1)Always laugh when the band director makes a joke, no matter how stupid it is. A smile and a soft chuckle will do. Laugh too loud and the brass will pick you off once everyone is gone.
2)For the love of Sousa, please watch!! Seeing as though pencils, spray bottles and valve oil are easily air borne due to the incapability of passing. After all, its hard to pass things between large spaces when people's hands are full. Oh, and that person up there on the box waving their arms? Might help to watch what they do too. Never know when you get to see the rare, yet amusing, launch of the baton.
3) Cutoffs are important. Observe the cupcake (or pyramid for those unfortunate not to know what I speak of) to know when you release the note. Piccolo first, tuba last, nice and simple right?
4) Keep that faucet running, no jerking the handle. Smooth constant flow of air.
5) Breath, breath, breath. Air is important to a wind player (really now...). Fill those lungs to full capacity; there's always more room than you think. Oh, and by the way, you must fill those lungs within a space of a sixteenth note ever 15 bars. Hope you brought your air machine.
6)Respect the brass player, woodwinds. They work hard even though it never seems that way. Besides, if you ignore them long enough, they'll forget what they were doing and why they were there.
7)Brass, respect the woodwinds! They have things called 32nd note runs while you kick back with a whole note. Besides, without woodwinds to watch, what fun is emptying the spit valve?
8) Respect the drummers. Call them percussionists (they like it when you do). Seriously, the most under appreciated group and always picked on. This is because we love you and are glad you're back there working your tail off for the group. Bravo! Though it just doesn't seem to warrant your own language, culture and society... dakado pakun?
9) Respect go...er the band director. They are always right no matter what. If they aren't right, it only gives fuel to the writers of band lists and amusement for those breaks between rehearsal.
10) There is a reason for the dynamic markings. Hairpins can be the coolest things around if done well... but only in small doses or you'll get seasick.
11) Bow down before the awesome might of the forte-piano crescendo. Only the coolest bands take these seriously.
12) 4 part. The reason we exist. Also used to observe the looks of astonishment from our younger band counterparts.
13) Exercise. You'd be surprised at the results if you do these. Not only does it give you a great warmup and help reduce injury, but it also gives you the opportunity to warmup your groaning voice.
14) Woodwinds, trills are your friends. They are easy to memorize. Brass, a trill is that squiggly line above a note you see once in a blue moon. Rapid fingers now, but don't lose your count!
15) Counting up to 12 is all you ever need and letters past G aren't terribly important. Letters past G only represent markers when the song exceeds the length of the radius of the earth divided by pi.
16) I bet you didn't know many scientists were musicians at least once in their life!
17) You can fail an algebra exam but still subdivide a 7/8 bar with ease. What? You didn't know math was involved? You can't escape the power of math!
18) If you have no idea what it is, make it up, they'll never notice! That is, unless you are playing a duet with someone who knows what it is.
19) If you make a mistake, at least make it with confidence. Then never ever do it again.
20) Jazz band is the only time you can ever make a mistake. All you do is just do it a few more times like you mean to and call it an improv solo.
21) Solo as often as you can. It builds confidence and it gets you to practice your part outside of class.
22) Practice, practice, practice! The three most important words in the musical world. Also the most despised. Without it, we'd all be sight reading. Now isn't that a scary thought?
Section Truths
Flutes- Do I sound flat to you?
Clarinet- I have 15 reeds, why don't they work?
Oboe- Its the reed
Sax- So many of us that they had to make three voices common.
Bassoon- Hello, we do exist!
Horns- We have the coolest part of any song.
Trumpets- Bet you can't do this.
Trombone- Each one of us has a flying slide story.
Euphonium/Baritone- There IS a difference.
Tuba- I hate marches.
Drummers- dakada patun? Seafk mara da da du.
Low winds- Dark and chocolately, who needs tubas?
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