"Man, I'm hurt," Nas said in December, days before his fifth LP, Stillmatic, hit stores. He was knee-deep in controversy over his battle with Jay-Z, and many questions were still unanswered about his career. Everything was piling up. 

"My mind goes," he continued. "It takes me on wild trips. I got a lot of issues that I deal with myself, with Nas. ... I mean, I'm cool, but sometimes I put a lot of pressure on myself — and sometimes it breaks me down, or sometimes I need little pep talks to myself — just as a man and where I wanna be in my life." 

Where Nas wanted to be was back on top. He had to prove to the world that he was the messiah, prophet and second coming, the perennial "next big thing" the fans and music critics heralded him as in 1994 with the emergence of his absorbing first album, Illmatic. Other soloists would make their presence felt later that year with their own debuts — Notorious B.I.G., Method Man, Busta Rhymes. Nas' poetic opus would act as the measuring stick. It would also cast a formidable shadow over Nas' subsequent records. 

"I've come full circle with my music," Nas said before Stillmatic's release. "I've always been hearing it from the critics: 'Nas' first album was a classic.' 'Can he do that again?' 'I don't like his [new] album.' Or, 'He went commercial' or 'pop.' People always ask me, 'Is Stillmatic gonna be like Illmatic?'  

"My answer is, when I made Illmatic, I was a little kid in Queensbridge trapped in the ghetto. My soul was trapped in the Queensbridge projects. The hip-hop media lied to me and said there was no world outside of Queensbridge: 'Stay there.' I chose to search for the truth, journey out, bring the truth back to Queensbridge, and that's my mission. That's always gonna be my mission. ... "

"Stillmatic, it's just telling you my mind state now, how it's grown," he continued, "and it is actually better than Illmatic, because it's taking hip-hop back to hip-hop, and that's everything. When Illmatic came, it did what it did, and I'm proud of that. I'm glad people can appreciate the art. With this new album, it's gonna be the same thing." 

Nastradamus, as he called himself on his last album, was right. Critics and fans hailed Stillmatic upon its release. He had another classic on his hands, almost eight years after he debuted.

"I'm real happy about the reception," he said in early February. "At first I thought people were going to turn away from it, because there wasn't no radio-friendly music on it. It was just straight-up real hip-hop underground. I thought it was going to suffer because of all the mainstream pop acts that are out, but people are waiting for the truth. People are waiting for true rhymes, tracks, beats put together for a perfect combination to take them on a [journey]. I think people got a chance to travel with the music and get into a zone."

Nas had good reason to be happy. His soon-to-be masterpiece was almost overshadowed not by the legacy of his own Illmatic, but by the controversial lyrical battle with Jay-Z that built into a December 11 song skirmish on New York radio station Hot 97. Nas' dis track "Ether" was pitted in a head-to-head battle against Jay-Z's "Super Ugly," with the most abrasive cut determined by fans' faxes and calls to the station. "Ether" won, 52 to 48 percent.

"I won by a landslide in New York, I'm good now forever," Nas gloated. "I know [Roc-A-Fella] puts out music all the time, and they're constantly doing things for radio and probably have better relationships than I have, because I'm not always out there with music," he said of the conflict. "But [winning] did surprise me, 'cause I didn't think I was gonna get the support from the radio station, but that's when I realized it wasn't about a radio station. It was about God. It wasn't about egos. It was about New York deciding on their own, and that's what happened. It's over." 

While Nas says he's stepping out of the ring, Jay-Z, on the other hand, has been hinting that he's reloading his lyrical ammo. On the title track for The Best of Both Worlds, his collaborative LP with R. Kelly, Jay rhymes, "Don't you know I eat ether and breathe acid, weak bastards?"

"I think there's a problem when certain artists feel like they control the whole game so they tell you when it starts and when it finishes," he laments. "In their mind they're still living something that's over with and it's hard to give up on it. I think a lot of people have a problem with saying they lost. Meanwhile, I'm moving on to different things. My album is more than talking about a rapper. It's about a lot of different issues that are really serious to me. 

"Everywhere I go somebody asks me about the battle," he adds. "I make sure they know this is lyrical and we're not savages and we are artists, but it is obvious - sometimes it is hard for people to deal with losses. Of course a whole team that loses to one man is gonna feel like they gotta redeem themselves forever, but unfortunately, I got other missions. Let's get past that."

"Nas is like a god," said the MC's friend Fat Joe, who was present at Hot 97 for battle day. "For years he's been educating the youth. Letting them know what's going on in society and life."

"We all love Nas," said Mary J. Blige, whose Stillmatic track with Nas, "Braveheart Party," was removed from future pressings due to what she called a "raggedy and ghetto" business matter. "We all respect Nas because of what he's saying. His album is excellent, my God!" 

Nas recorded 30 songs for Stillmatic, electing to include 16, and now unreleased gems such as "Du Rags" and "Everybody's Crazy" are surfacing on mixtapes. The MC said that new tracks as well as songs from the vaults will appear on his next three albums: Death of Escobar, Nastalgia and Nas Writes No More. Hip-hop's man of mystery hasn't been this visible in years.  

"I think God has big plans for me, 'cause I've definitely been cursed," he said. "Not by choosing a profession or being successful, but by doing something that I love that gives me so much fame when I'm the total opposite. I'm an introvert, and my father is the same way. I could do without the fame. It's a blessing sometimes. It gets you in places free and free food. I can't say it hasn't been great, but I really just wanna do the music." 

It's pursuing his passion that finds him at peace now.