You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You kiss you girlfriend's home page.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your eyeglasses have a web site burned into them.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap....and your kid in the overhead compartment.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3...
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - your night dreams are in HTML.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You turn your modem off and get this awful epmty feeling, like you just pulled the plug of your loved one.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au"
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your heart races faster and beats irredgularly each time you see a new WWW site address printed on the TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You step out of the room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have any idea when it happened.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You turn on the intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if e-mail arrives.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You wife drapes a blond wig over the monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - All of your friends have an @ in their names.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted purple.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your dog has its own webpage.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You've visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos. or [C]ontinue?
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You can't call your mother because she doesn't have a modem.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You believe nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts illuminated by a 17" svga monitor.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You check your mail. It says "no new Messages." So you check it again.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You refer to you age as 3.x.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your phonebill comes to the door in a box.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC Channel.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You code your homework in HTML and give your intsructor the URL.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You don't know what sex is over three of your closeset friends are, because they have nuetral nick names and you never bothered to ask.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your husband tells you he's had the beard for two months
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games form Apogee.t, or [C]ontinue.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You move into a new house and decide to netscape before you landscape.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You tell the cab driver you live at Http://123.elm.street/hose/bluetrim/html
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your virtual girlfriend finds a new sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You buy a Captain Kirk Chair with a built in keyboard and mouse.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer can not come to bed"
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You are so familiar with the WWW that you find search engines useless.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher."
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You never have to deal with the busy signal when calling your ISP...because you never log off.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while youre pretending to catch your breath.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You ask a plumber how much it would cost you to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You forget what year it is.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You ask a doctor to implant a gig in your brain.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind ... the perfect soundtrack to "surfing the net"
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited"
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
You Know You're Addicted to the Internet When - As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.