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Jell-O Wrestling: Sport or Fiction
By Puns McKenna

When people think of Jell-O wrestling, they see two people pitted against one another in a large plastic swimming pool ring mucking it up with red, green, or brown goop sticking to their skin and slopping over the sides.

It has recently come into question whether this unadulterated pastime is a sport or a “spectator sport”. A group of equal rights lawyers have been brought into the discussion and are now advocating that it is indeed a sport.

Now, as a sport, Jell-O wrestling would conform to a whole new league of rules and regulations. There would be no room for foul play or purposeful endangerment. The participants would have to abide by the standardized rules of wrestling. ( -Wrestling Rules). This, I have been assured, can be accomplished.

The question spectators have to ask themselves is this. “Would I really want to see a bunch of folks acting like they’re wrestling in a pool full of Jell-O, or do I want to actually watch real wrestling?” Everyone knows that wrestling of today is a show put on for the public. The real action of wrestling is still there, but the flavor isn’t quite the same as it was twenty years ago. Now, it’s become showmanship vs. sport.

The truth of the matter is this. Professional wrestling was getting too dangerous in the late ‘80s. We all know that there were a LOT of changes made when Andre The Giant fell in combat. It was then that the way the game was played began to change. Pro Wrestling got a face-lift… Factions split off like a hive of honey bees… and the era of “show it, don’t do it” began. It basically became an entertaining sideshow with a bunch of superheroes and villains. Not a bad thing if you’re writing a comic book, but the impact on the sport has been somewhat alarming.

Now, to have the no holds barred, free-for-all style of Jell-O wrestling put into the same category may not be the best idea. Let’s examine the differences between the sport and the spectator sport, shall we? Professional wrestlers wear completely different costumes. They jump off the side of the ring and body slam their opponents. Jell-O wrestlers slip around half clothed in the gooey muck trying to bring each other down.

Equal rights lawyers advocate that… “the differences aren’t really all that different” when you get down to the basics. The reality behind Jell-O wrestling is that it has become a more popularly watched event. The world has become more aware of it, and now its fate must be decided. Do we keep it as free-for-all and entertaining as it currently is, or do we turn it into another franchisable opportunity?

The defining arguments are still being conducted behind closed doors, but the little bits that have been leaked to us are promising to push in the direction of making it an official sport.

The proof, however, will be in the pudding!

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