Past Sports



Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 3/24/09

Golf: On a Tight Budget.
By Puns McKenna
Today most golfers own a great deal of equipment to play the game. In the past it hasnít been much of a stretch to find replacement equipment, but now the Pickins are getting slimmer and slimmer. Many golfers have turned to repairing and reusing their broken/lost equipment. Letís take a look at some examples of what theyíre doing.

Fred, a golfer in Socorro, New Mexico has lost all of his balls in the lake at the local course. Now, the golf course is near the VLA, which is a part of the huge National Radio Astronomy Observatory. Fred has recently been seen practicing his swing on the course with an odd shiny ball. From a great distance many think that these balls are simply silver painted golf balls, but upon closer inspection it has been discovered that these are not mere golf balls, they are aluminum foil covered ping pong balls. Apparently the magnetism from the observatory complex has created a perfect environment for Fred to hit that perfect birdie in.

Another example comes from Mr. Walter Meyers in Pensacola, Florida. Mr. Meyers enjoys a good round of golf with his friends on a bright sunny day. In recent months, however, he has made a tragic discovery. His nine iron had developed a fatal flaw in itís titanium casing. There is a hairline fracture along the length of the lower quadrant. Now, being an orthopedic surgeon he knew just what to do. He got out the putty and a large roll of bandages and tape. Using techniques similar to open surgery on a human patient, Mr. Meyers has repaired the club. And he says that in just a few months it should be able to smack that ball all the way to Texas.

These are both fine examples of what you can use thatís lying around the house, or perhaps in your medical kits. Some other examples include plastic Easter eggs, rubber ducks, Cadburys Peanut butter eggs, socks full of marbles. Not the little marbles mind you, but those big steelies and aggies. Large construction vehicles have also been raided for their ball bearings. Though these are only a few examples, I have heard that some use spatulas tied to the end of long sticks and hard-boiled eggs. I suppose the office golfer might use the badminton birdie into the paper cup method. Itís safe, simple, and provides at least a half an hour of entertainment before the player gets too bored.

Other forms of golf are beginning to flourish because of the economic bad hair day. We all know the economy stuck its wet finger in a light socket and got shocked. Now, we the consumers have to pay for it, though I suppose it has fueled a boost in creativity. Weíre reinventing the various sports, and some versions of golf + equipment are becoming more and more unique. So, whether your favored sport is Magnetic golf, Spatula Splits Hole in One, or Badminton Put Put Golf. Go out and enjoy yourselves. Spit in the economyís eye and while itís wiping its face, you go make those holes in one!


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