Past Sports



Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 11/19/08

How to Tailgate in Style!
By Puns McKenna

We’ve all been there, haven’t we girls? You know, going to that big tailgate party that your guys are having in the parking lot at the football stadium? They’re always bringing things that just aren’t palatable, aren’t they? Pickled eggs…pork rinds…beer. Blech! That and the bed of that truck is always too darned cold, no matter what you do to protect yourself. Last year you were wearing three layers of clothing and sweltering even though it was only thirty-eight degrees outside.

Well, don’t despair! This year you can tailgate in style and comfort. And it won’t cost you a thing! Just grab yourself a few comfy blankets, and a cooler full of your favorite things. Wine coolers, baked tortilla strips, fruit salsa, etc.

Or you could try this one. You’ve got this very important appointment to keep and the guy in front of you is driving ten miles an hour below the posted speed limit. So you try to keep your car at a reasonable distance, but the anger… the urgency… the rage is building up inside of you. You want to drive your car right up the slow poke’s tailpipe. But you keep your cool and only tailgate the guy a little.

Of course we all know about the jazziness of tailgating, too. Those mean jazz trombones wailin’ away at the tunes. Parading around, floating down the road blastin’ out the music.

Have we figured out that there are several different definitions of the word tailgate? You can pick your poison really, but partying seems to be the most fun to me. And we all know how those men love to just party in the rough. You know the whole manly cave man approach? Ooh, ooh, ah, ah! Okay, so I’ve given some ideas of how to be comfortable and well fed during one of these, tailgate shindigs. But have I mentioned how to have fun? Bring some hot tunes, some cool friends, and rock on while you support your favorite team.

What I really prefer though, is to kick back with a good book while the rest of y’all go party like it’s the 49ers in the Superbowl again. But then is football really a woman’s favorite sport? I thought shopping was. There we go. Tailgate party at Bloomingdales! Bon-bons and cappuccinos while you hang out in the parking lot, read your favorite book with your hair in curlers, and wait for the store to open. The only thing that might make the experience better is if you had your 27-inch TV plugged in and switched onto the soaps that you watch everyday.

Its better than getting stuck behind the little old guy that can barely see over the steering wheel, or hanging out with the guys while they play their manly, hairy-chest games. Don’t you think so?


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