Past articles from 3/8/03
RPNN Behind the Tube: Alf.
(By, Paul Mann: Editor and Weirdo)
Welcome back Couch potatoes, it's time for another RPNN Behind the Tube.
This week we take a particularly close look at one of our favorite extraterrestrial
related TV shows, Alf. We did a short interview recently and were able
to explore and answer questions as usual, this time with our furry cat-eating
friend.
Paul: Welcome Mr. Alftosky Winooski III.
Alf: Just Alf please.
P: Fair enough Alf. Personally it's great to be interviewing such a great
and influential TV entity such as your self. I really loved your show
growing up.
A: Thank you Mr. Paul. Always good to see young people getting interested
in the media field.
P: Introductions aside I'd like to ask you a few questions regarding you
and your show.
A: Ready when you are.
P: Ok, first off, what is the real story behind the obsession with cats.
A: Oh you mean that line of garbage? Look I'm going to set it strait right
now I really never liked eating cats. It was a bad joke that the producer
never dropped.
P: Really? I thought that it was a custom on your home planet. In fact
CNN gave me the pamphlets showing 30 ways to roast a cat.
A: All staged. The President of CNN was a close college buddy of the creator
of the show. It was what drove the show to an early end.
P: Terrible secrets we discover about what we loved. All right Next Topic,
What of the nosey neighbor next door? I've always wondered where she got
her inspiration to be that good.
A: Oh her? Geeze I thought everyone knew. We never actually hired her.
We shot in a real live neighborhood and we just picked the right spot.
We got our nosey neighbor for free.
P: Wow. And here I was thinking she was the next Ethel Mertz. Did this
ever cause any trouble? I mean outside the show.
A: Well we did have one incident. It actually almost went to court. You
see we were rehearsing before the show one afternoon and our nosey neighbor
got to close to the fence, decided to lean too close and it fell on her.
P: Oh, that's interesting. Was she hurt?
A: Nah, she just suffered from a few scrapes and bruises and we later
convinced her that it was all a dream.
P: Well I'm glad it went all right. Next I'd like to know the story behind
the movie series. Why was there only one?
A: It's all quite simple really. The first movie was a last ditch effort
to pull in a few extra bucks before the show was dropped. By the time
the movie came out the networks were tiring of our show and wanted us
gone. We made the movie to make sure they didn't screw us out of all of
our money.
P: Shocking, I just thought you were waiting for the right time to make
a sequel.
A: We would have loved to make more movies and more episodes but thems
the breaks.
P: Well I have one last Question. What is the future of Alf? Talk show,
new show?
A: We were thinking about doing a bit on semese street but……
P: What's that under your chair.
A: What's what?
P: I see something moving under your chair.
A: I don't know what your talking about. There's no movement.
P: There's a small man under you….wait it can't be. No I won't believe
it.
Man under Alf: That's right buddy Alf's a puppet. I'm out of here. This
has gotten too weird.
P: NO!!!!!
Unfortunately I found out more truth than I wanted that day. What I thought
was a real thing was just another false moment shattering my world. Alf
had lead millions of children to believe in him and ended up being just
another man behind the puppet. The underworld is a creepy place and those
who control it are the real puppet masters.
Joel's Moment: Movie Review on Kangaroo Jack.
By, Joel Simmons.
Well I recently saw the movie "kangaroo Jack" and I had some
mixed opinions about it. There are some rather advanced themes in it for
a childs movie for instance, the reason the 2 stupid guys have 50000 dollars
is because they are working for the white guys dad. This dad happens to
be the most respected mob leader in the city they live in. So when the
black guy brings the police to their stockpile on accident, the mission
is the only way they can live to tell the tale. So they later find out
that the money is for their own deaths and the man they are taking it
to is planning to kill them. So naturally they manage to find a lovely
woman to save them from their impending doom only to find the white guys
brother (who is also a Mafioso) waiting for them. But out of the darkness
comes the rasta tour guide who they soon find out is a cop and arrests
him and they all live happily ever after. But honestly, did you know what
the mafia was when you were 8? I didn't.
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