Past Sports



Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 5/6/08

Chinese Olympic Preparations Revealed
By, Grey Sports

The impending Beijing Olympics long ago set off a flurry of preparations all over China, some of which made sense, however distasteful, and others seem just plain odd.
Ceasing construction and heavy traffic for three weeks prior to the games in order to clean up the air makes sense, as does painting the local rats grey. Putting a sack of rice on every street corner is somewhat confusing, but it may just be a cultural thing.
Of course dissidents are being locked up, objectors brutalized and sheep herded together for the social entertainment of certain nationalities that won’t be mentioned here.
But then there are the things that are going on that aren’t a matter of public record or spot on speculation. I mean the stuff that’s being found out through dogged investigation.
Revelations that athletes food was going to be doped with steroids because the Chinese thought everyone did it came as a shock, though was quickly corrected and the supplies of steroids will be donated to orphans in Darfur.
Similarly preparations to have the local torture cells expanded has been brushed off as an internal matter, even though they were clearly being prepared to handle international protestors.
Then there are the preparations the Chinese really wanted to keep secret.
Things like addicting the entire English Olympic team to opium in a tit for tat piece of revenge as payback for the English doing it to them more than a century ago has deeply concerned many who wonder how many chips China has on its shoulder, even though this exercise is doomed to failure as early testing results indicate that the entire English Olympic team is hooked on phonics.
There are also indications that China may try to “sell” it’s organ trade, hooking up athletes with sick and dying family members with “fresh” “untainted” and “best before 2009” organs, offering to turn it’s criminal and “moderately disagreeable” classes into worldwide organ banks.
If this sounds like paranoid delusion, well maybe it is to a degree. However there is strong evidence that China also wants to use the presence of international athletes to prove that its environment is perfectly safe by having them drink one glass of local water per day.
Not even Chinese drink Chinese water if they have something else available, hence the rising popularity of beer, Pepsi and Yak water.
Don’t ask where they get the Pepsi from.
Rumours also abound regarding seating arrangements. That Russia isn’t being sat next to Italy in any event, that Egypt and Israel are being kept apart in all track and field events, equestrian events are segregated by colour of the horse and that no one is being sat near France, though after their behaviour in the last Olympics (claiming that Greece was a long lost province engendered no love whatsoever) no one really minds.


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