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Past articles from 2/24/04
RPNN Behind the Tube: Hong Kong Fooey
By, Paul Mann (Editor and Weirdo)
Welcome back cable jockeys. No the FCC hasn’t shut us down, so we are
back once again to bring yet another possibly bizarre and shocking moment,
that will reveal the hidden info on yet another star of the tube. This
week we travel to downtown Atlanta, Georgia where we will interview our
latest star, a number one super guy, Hong Kong Fooey.
Paul: Good evening and welcome Mr. Fooey. First of all it’s great to
meet the character that introduced the humorous side of martial arts.
Hong K. Fooey: Pleasure to be here my main man. Slap me some skin brutha.
P: Right back at ya. (Gives H.K. a high five.)
HKF: All right!
P: Hehe, good to have a guest who’s laid back. Now if you are ready I’d
like to ask you a few questions about yourself and your character.
HKF: Proceed by all means.
P: Yes, now first of all the first thing that I know several of your fans
would like to know is where did you come up with the idea to become Hong
Kong Fooey?
HKF: Well it all began when I was a pup when my mother sent me to Japan
to live with my uncle Lon Bong Fooey. Ya see my family was poor and couldn’t
raise me the best way, so they decided my uncle could do better.
Paul: Fascinating, So you actually spent a great deal of time in the land
of the rising sun?
HKF: Where else could I get these kicking threads and super tough skills?
Paul: Yes that makes sense. Yet I thought Kung Fu was more of a Chinese
martial art. Being that you have mastery in the art how did you learn
it so well in Japan?
HKF: My uncle originally came from china, but moved to Japan to seek his
fortune as a teenager.
P: Fair enough. So you would say your uncle had a great deal of influence
in your life?
HKF: Oh sure, of course he was more of the jokester in the family. My
aunt Singa Songa Foome was the one who taught me the skills I know today.
P: Well even though I’m sure the world would love to hear more about your
childhood, I’m afraid we must move onto the next topic. Another thing
I’d like to know is what can you tell me about your sidekick cat. **Fooey
reaches into his jacket and pops something from it into his mouth**
HKF: Oh that scene stealing fur ball? Heck he never did anything **pops
another object into his mouth** good for the show.
P: Really? I rather found him an essential element. In fact most believe
he was what resulted in a successful mission.
HKF: Nah, He was just along because the head execs felt it would ease
the **pops yet again and object into his mouth** feline racial tensions
at the time.
P: Mr. Fooey, what in the world are you popping into your mouth?
HKF: Eh? Pop? I don’t know what you are talking about? **Does it again**
P: That. You just put something into your mouth.
HKF: You ok kid? I don’t understand where you are coming from.
P: Now I…never mind. Let’s move on. Now what can you tell me about the
magical gong that you carried around?
HKF: Bong?
P: No, Gong. You know the little device you hit and it changed your car
into different objects.
HKF: Nah I don’t smoke that stuff anymore.
P: Gong, Mr. Fooey, not bong.
HKF: What’s a gong?
P: Come now, it’s that circular piece of medal that you used to transform
your vehicle into things like boats, helicopters etc.
HKF: Transform? You sure you haven’t been hitting on the bong?
P: H.K. I do not do illegal substances. Can you please just answer the
…**Fooey once again pops something into his mouth** and stop doing that!
**Grabs the bag from Mr. Fooey and tosses it in the garbage**
HKF: Hey those are hard to come by….what is your problem man? Say you
want some green stuff? **Pulls out another baggie**
P: What are you trying to do here?! **Grabs bag and tosses it out the
window** Get us arrested?!
HKF: Hey man, you are the one talking about taking hits in the gong and
talking to an animated dog.
P: That’s a bong you idiot. You smoke a bong and you the gong.
HKF: And they call me an expert downtown.
P: Look are you just going to waste my time or are you going to answer
my questions?
HKF: Alright, Alright kid. What did you want to know?
P: What is the secret behind the gong that changed your car into different
items?
HKF: I dunno know, I figured I was just tripping at the time …….say…my
hands they are so huge!
P: What?
HKF: My hands…they like have five fingers…..and nails….
P: Mr. Fooey? What is going on?
HKF: The world is like a…wow I never knew you had a nose on your forehead….
P: What the heck was in that bag? Fooey?
HKF: Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!! I’m a super doggy!!!
P: Security!
As it turns out Mr. Fooey, Phooey Phoobie or however you spell his name
is not the great cartoon influence he once was. Perhaps the 70s were such
a turbulent time for Mr. Fooey that he attempted to find any means of
mental escape, even drugs. I cannot guess how long he’s been in this turmoil,
but perhaps after a few weeks at rehab or several beatings with a wet
noodle, we can have all our questions answered. Until next time take care,
enjoy the tube while you can and RPNN Behind the Tube will back before
you know it.
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