Redneck Jedi
You know you're a Redneck Jedi if....

~ Beej's tips for Flounder and the Gang ~



  • Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
  • You have used your Light Sabre to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill.
  • You think the best use of your Light Sabre is picking your teeth.
  • At least one wing of your X-wing is primer colored.
  • There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
  • You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
  • You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
  • You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
  • You think that the Stormtroopers' Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets.
  • A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
  • You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not The Force.
  • Your Master has said "My finger you will pull... hmmm?"
  • You have had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
  • You have lost a hand during a Light Sabre fight because you had to spit.
  • The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
  • Wookies are offended by your B.O.
  • You have used The Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
  • You have used The Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
  • You have used a Light Sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
  • Your father has said to you, "Shoot, son.  Come on over t' the Dark Side... it'll be a hoot."
  • You have had your R2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.



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