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Apple and Microsoft Giants Unite to form Doomsday Clock
By Grey Events

The Internet foamed out of computer and phone screens around the world this week when it was announced that Apple Computers CEO and immortal demigod Steve Jobs was going to unite his talents with those of Microsoft puppet master and functionally unkillable mastermind Bill Gates.
Somehow even rumours of this ultimate team up of ultimate corporate muscle evaded even the all knowing, all encompassing power of the Internet, hence the frothing, which is causing no small amount of flooding in computer goods stores.
The publicly stated reason for this team up is to accurately assess when the end of the world will be.
Convinced of his own near immortality after surviving cancer, the massive online criticism of the iPhone as it suffered minor failures and the larger failure of not being able to make everyone physically, emotionally and mentally happy, and the intense, focused hatred caused when the iPad failed to become the be all and end all of human technology, thereby causing all of society to collapse into a mass of seething joy dedicated to spreading itself around the Universe, Steve Jobs has become obsessed with the end of the world, which might just have the power to end him.
Bill Gates motive appears to be that he has been looking for a hobby/attention getter since no one complains about him much anymore.
Fears exist that 2012 will signal the end of the world, in part due to the triple alignment of ancient South American calendar predictions, Nostrodamus prophecies, and the disaster movie “Eat, Pray, Love”, which bought together Julia Roberts and an international best seller book into a format so horrific, so terrifying, that had audience members stumbling out of the theatre predicting the end times for the Hollywood star and the distinct possibility that books will pass beyond the veil.
It is thought that the last is what caught Steve Jobs’ attention as he is attempting to exterminate paper and replace it all with iScreens of some description.
Consequently many expect an iSurvivalPod to be the big thing by late 2011 or early 2012, though whether it will have room for anyone other than Steve Jobs and Steve Jobs’ money is anyone’s guess as this leaves nothing to feed his ego.
This also fails to take into account the Bill Gates factor. If Jobs could do this alone then he would, but he has asked a man who is probably as close as he has to a rival to assist him.
Each commands much the same resources, doubling their capabilities, but just like Jobs computer mogul Bill Gates has some unique talents to bring to this project.
Gates’ skill at personnel motivation and goal setting could put this project on the fast track it needs to be. From constant harassment to grudging rewards Bill Gates has used every trick in the book. Even offering, or threatening we’re not too sure to be honest, to provide a lapdance to every employee who meets, or only meets hence the threat, the set daily targets.
Reporters around the world are having a hard time with this one, it sounds like an interesting story shaping up, but at the same time no one really wants to get closer to these two than necessary.
With a casual disregard for wellbeing we hope to be the first to bring you into the loop on this attempt to cheat Armageddon.

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