07.13.2003 [11:36 PM]
How cud tha wun u luv n adore so much hurt u so bad? Why wud he do that? What did I do to deserve this? I did nothing but luv u and luv u unconditionally n u went n stabbed me in tha back. If u cud only feel tha pain u caused me. U inflicted pain on me more worse den ne physical pain I have endured in my life. Tha wound u created can never be healed n if it does there will be a scar. A scar that will remain forever. A scar that is constant reminder of tha mental, physical n emotional trauma u put me thru. Can things ever be tha same between us? Can I fully forgive u n give u second chance? Can I ever luv u like I once did? I dunno…
07.17.2003 [9:48 PM]
Tha past few days I can’t think of nething but u. Not cause I luv u n miss u but cause I hate u. I want u back by my side but thinking bout u breaks my heart into a million pieces. But at the same time I feel so empty and lost witout u. So incomplete. Everyday I pray that I cud turn back time so I wudn’t have to live thru this nightmare but as each day passes I realize that it isn’t a dream. It is reality. A reality that I dun wanna face. I dun even wanna think of life witout u but then every time I think bout u I wish u wud jus die. I can’t live u but I can’t live without u. I’m so confused…
07.24.2003 [12:29 AM]
Thx u god for giving me tha strength I need to face this. I’m soooo happy I have u back. I feel complete again. Even tho u put me thru hell tha lass few weeks I forgive u from the bottom of my heart. But u broke my truss so u gotta earn it back I didn’t mean it when I said I hated u or that I wish u wud die, I was jus really angry at u. I’m sorry. There is no way of changing the past but there is also no way of hiding the way I feel bout u. I can’t live the rest of my life pretending I dun luv u when I kno in my heart that u r my everyting. Everyone has a purpose in their life and right now my purpose is to luv u. My life wud be incomplete wit out u. Let everything that happened in the past stay in the past and start again.
07.24.2003 [11:56 PM]
Tuhday was soooooooo much fun. It was the most fun I’ve had in 2 weeks. Jus u n me. Age n Rbk. Today, I remembered why I luv u so much and why I fell in luv wit u in the first place. Cause u make me feel wat no one else can and u do wat no one else does for me. For the first time in 2 weeks I remembered wat it really felt like to be Adrian Cheddie’s gf and now I realized how much I missed being ur gf. I never realized how much I missed u till u weren’t there. Never again do I wanna be witout u. I luv u Age!
08.16.2003 [9:31 PM]
Goin’ on vacation tomorrow. I dun really wanna go. I’m gonna miss Zaven’s party. Damn. I’m gonna miss Adrian’s birthday too. Funny how Zaven n Adrian have tha same bday. Haha my best friend n my bf. I styll gotta get dem a present. Wht tha hell do those boiz want? I know at that boi wants. Zaven?? Yuh rass tell me!! Neways , I’m out gotta go pack.
08.24.2003 [3:27 PM]
So good to be home. I missed Zaven’s party. WHT?!?! So now Hrag tells me I cud have came cause it ended at 3 am. Damnit to hell. Ah well. I styll need to buy Zaven n Adrian a present. LoL. Zaven, wht u want? Age, u dun have to tell me. I KNO wht u want. LoL. I’m ADDICTED to Linkin Park now. I can’t listen to nething else. OMG. Rob is a sexy motherfucker. Hehe…
09.09.2003 [8:29 PM]
Why do boys bring drama into your life when you clearly dun need ne more? I dunno wat to do. I’m so lost and confused. Why did u have to tell me that? U kno I can’t do it. Even if I cud I wudn’t. Hold on. If I cud wud I? I dunno. I might. We’ve tried and it didn’t work the first time so make u think its gonna work the second time? And YOU! OMG, wht am I gonna do with YOU? Sud I tell u? Wud u be mad? Wht the hell am I saying, of course u’ll be madd. Y are boys so difficult? And they say gurls r difficult. Geez. Boyz!
09.12.2003 [6:32 PM]
Y DID U COME?!?!?! Fuck...I’m so pissed. I can’t do it and you know I can’t but u styll want me to do it. That pisses that shit out of me. Y don’t u understand? Things can’t be what they used to be and u can’t make them the way they were b4. I’ve changed, you’ve changed and we changed. Everyting changed. It can’t be the way it used to be and even if it cud I wudn’t want it too. I luv where I am now even if I’m not with u. I’m sorry but that’s the way life is. But no matter wat I’ll styll luv u. No one can take the time we were together away from us. The memories will last forever. We both r in 2 different places in our lives and it jus wudn’t work. We gotta move on…
9.26.2003 [8:34 PM]
HOW SICK CAN HE BE TO MISS BASKETBALL?!?!?!?! IT FUCKING BASKETBALL!!!!! OMG!!!! GREG DUN DIE ON ME!!!!!!!!!! He’s in the friggin’ hospital. Geez. Bai, yuh best not die on me. Wait…I dun even kno y yuh in tha hospital. LoL. I miss mah bwoi. *cries* Get betta soon.
9.30.2003 [7:45 PM]
Awwww…Tristian, ur soo adorable. “He goes to Fraiser” Haha. Ur too cute. U better come down n visit me and teach me how tah do that sick ass 360 dunk yuh do. Yo, we need tah do our windmill double team. LoL. Aside from almost being decapitated by Trisitan, today was a great day. We RAPED Bethune in Basketball. It was like 36 – 15. It was like 30 – 0 after the first half. I’m so mad cause we cudn’t score in the second half. Ada kept pissin me off. Haha. Nuff luv gyal. Now I know Greg was in the hospital cause he complained his chest and stomach hurt. Awww, poor baby. But he does have a nice chest and stomach tho. Hehe. Aiight..imma stop b4 I get myself into trouble. Hehe…
10.06.2003 [9:56 PM]
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some ppl r jus jokers. OMG, I can’t stop laff. Iz toooo funny. Allz I gots tah say is that some of ya’ll nexx gyal r sum jokerz fo real. Yuh soooo stupid. Where yuh tryna reach by telling my man dat?? How did u even come up wit dat ridiculous idea?? Telling my man that he sudn’t deal wit me cause I’m not guyanese and tht he sud deal wit yuh cause ur guyanese?? WTF?!?! Wat were yuh tryna accomplish wit that?? AND yuh think my man won’t tell me?? LMAO!!! I have come to a conclusion: I hate all people who are named Shelley. Meh nah care if yuh spell it differently, if yuh name Shelley, dis gyal dun like yuh.
10.16.2003 [6:45 PM]
OMG!!!!! I can’t lyk u dats not right….*cries* SHYT!!!!!! Neways on a lighter note…I had a great day at leadership camp!!!! So jokes!!! So tired!!!!!! Jamie, ur a sweetie thx fo piggybacking me. Haha. Joey’s a pussy. I’m kiddin. I can’t believe ur scared of heights but we make a good team. LoL. YES!! Me n Andre! Tha 30 ft wall. Holla baby!! We killed it. Doops n Eman. OMG!! Eman, WHT A JOKER FO REAL. Roflmao!!! “NO NO I wanna come down. MOMMY!!!” Too funny. Wht a crazy ass day!!! Game 7: Yankees n Red Sox!! Yankees all tha way. Tha Sox r going home, Tha Yanks r going to FL!!
10.17.2003 [1:02 AM]
NEW YORK YANKEES R CLUTCH!!!!!!! WHT A RUN BY AARON BOONE!!! YANKEES GOIN TO THA WORLD SERIES!!!! BOSTON’S GOING HOME!!! LOL!!!! I’m gonna be rich tomorrow. Haha. NEVER doubt tha Yankees. AGE!! I saw that run aiight?? Stop callin. LMAO!!!
10.25:2003 [11:36 PM]
No fucking talk to me for the nexx 3 days I will cuss u off and kick ur ass so bad u will never be able to sit down again. Tha fuckin Marlins won the fuckin World Series? What the fuck!!! How?!?! It’s the New York Yankees. Fuckin Beckett and his fuckin team. FUCK!!!! I cud kick Beckette’s ass but in all fairness he DID pitch a good game. I’ll give him that. FUCK!!!!! But I can’t forgive him for taking tha Championship away from my Yankees. Theres always nexx yr. Tha New York Yankees Will Prevail.
11.06.2003 [6:14 PM]
WHT A CRAZY ASS DAY!!!!!! How can u plan to blaze n not bring the weed? LMAO!!! Jamie’s such a joker. 30 mins to get money for the weed. 10 mins to get to fairview 1hr n a half to find someone with tha weed. 30 mins to buy zigzags. 5 mins to find someone to roll it. 15 mins to get dem to roll it. 10 mins to smoke it. LMAO. Dat was toooo jokes. Spend tha whole afternoon tryna find weed and I didn’t even get to watch sm3. HAHA!! “Lets go sample some Axe. Jamie, which one smells the best??”
It was the Axe Sprayfest 2003. We gotta do that again but nexx time we r gonna get tha weed b4 tha day. Jamie, U were SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO out!!!! Geez.
11.27.2003 [10:29 PM]
Y dun yuh ever learn?!?! Y yuh always gotta put me thru shit like dis?!?! Y do I gotta get upset every time something like dis happens?!?! Y do I cry every time they say sumting lyk tht?!?! Y is it always me who seems to care more bout wht happened to yuh den yuh do?!?! FUCK!!!! Look at where all yuh shit got yuh. Now they gon send yuh rass tah boot camp or tha fucking army. Y dun u listen?!?! It for yuh own good. U can’t even see when ppl r tryna help yuh rass from failing life. They aren’t there to make ur life miserable, they jus luv yuh and they dun want to see u suffer. Y can’t u see tht?!?! Yuh used to be such a good sweet kid. Wht happened?!?! Y tha hell do I care?!?! Yuh not mah child n I have no control over yuh. But by the looks of it no one does. I jus pray to God tht yuh get some sense in yuh head b4 something bad happens tah yuh and change all dis shit yuh doin. Yuh 18 n yuh tink yuh a big bai but yuh styll act like a child. As much as I dun want dem tah send yuh tah boot camp or tha army, in my heart I kno its tha best fo yuh. I jus hope they can do wht everyone else tried tah do but is failing at. I really hope so fah yuh sake. To make tingz worse yuh smoking naw. Y?!?! As if yuh dun have enuff drama in yuh life. Elliott, PLZ jus listen n stop doing all dis shit yuh doing…
11.29.2003 [1:19 AM]
Wut u sayin?!?! Burlington Tournament was crazy styll!!! Kory=Sauce!!! Big up, Stix!! Today was tooooooooooo jokes!!!!!! Ya’ll a bunch of jokers fo real!!! Travis, ur too cute. U n me run tha bench!!! Sleepin’ buddies!! Ye!! Dun even get ne ideas. LoL. Muky, U mah boy fo sho!! Walking wit yuh was too funny. Samson, yuh really too sweet. How many ankles did yuh break?!?! Omar yuh loud ass mother fucker. U n me run dem tingz yuh heard!!! U too cute when yuh sleepin buh nexx time watch where u put ur feet. Haha!! Shhhhhh!!!! No telling ne one bout u kno wht!!! Haha!! Troy!!! My hero!!! Wht a sick ass buzzer beater!! LoL. We had our moments. Yuh kno!!! Nexx time fo sho!! Will, I’m soo sorry I pissed u off soo much…haha yuh kno I got nuffin but luv fo yuh. Jr Team stand up ya’ll did great!!! Wht a 2nd game!!! By one point on OT!! Wurd! Kory its aiight. Yuh styll laid tha sauce in their faces!! Good job guys!! I’m so proud of all of u!!!! It going down on Monday at Lam fo sho!!!
1.2.200 [2:47 PM]
WTF?? Wht tha fuck is fucking wrong wit yuh rass?!?! I dun fucking understand yuh. How cud u do tht to me AGAIN!?!?!?! After u promised u wudn’t do it again if I gave u a second chance. How stupid can yuh be tah tink I’d cheat on u?!?! Man use yuh head!! Okay fine. If yuh dumb rass tink I was cheat in on yuh dumb rass den y didn’t yuh dumb rass come and ask me if I was cheatin on yuh dumb rass, yuh dumb rass??? NO!! Instead of askin meh, yuh dumb rass goes n cheats on meh. Now, I found out n kno yuh dumb rass is in trouble AGAIN!!! How tha fuck can u believe ur friend ova yuh gurl?!?! If u thought I was cheatin on yuh den yuh sudda said sumting, not go cheat on me AGAIN!! Tha funniest part of dis is tht yuh boy told I was cheat on u wit Troy. LoL. Dats funny. Aiight. Fyne. Sumting did happen between me n Troy in Burlington. Ye. I gave him a massage. We did chill wit each other tha whole nite. I did sleep in his arms only cause he came and sat behind me. Aiight? Yuh happy now?!?! No?!?! GOSH DAMN!! Ye, I was a lil attracted to Troy. There I fucking admitted it. I had a fucking crush on Troy. Troy is hot. Yeah me n him talk in school and we chill together. Ye we were suppose to see a movie together but we canceled it cause it was too hectic. Ye me n Troy flirt sometimes. Dun even get on my case fo tht. I dun even wanna get started on yuh fuckin bitches. In conclusion, NUFFIN fucking happened between me n Troy. I can sorta understand y yuh wud wanna get back at me fo “cheatin” on yuh but nexx time dun act stupid b4 yuh ask yuh gurl if tht rumour tht yuh heard bout her n her “nexx man” from yuh boy who dunno me is tru. N when yuh gurl proves yuh wrong dun act like a fuckin asshole. But den again I might not be yuh gurl ne more cuz fo tha past month yuh been a total asshole. Yuh kno I dun stand to neone who tries n dictates my fucking life. I have a brain n I kno how to fucking use it. SO…y yuh tryna dictate my life for me? Yuh ain’t mah father and I aint yuh daughter. Its my life and Imma live it tha way I want. Jus cuase yuh my man dun give u tha fuckin right to tell me not do to sumting. Dun tell me not to do sumting jus cuz yuh rass say so. WTF! I’m not yuh fuckin piece of property tht yuh show off and disrespect when no one is looking. Yuh kno I’ve put up wit a lot of bullshit in dis relationship all cause I luv u so much. But sumtimes a person has to wonder is luv tha only ting tht is important in a relationship. Does luv really conquer all? Maybe yuh jus a test God has decide to put me thru to help me learn wht tru luv is. Maybe everyting I thought I knew bout luv is nuffin compare to wht I dunno bout luv. Maybe yuh r there to show me everyting luv has to offer including the heartbreak. Every person in yuh lyfe has a reason fo being in yuh life, some obvious, some not so obvious. Maybe this is yuh reason fo being in mah lyfe, to teach me bout luv and all its different faces. Sumtimes the lessons we learn in life can be hard and even painful to learn but if God put yuh thru it, God will bring yuh thru it…
|
