Well, Liz gave me this idea of a journal. I didn't want to do it but Max agrees with Liz and now I have to. God. I don't want to write some shitty stuff. I'm not a journal writting guy. I'm a bad ass. I don't write down my feelings. I keep them locked up inside me. Well, thanks to Max's girlfriend I gotta! "IF YOU HAD A JOURNAL TO PUT ALL YOUR FEELINGS IN, MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T ACT LIKE THE JERK YOU ARE!" Liz said. What does she know? I'm the one who risks my life most of the time! I'm not the one with the anger problem! That's Maria. I don't know why I'm with her. She just bugs me most of the time. Frankly, I'd rather go out with Liz.

So. Here I am. In my room, writing. I don't see the purpose in this. Well, the good thing now is Max, Isabel, and Tess has to do it too. So I'm not alone. Tess's journal is most likely going to be filled with stuff like "Max is so hot" and "I love Max". A lot of shit if you ask me. I wonder, am I supposed to write Dear Journal? Why am I writing this crap? Max says I gotta write two paragraphs. Well I did, so I'm stopping. Bye.


~*~Crashdown~*~
"So, how's the journalizing going?" Maria asked.
"It's a bunch of crap. I hate it," I said. Why was Maria asking me this shit? She knows how I feel about journalizing. What is the point? Ah, now little Miss Princess decides to show up for work.
"Sorry I'm late dad," Liz said as she walked into the kitchen.
"Late again Parker?" I said.
"I have a first name you know," she said as she walked up to Maria and me.
"Do you got the alien picture?" Maria asked.
"Yup. I got one of Michael in his human and alien form."
"Hey, don't make fun of my baby. Ok, I gotta go. See ya later." Maria got on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. I hate when she does that. It's so goddamn annoying. I think I'm going to break up with her. I want out.
"Bye Maria," Liz said. She then turned to me. "Now it's off to the world of waiting on people obsessed with aliens. Yippee."
"Hope ya have fun," I said. Why did I say that? It just popped out. I got back to cooking.

~*~Later~*~
"Good night Liz. You can lock up right?" Nancy said.
"Yup. Night. God. I'm beat. Michael, you still here?" Liz called. I was in the back talking to Maria at the time.
"Michael, I think it's time to go our separate ways," Maria said.
"We're breakin up aren't we?"
"Well, in simple terms, yup."
"Ok Fine."
"You're not going to put up a fight?"
"No. I'm not. You can go now."
"MICHAEL. ARE YOU HERE?" Liz called.
"YEAH. HOLD ON." I called back.
"Ok than. I'll see you later." Maria left. Why didn't I fight her? Yeah I said I wanted to break up but I didn't think she felt the same way. Why didn't I fight? Am I tired? I don't know. Liz walked into the kitchen. Being mad at myself, I punched the wall causing a whole. When I pulled my hand back out, it was bleeding.
"Here, run it under the water. I'll be right back with bandages," Liz said while turning on the water. I did as she told me.
"Liz, I can heal it."
"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that." Liz watched me as I healed my hand. I helped Liz lock up and than went home.


Dear Journal thing,
So. Maria broke up with me. I thought I was supposed to break up with here. Ok. Top Five break ups in chronological order.
1. Ashley
2. Mary
3. Anna
4. Carry
5. Sara
Look Maria. Your name does not come up on that list does it? Maybe you're in the top ten but not in the top five. If you really wanted to screw me up, ya should have gotten to me earlier! So. Number one. Ashley. I don't remember any of these girls' last names. Well. Seventh grade. Girls had just developed them us guys were fascinated with them. So my relationship with her lasted three hours. Three days, right after school. Fourth day, she's making out with Kyle. Maybe that's one of the reasons I don't really like Kyle. Well, all my other break ups are kinda like that. All mixed up.


~*~My Appartment~*~
I heard a knock on the door. I had just woken up too. "WHAT," I screamed at the door. I heard another knock on the door. I grabbed my shirt and put it on. I went to the door and opened it. There was Max and Liz. "Come in. You don't mind if I eat my breakfast do you?"
"Michael. It's two," Liz stated.
"So. Why does that matter?" I pulled out a bowl and poured my cereal in it.
"It's journal check up time," Max stated.
"I thought journals were private." I picked my journal up and thrusted it at him. He caught it.
"Maria broke up with you?" Liz said surprised. "Well, that would explain why I saw her kissing Kyle last night."
"She was kissing Kyle. Dammit!" I hit the table.
"I guess this isn't a good time. C'mon Liz. Let's go."
"No. I just want to talk to him alone for a while."
"Ok. See ya later," Max said giving Liz a little kiss. I was pissed off. Maria kissed Kyle last night? She must have done it after we broke up. Why would she want to kiss Kyle?
"Michael. I gotta problem. I have to break up with Max."
"Gee Liz. I thought you were smart. Why would you give up a great realtionship like that one you got goin on?"
"You think I want to break up with him? I don't want to but I have to!" Liz bursted into tears. She was hiding something from me. I could feel it.
"What do you mean you don't want to but you have to?"
"Max from the future told me I had to. He said the world would end if I didn't. He said I had to push him towards Tess. But I don't want to."
"Well. What were you planning on doing?"
"I don't know. I thought that if he saw me in bed with Kyle he might of thought that I...."
"That you did it with him?"
"Yeah. But I couldn't do that to him. I love him to much."
"Alright. Come here. Sit on the couch. First step. You gotta stop crying." I sat down on the couch with her. She buried he head in my shirt. I was ran my hand through her hair. Rocking her back and forth. "Ok, listen. I'm going to help you with this. I know you're only doing this to protect everyone. Ok. Listen..."


Dear Journal,
Well, I didn't write in ya yesterday because of Liz. I can understand that she didn't want to but had to. Max was devastated but if he only knew why she did it. Oh well. He'll get over it. He always does. Liz is here. She's asleep, right next to me. Is this bad? I mean, I'm the one that's supposed to comfort and protect everyone that knows I'm an alien right? She cried a day. Well basically. All today, Max treated her like she was nothing. I wanted to pinch out his eyes and make him see the truth. Even if I did tell the truth, he'd just blow up in my face. Maria has been a real bitch too. Isabel is on Liz's side. But that's because Max won't let her go to college. Tess is on Max's of course. But this is good for her right? I mean in the end, se and Max might get together Liz and Max are gone. What they had was so special, and Liz did what she had to do. If she didn't, I'd most likely be dead in the future. I owe my life to her. So does everyone else.

Ok. Number two. Mary. I was 16. Mary was nice.. She was s nice that she wouldn't let me put my hand on top of her bra, let alone under it. Well. To me, a guy, it didn't go anywhere. So she was no use to me. Four days after the break up, Kyle said he had sex with her on the second date! I mean what the hell! Am I bad at making out or something? You know. Kyle has been with all the girls I have been with! Doesn't this seem fucking wrong? The tiny bitched assed bastard. Ok calming down. I so not fucking calming down. What is it that Kyle has that I don't? This is begging to bring me down a lot. Do they think I'm not fully endowed? Well yeah sure, I think it's a little small but most guys do it's a typical guy thing. I'm sure Max does it too! Oh well. Now, there's just a little question I have to ask Kyle.

~*~Later~*~
Liz stirred as she awoke. She looked beautiful for a girl that's been crying al day. I mean, she looked so nice and peaceful when she slept, but now. All I can say is wow! "Good Morning Parker Did you have a nice sleep?" I said sitting up with a newspaper in hand. She looked at me and smiled. It was the first time I had seen her smile in a long time.
"You know, I just had the weirdest dream. It was actually nice." She sat up in the bed too. I put my paper down on the stand next to me bed.
"What was this weird dream about?" I asked. Did she dream about me? It was probably Max.
"Are you sure you want to know?" I nodded my head as to say yes. "Ok. Well I dreamt that we were together and well we, you know."
"Well" I said in a sort of squeaky voice. I cleared my throat. "Well, sounds like a nice dream. Did I have well."
"Yes you had a nice one."
"Was I any good?"
"Good is an understatement."
"Weird cause in my dreams. I'm really inadequate. In both departments." Liz laughed. Was she moving on? I mean, I know it must still hurt her, but she just had a dream that we were together. I don't know.

~*~Crashdown~*~
"So Michael, did Liz tell you about her dream?" Isabel asked. I smiled.
"Why yes. She told me about it this morning." I said smiling. Isabel looked at Liz who was looking at me. I looked at Liz. Was I falling in love with her? Well, if I was that would be a big problem. Max had a scowl upon his face. He seemed to have a look of disgust in his eyes as he watched Liz and me. Well Liz caught him staring at her. She got up and walked into the kitchen. "God Max, what is your problem?"
"What's my problem. She goes behind my back, and now she's flirting with you. Really Michael. You've become blind."
"Max, you owe her your goddamn life."
"What do you mean."
"Put the two together smartass." I walked into the kitchen leaving everyone speechless. I walked up to Liz and put my arms around her. "It will be ok. He will get over it. You saved his life that night. Don't you ever forget that." I whispered into her ears.
"Ok." She turned to face me. "I'm glad at least I have someone to depend on." She hugged me. I felt warm. My arms tightened around her. My heart beated fast.
"Hey, anyone wanna play Friends Trivia?" We heard Alex say. Always leave it up to Alex to try to make everyone smile. "Isabel is very lucky to have a guy like Alex," Liz said smiling. "C'mon." I took her hand in mine. We walked back into the room. "Well Alex. Get that game out. It's about time we had some fun!"
"Alright Captain!" Alex said pulling out the game.


Dear Journal,
Hey again. We played the trivia game for a while. Max loosened up luckily. Maxwell can be such an asshole sometimes. Really, he is so selfish. I'm glad Liz is not with him anymore. How could she love someone like him? Ok. I guess I'm developing a crush on her. I mean I've had a crush on her since the 3rd grade, but that's beside the point. Ok. I'm sweating. She's in my bathroom, in my shower. I'm going crazy! I mean, it's hard with Max dropping by every five seconds. Now I got Liz hear. I'm falling for her. All I think about is her. When I'm with her, the room gets really hot. Then when she's gone, the temperature drops dramatically! I haven't taken anything if that's what you think. No way. I don't do that shit.

Ok. Number three. Anna. Anna was gorgeous. I thought she would be the one. I was 16. She was very talkative, very hott. I fell for her hard. So, she was an artist. She hung out with a lot of guys. I was always afraid that she'd leave me for one of them. Well, she did. It was raining hard. I was outside her apartment. I screamed at her window. When she came to the window, she just had a sheet on, then I saw him. He pulled her back. I never really got over Anna. Well, I guess I did. Cause now I'm crazy for Liz. Elizabeth Parker. If she ever read this, I don't know what I'd do.

~*~After entry~*~
I put the journal down. What am I going to do? The water was just turned off. So, she'll be walking out here in a towel, going through my droors to find a shirt. She just walked in. I watched do as I thought. She pulled out a Green Day shirt and put it on. The she pulled out one of my boxers and slipped them on. "Thanks for letting me use your shower. I'll wash these and give them back to you later," Liz said. I was to busy paying attention to her body.
"What, Oh yeah. So what do you want to do?" I said regaining my concisnous.
"I dunno, what do you want to do?" Liz said as she sat down beside me on the bed.
"I..." I said in a squeaky voice yet again. I cleared my voice "I don't care." I could feel my sweat running down my face.
"Michael, are you ok? You're sweating." She placed her hand on my forehead "Michael, your burning up. Are you feeling ok."
"Yeah. I'm fine. Um, want to see a movie?"
"No Michael. We're not going anywhere. You are going to stay in bed and I'm going to make you some soup and take care of you." Liz pulled the covers over me. She walked into the kitchen. About fifteen minutes later, she came back in with the soup. I took the bowl and began to eat. Then she grabbed the bowl. "No. I'm feeding you!"
"Parker, I can feed myself."
"Nope. You helped me now I'm going to get you better. Alien or not." She fed me and I loved every single second of it. She read me stories. Told me her strange dreams. I was falling for her. I was falling hard. I didn't know why.
"Hey. Can you put on Elva? Number 16. I want you to hear this song." I said. She put the CD on and went forward. When she reached it, she pressed play.
"I can feel the world up on my back, I got sixteen people breathin' down my neck, And it's kinda hard to keep your head afloat, When the rain won't stop and your face is soaked, But I'm alright, alright, So just hang on, cause I, I won't be long, Just sing that song to me, Goes I'm in love with you in love with me, Cause I'm in love with you in love with me, And I can feel your breath upon my neck, One last caress, I'm a nervous wreck, And it's kinda hard to keep your head afloat, When the rain won't stop and your face is soaked, But I'm alright, alright" the song went.
"Nice the I'm in love with you part?" I said. Why was I doing this? I was telling her I loved her. I do love her. WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING YOURSELF THE DAMN QUESTIONS? I wanted her to tell me she loved me but I don't think she will. "I love you Elizabeth Parker I'm in love with you. I just want to know if you're in love with me."
"Michael. I think I am." She looked at me and smiled. I smiled at her. We kissed. I mean, there explosions in that kiss. Fireworks and everything. I didn't want to let go.

Dear Journal,
Well. Here I am, with Liz next to me asleep. She loves me. She told me she loved me. I must be in a dream or something. All I can think about is her. She told me she loved me. I still can't get it through my head. Shit. Max is gonna read this. Shit Shit Shit. Journal check up time tomorrow and Max is gonna learn why Liz broke up with him. Then, he is gonna try and get her back. Dammit. But he'll read this. He'll see what I just wrote. I ain't aloud to cross out anything either. Great going Michael. You blew it. Go on Michael, congradgulate yourself on your stupidity. Really Michael. You're loosing it. Oh well. Fuck Max. I love Liz and she loves me. And if he is pissed off about it, he can go crap on himself. Maria will find out to. Dammit. I gotta get out. But I can't leave her. I won't. I won't run away. I'm not Max.


~*~Morning~*~
I awoke to hearing the shower running. I looked over next to me. Liz wasn't there. Must be in the shower I thought. Then, I had to take a piss. Perfect timing right. Well, there isn't another toilet in this apartment. I walked in minding my own business. "Michael, what are you doing?" Liz asked, still taking a shower. I unzipped my pants and did my business.
"I need to flush the toilet."
"Hold on." I heard the water stop running. Liz walked out and quickly wrapped a towel around her. "I was done. You can carry on."
"Oh, I'm done." I flushed the toilet and walked up to her.
"Um. XYZ Michael." I looked down. I felt my face go hot. I quickly turned around and zipped up my pants.
"So how did you like the shower?" I asked. The realizing what I had said, I hit myself on the head. "Nice talking Michael," I said to myself.
"What did you say?"
"Oh nothing, nothing. I was just talking to myself. Yea." Liz giggled. She then went to my dresser and pulled out another one of my shirts. As she was putting on the shirt, she dropped the towel. I turned around quickly, trying to control myself. I can't help watching her. I mean, she's beautiful, kind, loving, and has one of the best bodies I've ever seen. I turned back around. She was fully dressed in one of my shirts and one of my cut up jeans. "So, what do you want for breakfast?"



All right, forget the whole Dear Journal thing. I don't want it. To do that anymore. Well. Liz and I have been getting along great. Max is a little annoyed at me. Maria, well Maria is just giving everyone a hard time. I'm glad it's over. So. Number four, Carry. Carry and I were perfect for each other. She had just broke up with and asswhole named Jake. I had just broken up with Anna. We connected. It was perfect. We were getting along great. I didn't have to worry about her leaving because we were in the same boat and we understood each other. Well, she left me. 'I met another guy" she said. Who was the guy? I don't know. She never told me. So, I'll never know. All I know was she met another guy. It was probably Kyle. Who else could it be? He goes after every one of my exes's. He does it on purpose most likely. I hate him.

Liz grabbed my journal and began to read my entry. "Liz give it back." Liz giggled.
"I knew it! Same with Anna and Mary!"
"Ok, well what else do you have in here." Liz started to flip the pages. I tried to grab it but she moved to fast.
"Liz, don't make me get rough with you." Liz still read.
"Ah, here is the story with Anna."
"Well, I warned you." I picked her up.
"Put me down Michael. Put me down and I'll stop reading," Liz said laughing. I put her down on the bed. I laid on top of her. I took the book and threw it behind me. You can guess what happened next. I don't want to share all the juicy details.

~*~Later~*~
"Well, good night Michael. If I don't go home, Mom will wonder where I have been." She kissed me.
"Alright. I'll be around later to make sure your ok." Liz left. Now. It was five and I got nothing to do. I decided to go down to Max's. I brought my journal that way if I got to bored there, I could write. When I got there, I walked in without knocking or ringing the doorbell. "Hello everyone." I said while sitting down on the couch with Alex.
"Hey Michael. How are you?"
"Fine I guess. Are you waiting for Iz?"
"Yup, and she thinks I take a long time!"
"Yup, know what ya mean."
"You do?"
"I have had a share of girlfriends." Alex nodded.
"Iz, look at me. Will you look at me?" we heard Max say. I turned to Alex.
"Won't talk to him?" Alex nodded. I got up. "I'll be right back." I walked into Isabel's room. Isabel was sitting on her bed tying her shoe. Max was leaning on her dresser. Isabel looked up and smiled when she saw me.
"Hey Mike," she said.
"Great, she'll talk to you but she won't talk to me."
"Watch this. Hey Iz. I don't think you should go to college too," I said with a straight face. She glared at me. "Just kidding. Of course I want you to go to College!" I said smiling. "Your boyfriend is waiting for you. Better hurry or you will never get him off that couch." Isabel hurried out of the room.
"Michael. I know why she's mad at me. That doesn't mean she has to give me the silent treatment."
"Max, she will start talking to you again. Just give her some time."
"Did you bring your journal?"
"Yeah. Thought I might get bored here." I said. Max and I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. I flipped the channel trying to find something good on. Max looked through my journal making sure everything was going ok. "Friends is on. Oh, It's the blackout. My favorite episode! Hey Max, look." Max was concentrating hard on one page. "Max, did you find something interesting in my journal?"
"Yea. It says 'I can understand that she didn't want to but had to.' What does that mean Michael?"
"I can't say. I promised I wouldn't."
"And it also says 'Liz did what she had to do. If she didn't, I'd most likely be dead in the future. I owe my life to her. So does everyone else.' What do you mean by that?"
"Max. You can't tell Liz that I told you. You gotta promise me." "I promise. I will not tell Liz that you told me."
"Max, the future you visited her one night. He said that the world would end if you guys stayed together. He said that Liz had to end it. I helped her."
"So you mean she still loves me?"
"Max think. How could she love you after what you did to her? You treated he like shit after you saw her with another guy. You treated her like she was nothing. You know how many nights I had to calm her down because she was crying so much?" Max wasn't paying any attention to me. He was still looking at the entries.
"You fell in love with her. It says so right in your journal." I looked down. He went to the next page. "She told you that she loved you. She loves you?" I nodded. I couldn't lie to him. "She's in love with you. I could see it but I didn't want to believe it."
"Max. You lost her. It just kills you that you happened to lose her to me right? Liz and me? Right impossible to you. How could a girl love someone like me? Well she does. Polar attraction. That's what they call it right?"
"Get out. Leave. Go away. I don't want to see you." I grabbed my journal.
"What ever you want you majesty." I turned and left. When I was outside, I heard him scream. I waked away. I did my rounds. When I got to Liz's I saw Max's car in the front. I walked around to her balcony. There I heard Max screaming and Liz trying to keep him quiet. Than I heard her begin to cry. I couldn't listen to that anymore. I climbed the fire escape up to her balcony. When, I reached her room. I saw Max shaking her violently. I grabbed Max and pulled him off her. "Get out of here." He didn't move. "GET OUT OF HERE!" I screamed. We heard footsteps coming up stairs.
"Liz, are you ok? Liz?" Max jumped out of the window and left. I bent down beside Liz. I help her against me. The door opened. There stood Liz's parents. They saw me rocking Liz back and forth. She was still crying. I knew I was going to have to explain some things very soon.
Liz was crying. Max was gone. Liz' parents were pissed. Boy was I in trouble. "What the hell happened here?" Liz's father screamed.
"I'm sorry sir, but I was walking and I heard a commotion here so I came to check if everything was ok. Well, I found some guy trying to hurt her so I scared him away." I said. I had to cover for Max. He's my king. I had to.
"Ok Michael. Thank you. Did you get a good look at this man?"
"No. I'm sorry sir, I didn't. I pulled him off her, yelled at him and he ran. I'll track him down. I promise." I stood up to leave.
"Michael, don't leave me please," Liz said still letting out little sobs. I bent down beside her.
"I won't leave you. Not tonight. I'll be out on the balconey, keeping watch. I'm never going to leave you," I said. I couldn't. Not with Max acting like this. He would come back to finish it. I knew he would. Liz stood up. She walked over to her bed and sat down. Liz's parents left knowing that she would be safe. I sat on the window ledge watching the stars waiting for Max to come back.
"You told him. You told him and he found out didn't he. Michael, how did he find out." She looked at me, her eyes bloodshot.
"He read a journal entry. The whole check up thing. When he found out about the future Max and he thought there was still hope. But read further. He found out. He said he wasn't going to tell you. Well he didn't but he knew that meant not doing this."
"Michael, you told him. After I told you not to. Michael how can I trust you."
"I saved your goddamn life didn't I. Doesn't that count. Doesn't it count that I'm madly in love with you? Doesn't it count that I would die for you?"
"Michael, you'd die for anyone one of us. Including Max." I looked down at my shoes. It was true. I'd die for any of them, even Maxwell. "You couldn't even tell my parents that it was Max."
"Don't Liz. You don't know. I have to put up with his shit all the time. I have to protect him. That's what I do. I protect Max, Isabel, Alex, Kyle, Tess, and you. That's what my purpose in life is. I protect the ones that know what I am. I protect those that are the same as me. I think by know you would have known that. Dammit Liz. I just saved you from being assimilated! And this is how you repay me. By giving me all this bull shit on how you can't trust me because I told Max something he was going to find out anyway?"
"Michael, I didn't mean it like that. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the guy that I went out with! I'm afraid of someone who said they loved me till the end of the earth!" Liz began to cry again. I sat down next to her. I held her. She seemed so weak and helpless. I then heard someone coming up onto the balconey. It was Maria.
"Get off of her Michael, you, you asswhole!" she screamed. I let go of Liz and stood up.
"What are you talking about?"
"Max told me everything. You come here, start beating her and then when Max comes to see her, you go crazy! You are such a..."
"Maria, shut up. You don't know bull shit! Now sit down and comfort her. Lock the window. Don't open it till I get back. Liz will tell you what happened. I have to go and find Max." I jumped out the window, leaving Liz with Maria. I knew Max was here. He could get in now. This was the perfect trap.

~*~Two Days Later~*~
I was sitting at home watching TV when I heard a knock on the door. It was Max. "We need to get out of town. Now. All of us."
"What? What's going on?"
"Alex. He died. We think someone murdered him. We think the person who did knows that we're here. They're coming after us."
"Holy shit! What the. Alex. He's fucking dead. Wait. He can't. He went to a place, over seas. Whatever. Alex can't be dead!"
"He is Michael. Isabel, Tess, you, and I have to leave. We can't endanger Kyle, Maria, or Liz."
"You mean like you did?" There was another knock on the door.
"Police we need to ask you some questions. Now open up."
"Out the window. Out the window. Max move now and be quiet." I walked over to the door and opened it. I didn't believe what I saw. It couldn't be. No, he was... dead.

I could kill Max right now. He got me all shooken up about Alex and he really wasn't dead! Isabel, Alex, Tess, Maria, Max, and Liz are mad at me. This must be what hell is like. Sometimes I wish I did have to deal with my life. I want to leave Roswell. I could, if I wanted to. They wouldn't stop me. I know it. They cast me out in an instant. I can feel it. I know it. In my heart and head.
Maybe I should leave. Get out of their way. Get out of their life. Why not. A permanent vacation. Maybe I'll meet someone who can tell me about where I can from. Why not. The world wouldn't end if I did. They would be just fine.



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