Q. I am working with a highly competent yet dysfunctional woman who I believe is suffering from Borderline disorder. I am concerned about actions in the workplace, and would like to know how I may be able to work better and possibly assist her with her challenges. What can I do to NOT be the target of her agression.

A. Thank you for your question.

First of all. Do you know about Borderline enough to feel that your co-worker is suffering from it? Make sure you have a good understanding before approaching her with that diagnosis name. It is not one that is understood by the general public and can come accross as sounding bad.

With that being said, and I apologize if I am assuming you don't understand BPD. I know for me, the best thing someone did was sit me down and say "listen, I don't know what is going on in your life, but I want you to know that your actions sometime _______ me." You can put whatever word in here you want....offend, hurt, anger, confuse. This will bring the conversation to an emotional level, perhaps more emotional than you want, so be aware. Most individuals want someone to care, BPD even compounds this....and it is more of an intense feeling if we know we've hurt someone. But if that trust and line of communication is opened, it may be easier for you both to function together on an everyday basis.

Smiles to you.
Jeanne