Chorus: The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Is finding a Christams tree. The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Husband: Rigging up the lights, Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Inebriated man: Hangovers, Husband: Rigging up the lights, Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Frustrated man: Sending Christmas cards, Inebriated man: Hangovers, Husband: Rigging up the lights, Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Five months of bills, Frustrated man: Sending Christmas cards, Inebriated man: Hangovers, Husband: Rigging up the lights, Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Frustrated wife: Facing my in-laws, Chorus: Five months of bills, Frustrated man: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards, Inebriated man: Hangovers, Husband: Rigging up these lights, Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Angry man: The Salvation Army, Frustrated wife: Facing my in-laws, Chorus: Five months of bills, Frustrated man: Sending Christmas cards, Inebriated man: Oh, Jeez! Husband: I'm trying to rig up these lights! Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Loud kid: I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS! Angry man: Charities, And what do you mean "your in-laws"?!? Chorus: Five months of bills, Frustrated man: Oh, making out these cards, Inebriated man: Edith, get me a beer, huh? Husband: What we have no extension cords?!? Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Another frustrated man: Finding parking spaces, Loud kid: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!! Angry man: Donations! Frustrated wife: Facing my in-laws, Chorus: Five months of bills, Frustrated man: Writing out those Christmas cards, Inebriated man: Hangovers, Husband: Now why the hell are they blinking?!? Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Mother: "Batteries not included"?, Another frustrated man: No parking spaces, Loud kid: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!! Angry man: Get a job, ya bum!!! Frustrated wife (sobbing): Oh, facing my in-laws, Chorus: Five months of bills, Frustrated man: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards, Inebriated man: Oh, Jeez, look at this! Husband: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!! Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: TV Critic: Stale TV specials, Mother: "Batteries not included"?, Another frustrated man: No parking spaces, Loud kid: MOMMY I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!! Angry man: Charities!! Frustrated wife (sobbing): She's a witch! I hate her! Chorus: Five months of bills, Frustrated man: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people! Inebriated man: Oh, who's got the toilet paper? Husband: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!! Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. The twelth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: A few guys: Singing Christmas Carols, TV Critic: Stale TV specials, Mother: "Batteries not included"?, Another frustrated man: No parking? Loud kid: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Angry man: Charities! Frustrated wife: Gotta make 'em dinner! Chorus: Five months of bills, Frustrated man: I'm not sending them this year, that's it! Inebriated man: Shut up, you! Husband: FINE!! You're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!! Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.