Past Sports




Sports coverage for the week of 3/1/10

2010 Winter Olympics Secrets Revealed
By Grey Sports

The Vancouver Winter Olympics have been a stunning event, far ahead of previous Winter Olympics and possibly on par with the Beijing Olympics of 2008.
Marred by tragedy such as the pregame death, and yet with feat after amazing feat as athletes, sometimes considered far too senior to provide a challenge to younger competitors, have not only risen to the challenge but exceeded personal bests, proving youth to be no advantage.
However not all is as it seems in this winter wonderland. 75% of the snow had to be imported due to a security breach just a week before opening that had resulted in yellow snow across most of the ski fields.
While not an unusual or unexpected form of vandalism the sheer volume of yellow snow meant that most of it was collecting in the landing zones of ski jumps or in notable crash areas. Any competitor would have been covered in the stuff, and in the case of crashes would be so heavily coated in yellow snow, well, I think Iíve made my point.
The Chinese, Americans and Italians have pounced upon this as proof that Canada is not ready to host the Winter Olympics, being too damn friendly to provide adequate security. This despite the nineteen heavy beatings issued to placate Beijing, seventeen unnecessary strip searches to please Washington and forty seven strippers to something we donít want to elaborate on for Rome.
This is not the only breach, shortly after the opening ceremonies environmentalists surrounded a contingent of Japanese competitors and pelted them with eggs and rancid butter as a protest against that nationís continued whaling practices.
What makes this even more serious is that the only competitors to have voiced an opinion either way about whaling were the brave few who had spoken out about it.
Canadian officials have said this cannot be their fault, the environmentalists should have done their research, except everyone knows that environmentalists never do the research, and background information of this kind on the competitors should have been provided as a precaution.
This is not by any stretch of the imagination a reason to shame Canada, there have been just as many secret moments of awesomeness.
For example the bilingual nature of the games has been largely praised for raising awareness of Canadian culture, in that people now know Canada has a culture.
However one French official did note snarkily that the signs and speeches were all in a ďquaint colonial dialectĒ.
The only Canadian response was to say that Canadianís liked quaint traditions, like going back to the save the coloniserís butt when itís been invaded and surrendered.
Not subtle, not bad. Go Canada.

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