Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 1/30/09

Ever since makeup companies found out that Peggy Sue and her eight trailer park buddies have quilting parties and watch the Indianapolis 500 they’ve been putting larger stickers on the cars. They’ve also started introducing new ideas to car designers to make the cars more of a sex object.

Since the days of the first muscle cars men have gone gaga over cars. Women have gone gaga over the men who drive the cars. Thus the car has been viewed as a sex object. When women started posing in the buff, or perhaps in slink clothing against cars, makeup companies began really targeting the scene.

Now, with the new age women drivers are becoming common, and these companies have decided to step up their interests. They’ll begin with the stickers and before you know it, they’ll be adding lighted makeup mirrors, lipstick holders, and other feminine accoutrements.

What this reporter wants to know is, What’s next? If you follow a logical pattern here you might see where things can lead. Women wear bras, right? Cars wear bras, right? Women wear makeup. Will cars wear it next? Do we really want to have rouged fenders and lipsticked bumpers? We already have girly car colors and car apparel. Will the new age bring makeup and accessories? Maybe we can see our cars having matching designer luggage too.

The modern sports age is advancing in some unusual ways. Is it really going the right direction or speed, though? We’ve gone from Mack Sennet bathing Beauties to lady racecar drivers. What is this world coming to? I suppose it’s better to have the women drivers made up nicely instead of like circus clowns. And maybe giving them a little pinstripe tattoo on their read end will add to the flavor. Of course they could always try Von Dutch Style.

Seriously though. Is it really the place of the makeup corporations to be getting into the sports arena? I’m all for advertising their products and making money, but when is enough too much? Maybe we’ll have a few of the companies start sponsoring race cars or lines of clothing, or perhaps they’ll get out of cosmetics altogether and go lock stock and lipstick tube into some sports franchise. Talk about disasters waiting to happen. I’m not really sure I could handle seeing a women’s sport team, or woman race driver sporting the latest and greatest in cosmetics. Just some food for thought.