Past Sports



Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 1/11/09

Sporty thoughts from Nevada
Itís That Time AgainÖ.
By Puns McKenna
The Super Bowl. This is what, Superbowl 500, 465, 048? Okay, so I exaggerate a little... but the point remains. Are you all getting a little tired of the monotony? Lord knows, I am. So, hereís what I propose. Instead of watching the Super Bowl this year, hereís what we can do.

We can go ice fishing in our skivvies. Polar bears do it all the time, why canít we? Simply pick our most fashionable skivvies and gather our gear. Fishing pole, really sharp knife (for cutting iceholes), bait, and parkas. What? You donít expect me to go out there in the Ė58° weather without a parka, do you? Now wouldnít that be silly. If ice fishing isnít for you, how about skydiving with a lawn and leaf bag?

It canít be done? Nonsense! Of course it can be done... anything can be done! You just have to do it right. Okay, so aside from jumping out of a perfectly good airplane (Something I canít figure out why anyone would do). Why donít we add a Gladô Lawn and Leaf bag to the mix? Of course, your dive instructor is going to question why you want to jump with a garbage bag, but youíll simply tell him itís something to do other than watch the Suprabowl. If that doesnít grab you, how about nose picking?

Okay, it doesnít sound all that interesting on the surface. In fact it sounds down right yuck, but thatís only if you follow this creedo. ďYou can pick your nose. You can pick your friends. But you canít pick your friendís nose.Ē Now that the grossness is out of the way, that isnít the kind of nose picking I was referring to. I was actually referring to picking a schnoz, a physical shape of a nose. You could have plastic surgery. It would be as equally painful as watching a bunch of sweating male egotists beat each other up for a piece of pigskin. But, hey, if that still doesnít grab youÖ You could do a geeky thing like me.

Want the height of supreme geekiness? Play an RPG or Miniatures game. My game of choice is Battletech. Yep, thatís right! Instead of watching the egotists, Iím going to be playing Battletech. Now, I wonít be going out of the house to do it, and I wonít be having a load of friends over to play with me. Itíll just be my son and me. Weíll play a few games. And you can rest assured, there wonít be any football anything on the tv. Weíll likely be watching Gremlins whilst we game.

So in the infamous words of Dana Carvy... ďGame on!Ē Maybe the Superbowl is that game for you, but just think of all the other goofy things you could be doing.


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