Really Pathetic Productions

Educational Programming: Behind the Scenes…
By Puns McKenna

In an exclusive behind the scenes investigation, it was recently revealed that favorite characters such as Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch, Burt, and even Ernie just don’t believe in the PC campaign. Apparently a small video camera was set up in the back room of the Children’s Television Workshop and it caught some very politically incorrect behavior.

Now to me, this seems a bit hypocritical. I mean that spying on our beloved characters on their own time seems a little bit politically incorrect. Would you want to know that Big Bird swears and drinks beer when he’s not performing in front of kids? I certainly wouldn’t! I mean it ruins that nice wholesome image of the big yellow canary that I, for one, have harbored since I was a child and Sesame Street was still Sesame Street.

How about learning that Curious George has a gambling problem? Now who would want to know that kind of thing? Well, I don’t! Personally, it isn’t any of my never mind what these guys do on their own time unless it starts affecting our children. Might be very educational to see the little brown monkey getting dragged off the set at gun point by a couple of two bit thugs from Vegas, but then it would absolutely ruin the wholesome goodness of the character.

Okay, so maybe their actions outside of work do have an impact on the quality programming they provide to our children, but who really cares about the Politically correctness of these guys. Just because the world is getting it’s knickers in a knot about what we talk about today. Seesh! I mean, what if we were talking about what the Jetsons are doing about the Last Star Fighter situation on Alpha Centauri? Would it really matter if George wore women’s underwear?

What about we take a look at the politically immoral Yogi Bear? He promotes thievery everytime he steals a picnic basket. Maybe we need to create a show that is so PC it will indoctrinate the world, stop all communication, and turn us all into drones.

Okay, so I don’t condone PC clap trap! Personally I think PC can go stand on it’s ear and weave baskets with it’s toes, but there are those out there that would have us all behaving exactly as they would have us behave. I want to be a curious little monkey with money problems and let the rest of the world go by without me dagnabbit! Why can’t I get to Sesame Street?