Your ass is never a factor in an interview.
Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
One mood, all the time.
Your orgasms are real. Always.
Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
Foreplay is optional.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
You don't have to schedule sex, vacations, exercise, etc. around your reproductive system.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
The garage is all yours.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice
anything different?"
No pantyhose.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Going shirtless in public is perfectly acceptable.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
Your last name stays put.
