1. "I'll get this round. Next one's on you."
(Happy hour is about to end, drafts are now a dollar, by the next
round they'll be $4.50 a pop.)
2. "You get this round. Next one's on me."
(We won't be here long enough to get another round.)
3. "Who's got the next round?"
(I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years because I'm an expert at
diverting attention.)
4. "What do you have on tap?"
(What's cheap?)
5. "Hey, where's that friend of yours?"
(I have no interest in talking to you, except as a way to get your
attractive friend into a compromising position.)
6. "That person looks really familiar."
(Did I sleep with him/her?)
7. "Can I just get a glass of water?" (female)
(I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.)
8. "I don't have my ID on me." (female)
(I'm 16.)
9. "I don't have my ID on me." (male)
(I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a .2 after my
last visit here.)
10. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel?" (female)
(I'm easy.)
11. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel?" (male)
(I'm gay.)
12. "Can I have a White Russian?" (female)
(I'm really easy.)
13. "Can I have a White Russian?" (male)
(I'm really gay.)
14. "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female)
(I'm willing to drink tequila if it means I get to lick you.)
15. "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
(If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the
ride home!)
16. "I don't feel well. Let's go home." (female)
(You're paying more attention to your friends than you are to me.)
17. "I don't feel well. Let's go home." (male)
(I'm horny.)
18. "Excuse me." (male to male)
(Get the hell out of the way.)
19. "Excuse me." (male to female)
(I'm going to grope you now.)
20. "Excuse me." (female to male)
(Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.)
21."Excuse me." (female to female)
(Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You're not all that pretty, missy, and don't even think for one minute that you are... coming in here, dressing like a 'ho... Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you, bitch, like the slut you are.)