to the tree. “You are a no good, pain in the butt. I came to you for help. Obviously I came to the wrong place!”
“You’re a quick learner.”
“I had faith in you that you might have some answers. I guess I just don’t know anything.” She vanished shortly after.
“That was easier than I thought.” He dusted his hands off and then vanished.
Stephanie reappeared on the pier of the hidden forest lake not wanting to go back to the base for the questioning session she knew would come. Suddenly she heard a voice behind her.
“Hard to find a private place isn’t it?”
Stephanie leaped to her feet, her staff out. She attacked in the direction of the voice, “You just don’t know how to leave people alone do you!”
Irene quickly grabbed the staff and lightly flipped her over, pinning her to the ground. “Whoa, its okay… just me.”
Stephanie looked up at her sister, “Oh, I thought you were someone else, sorry.”
“I suppose it’ll become common to mistake me for Seth.” A note of distaste was in her voice as she let her up.
“Don’t say that. That’s not true and you know it. Irene, it doesn’t matter what happened in the past. Its now that matters. I know what happened was horrible, I’ve been there. But you’re not like that now.”
Irene turned away from her and looked out over the lake, “You don’t know.”
“What do you mean I don’t know? I tried killing my own cousin and many other people. I know what being evil is like. Maybe I don’t know what it’s like to think your good and then find out that while you were suppose to…”
Irene interrupted her coldly, “No, you don’t know. I helped kill an entire army.”
“You have no idea how many people I have killed in my life. I’d have killed you if it weren’t for our teacher.”
Irene turned to her and smiled slightly, “I’m not that easy to kill as you know, but it’s different…” She shook her head, not wanting to share the feeling that had been bugging her.
“Whatever…” She then went silent and laid her arm on her sisters shoulder to comfort her.
“Leave it be.” Irene moved away from her
Steph looked away from her in pain, “You know what? I wish I could… but I can’t because you are my sister. You’re about to waste yourself away on a memory that happened in the past. Yes Irene it happened. You can’t just…”
“I know it did, that’s the trouble. I suppose I’ve blocked it due to my teachings here… but now, it’s almost like a duel personality.”
“I know it hurts… but we’re your friends, and we want to help.”
She turned and looked her in the eyes, “That’s where you are wrong. It doesn’t hurt.”
Steph looked surprised, “What are you saying?”
Irene growled in frustration, “Half of me is repulsed by it, the other half…”
“Irene, what?”
“You want the truth?”
“Of course I do.”
“As much as I hate to admit it… especially with our teachings… I enjoyed it.” She looked quickly away from her.
Stephanie, at lost for words, stayed silent.
Irene sighed as she looked at the lake. “They are right when they say ignorance is bliss.”
“Maybe… Irene, it was part of the spell. You know, to make you feel like you enjoyed it. To make you believe that it’s what you wanted to do.”
She shook her head, “Partially perhaps, but its something I’ve always felt… perhaps it’s the predator in me.”
“Maybe, but I don’t think so.”
“Is it just me or during times of peace there is a yearning? I feel… deprived in a way..” She looked at her sister, “You know what I mean, the thrill of the battle, the yearning for it?”
“In a way I think we all have that. The love of a good fight. I like to fight because I like the satisfaction at the end, that we have put a bad guy away.”
“No, you don’t see where I’m coming from. Then again, you never had the real experience.”
“You’re probably right. But I’m trying to see your point of view.”
“It’s not how it turns out, it’s the act. Too hard to explain, you’ll never follow me.” She brought up her staff and turned and faced Stephanie, her eyes show no hint of her intention.
Stephanie watched her sister, not sure what to tell her.
Irene walked up to her, standing about a foot from her, her eyes betrayed her calm nature for they showed how deeply troubled she truly was. She then pushed her staff into Stephanie’s hands.
Stephanie looked at the staff questioningly, “What’s this for?”
Irene ignored her question, “Tell Zach to take good care of the sword, it is his now.”
“Irene you are not serious, are you? We can help you. This is not the answer.” The tears began to flow down her cheeks.
“Tell everyone to keep their teachings… and be strong.” She then turned and walked away.
Stephanie come up behind her and grabbed her shoulder, “I can’t let you go. Not like this.”
Irene moved away from her, but stopped walking, “Stay back, for your own safety stay back!”
“Irene?”
“Don’t… It’s the right thing.”
“Not it’s not. The right thing is to be with the ones that love you. I am your sister and I love you very much and without you I wouldn’t know what to do. Jake, he also loves you. His heart would be crushed without you.”
“I do know that… but I’m too dangerous to be around you all now… I need time, alone.”
“Will you come back?”
“Maybe…”
“If I don’t get a yes answer I won’t let you go.”
“I don’t know yet, its too soon.”
“Irene, we need you and you need us. Don’t leave please!”
“You don’t need me for the group, you have the wielder and he has the swords. For now that is enough.”
“Irene you are my strength. You help me do so many things. Not just fighting, but living. Well, without you I wouldn’t be living at all I would be a spirit floating around Adam, wanting to talk to you all.” She continued to plead with her, hoping to convince Irene to stay.
“If I stay, the chances of coming out of this are slim.”
“Why must you go?”
“Reflection, perhaps to learn more. I cannot do that here.”
Steph looked down and sniffed, “I just don’t know how to let you go. You’ve always been there.”
“Its not as if I’m going to get myself killed.”
After a moment of silence, “No, but it could be worse.”
“My return to him? If that was it, don’t worry about it.”
“At least tell me where you’re going.”
“I can’t, that would defeat the purpose of seclusion. I want away from distractions from either side. This is for me to decide not outer influences.”
“What am I suppose to do?”
“Do as you wish.”
“I wish to spend time with my sister during the Christmas season. The holiday of family time. You and Jason are the only real family that I can do those things with.”
Irene looked at her, everything in her mind had halted, “I guess I lost track of time… I didn’t realize today…”
“Yes, today is Christmas.”
“Stephanie, I’m so sorry…” She shook her head feeling badly, “Too many things happened… it seemed so long ago that we got that tree…”
“It’s alright. We can go back and spend Christmas together, then we can talk about this again.” She put her arm around her sister’s shoulder.
Irene nodded slightly.
“This is yours, take it back.” She handed Irene her staff.
Irene refused to take it, “No, I don’t want it.”
Stephanie put both staffs in her holder on her back. “Alright, let’s just go.” At that she teleported to the base followed by Irene in a maelstrom of tan fire.
Christmas came and went with no further trouble at all. Most of the rangers went about their lives as normal, forgetting temporarily their duties and concentrating on the family. Irene stayed as she had promised and had even enjoyed it. A few days after Christmas old feelings began to resurface, making her uncomfortable. She was pacing back and forth one day like a caged animal when Stephanie walked in on her.
“Irene, are you alright?”
“Now that depends on what you compare it too…”
“What is that supposed to mean?” She began to look worried, everything had gone well these last few days.
“I feel better than I have, but that hasn’t solved anything. I still need to get away.” She shook her head, “I don’t even know why I’m telling you…”
“Because I’m your sister and your best friend.”
“Yes, you’ve pointed that out several times.” Irene added a little more rudely than she had meant.
Steph looked startled, “Sorry for trying to make you feel better.”
“There’s nothing you can do.”
“And you keep telling me that. I still don’t believe it.”
“Yes, you would.” She said cryptically.
Stephanie looked hurt, “Irene, I’ve never seen you this way, it’s almost as if… I don’t know… I’m even more confused than when I was talking with Seth.”
“From all the comparisons I’ve heard, one would think Seth and I are the same person.”
“But you’re not Irene. You are similar but very different too. Seth likes to play with people’s minds and that’s all he is doing with you. You are better than him. You are a light warrior and will be for a very long time.”
Irene looked struck by her statement and looked away almost as if she were ashamed, “Was…”
“No, you are!”
“At the moment I fit neither.”
“You are one of us. And you will always be one of us no matter what those other people try and tell you. No matter what your past was. This is the present, you are Irene, fighter of good.”
Irene looked at Steph and smiled, “Now do you mean of or for on that?” It seemed as if she enjoyed twisting the meaning of her sentence.
“For it of course!” Steph began to get angry again mainly out of confusion.
“See my point now? That statement doesn’t fit me now, it had in the past, perhaps it will fit later, but not now.”
Steph stomped her foot, frustrated, “Fine, Irene do what ever you like! You always do!” She then teleported out of the room.
Irene looked shocked at the outburst from Stephanie, then she too teleported.
Stephanie appeared in the forest followed shortly by Irene. Stephanie noticed Irene and Seth and hid behind a bush. Seth was leaning against a tree sharpening his sword as Irene approached him.
“Nice to see you again. Had a pleasant few weeks?” Seth asked Irene, not looking up.
“I don’t know what you are up to but I’m tired of it.” She snapped a reply.
Seth looked up at her curiously, “I haven’t done…”
“Don’t start with me, you may be able to fool everyone else, but not me.”
He had the sharpener disappear, “So perhaps there could be something, and what do you plan to do about it?”
Irene spun kicked the sword from his hand and it landed in front of the bush Stephanie was hiding behind. She then shoved him back against the tree, “Either you stop or I’m going to be forced to silence you.”
Stephanie crawled slowly forward, grabbing the sword and hoping that she wouldn’t be noticed.
Seth looked into Irene’s eyes, “You wouldn’t…”
“Before no, now definitely.” She began to morph to cathern, but kept him pinned against the tree.
Stephanie picked the sword up and had begun to move up to them from behind the tree unnoticed by Irene and Seth.
Seth started to worry, “Maybe we could work this out…”
Irene snapped her tail blade a few inches from his face, “Not this time.”
In response Seth fired off a quick blast of his magic but Irene knocked it aside with her own.
“Nice try.” She hissed at him and raised her tail blade in the air above him. “You shall cause no one any more harm.”
As Irene brought down her tail for the final blow, Stephanie raised the sword and it connected with Irene’s blade. Seth ducked away and quickly vanished.
Irene roared in frustration and snapped her tail blade around the sword and yanked it from Stephanie’s hands.
Stephanie fell forward at the force and looked up at Irene with fear in her eyes. She knew what a cathern was capable of doing.
“Why?! You let him get away!!” Her eyes blazed a dark red.
“You would be giving into what he wanted you to do. He’s as miserable as you. He wants to die and he wants you to kill him so that you’d be stuck with the pain that you murdered him! I couldn’t let you give in.”
“What’s one more to the countless thousands.” She growled deeply but sat back on her haunches.
“A thousand and one. They all matter. One more doesn’t make it any better or worse. It’s time to move on Irene. You’re better than this.” She sat up into a sitting position. “Irene you would have hated yourself even more if you had killed him, even if he is the enemy. You’re strong, and you are better than he is.”
“I’m none of what you speak of.” Her tail flicked back and forth showing her agitation.
Stephanie eyed the tail nervously, “Yes you are… you’re my sister and the one person I admire more than anybody in the world. You are my heroine. I would lay my life on the line for you.”
Irene leaped into the air and landed a few inches from her, growling, “Stop! You’re not making it any better!”
“I don’t understand… I probably never will. But I can’t stop because I love you too much to loose you now. I’m sorry Irene but I can’t.”
She tilted her head back and howled, then turned and ran away from Stephanie.
Stephanie watched her go, tears began to flow down her cheek. “What can I do now?” She began a silent prayer.
Irene slowed down and called out, “Netrana! Rana seeve…”
*Father, please be with my sister tonight. She is very troubled and I am very worried about her. Please protect her. She is going through a lot of pain; allow her to grieve freely. She needs you now Father, keep her strong. I love her, and I don’t know what I’d do without her. I know she can get through this, she just needs a little help. So now she needs a higher power… you. Thank you. In your Son’s name, Amen.* Stephanie got to her feet and then teleported back to the command center in a purple flash.
“Netrana Rana seeve!” She called again and teleported, not caring where she ended up.
Upon arriving on an uninhabited world, Irene morphed to her cougar form and dropped to the ground.
A swirl of wind brought another cougar, her eyes showed the eons of wisdom, “My little one, hush.” Netrana moved to her and sat next to her and started to groom the top of her head like a mother cat comforting her kitten.
Irene laid silently for a while, trembling. Then she said, “I just don’t know!”
“Hush. Leave it for now. Let go of it.” The rest of the day the two would have been mistaken for normal cougars. Only Netrana’s transparent look told otherwise.
The following day, Irene opened her eyes after a full nights quiet rest. Netrana was sitting a few feet in front of her. “Now it begins.”
“What begins?”
“Your re-training and healing. Your mind is not right, between Seth’s hold and Darrin’s interference you are confused.”
She sat up stretching before responding, “What is right or wrong? It’s so jumbled to me that it’s impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible. You’ve learned it once, now you’ll learn it again.”
She sat in silence regarding this.
“Yes, right and wrong is relative, but there is absolute right and absolute wrong. You have been tricked to see things in biased views. Answer this, is killing wrong?”
“That depends, do you mean murder or self defense?”
“The act of killing.”
“No…”
“Good.” Netrana continued to drill her for the rest of the day. By the end of the day, Irene was so mentally tired that she couldn’t respond to Netrana’s questioning. “Sleep now, we’ll continue tomorrow.”
Irene dropped gratefully to the ground and was immediately asleep.
Several days into the training Netrana finally brought up the incident. “You said that you enjoyed the battle, yet you told me killing was wrong.”
“That’s just it, I don’t know why.”
“You’re confusing fact with illusions. Are you surprised to find yourself thinking in this way?”
Irene cocked her head to the side, pondering this question. “I’ve always enjoyed a good fight… but,” she stopped seemingly surprised, “that’s not right… I don’t enjoy hurting…”
This process continued as Netrana listened to Irene speak her thoughts and correct herself. Netrana only intervened when Irene was confused, but she never outright gave her the answer, that would defeat the whole purpose of the exercise.
A week into the training Netrana let Irene have a day to herself. Before leaving her Netrana spoke to her, “Rest is important my little one. If you trouble yourself over a topic too long you could undermine all your teachings.”
Irene smiled slightly, something she hadn’t done for a long time, “Now is that a hint? Are you saying I worry too much?”
Netrana laughed gently, “Many things can be applied to other than their original purpose.”
Several weeks later back at the base, Stephanie was pacing back and forth. The place was so much quieter since Irene had left. Jake had gone back home shortly after Irene vanished. He left without much conversation other than he said that he should check on things back home because it had been awhile. Stephanie knew that this wasn’t the only reason he had left. To herself she thought, *Poor Jake, he had lost her once. I just hope he hasn’t lost her again.* There hadn’t been a word from her since that day, and Steph was worrying herself sick. Stephanie spoke out loud her thoughts, “Where could she be? Why hasn’t she contacted us? I’m a nervous wreck!” She pulled her hair slightly.
Adam walked in and seeing his girlfriend a wreck he goes to her and pulls her into his arms, “Fancyface, you’re going to have a nervous break down if you don’t calm down.”
Stephanie’s only answer were the tears that began to flow.
“Shh, it’ll be alright. She will be back. It will be okay.”
“Adam what am I going to do witho…”
“Don’t say that.” He turned her around so that he could look eye to eye with her. “She will be back.”
Outside the base, a lone figure looked up at the great citadel. She allowed the site to calm her, its powerful meaning helped heal a wounded soul. Whispering, “It looks the same, but everything has changed.” As she walked closer to it she continued her monologue smiling, “So many memories, good and bad. But that is all they are; memories.” To the unseen spirit she added, “Netrana, I understand now. This is where I belong.” She ran toward her home and did a short teleport inside.
A light breeze brushed past the occupants of the base. Stephanie shivered slightly, then looked around confused, “That’s weird, I felt something cold go by me.”
Adam answered, “I know, I felt the same thing.”
A voice unfamiliar to them spoke. It was feminine and her voice was like a gentle breeze, “Now come on, you’ve been too long away, they await.”
Stephanie looked surprised and whispered to Adam, “What was that?”
Adam merely mirrored her confused look.
“Netrana, now why’d you go and break them up like that? Where are your manners?” Irene teased her spirit animal, her newly restored energy radiated from her, “Fine, fine, I’m coming.” She entered the room.
“IRENE!” Stephanie ran over to her sister and hugged her tightly. “I’ve missed you so much!”
“Little lighter… breathing is necessary.” Irene whispered to her sister.
“Oh, sorry.” Stephanie pulls away from the hug. “Better?”
“Yes. It shall be.”
Stephanie began to cry, this time tears of joy ran down her cheeks. “Good. I’m glad.” She embraces her again, this time lighter as she requested.
“I’m so sorry Steph, I should have left earlier… I pulled you into this.”
Steph looked at her seriously, “Irene, I’m your sister. I’m always going to be in the middle of it. That is because I care.”
Irene merely smiled at her.
“I will always be here for you, even if you don’t want me to. In fact, especially when you don’t want me to. I’ll hunt you down because I know deep down inside you need me.”
“I know you will. But you’ll have to understand that some things have changed. I’m not the same as I was before.” Irene noticed that Stephanie was going to object but she quickly added, “Change isn’t always bad… you can’t expect one to not change after that. As a very intelligent human put it, what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. It just took me longer to understand that.” Then she looked around the room, noticing someone was missing, “Where’s Jake?”
“He went home shortly after you left, shall I send a message to him?” Adam asked.
“Yes, please. I would go to him but I don’t have the strength to teleport.” Irene began to show the signs of exhaustion even though she tried desperately to hide them.
“Come, you need your rest. No buts about it, you are going to sleep if I have to make you.” Stephanie said sternly.
Irene smiled at her, “No arguments on that.” She allowed herself to be lead to the sleeping quarters.
Irene awoke a day later to find the base quiet. She rose from the bed and walked into the main room. “Hello?” Her voice echoed in the quiet base. After a moment of silence she became aware of a familiar sensation in her mind. Trust me kitten, its not over yet.
She looked about the room for the source, knowing full well that he could not enter, but out of habit. I agree with you on that fact alone. But the day shall come.
Indeed, indeed.