MAKES ME WANNA HOLLER
We joke and we laugh
but I feel the end...
Done has been done
and sometimes been there done thats
make for not wanting to re-do's
if even for old time sake.

So this ole' soul
is gonna fall back
cuz what is
is as obvious as the fingers that type these words.
Coming off the bench
or injured reserve
makes for some long waiting
and momentary pleasure..

And no matter what your worth is
you never really get treated like
those that they respect...


I think I'm just feeling extremely sexually frustrated tonight. And I'm understanding one night stands a lot more than I once did (though I would never ever engage in such activity). Where do you go when your body is this weak? What exactly are you expected to do? Guys watch blue movies, but for me, watching that stuff just serves as a reminder to me that I am once again, not engaging in the act, and that I am just baring witness to it.

So, I'm wide awake falling into the hole of a subject that I want to avoid at all costs...I'm gonna take the low road to bed tonight..Perhaps I need to smoke an L and set my mind free, or drink myself into a stupor and just deal with the hangover tomorrow. Its better than going to sleep feeling like I do right now....

lol...

or is it?

PS...Did I mention that I am disgusted with myself? I see that certain feelings can rule who we are and make us do irrational things. Like the heart, there are other parts of our bodies that leave us feeling regretful...