Past Sports



Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 2/24/08

Clan Scientists Revealed!
A Really Pathetic Battletech Special Report
By, Puns McKenna
Why in this age have they chosen to collect on Solaris 7? Everyone knows how abhorrent the game world is to the Clans. So what could possibly make them gather there? Our undercover report, James MacDougal slipped in and managed to find out. His shocking report follows in its entirety.
Scientists from Clan held space have gathered on Solaris 7 to build an army. Their technological ability to create genetically superior humans from gene manipulation has led them to this daring stunt. As with many other nations of the Inner Sphere the Cameron’s were great sports enthusiasts. A satellite office of the National Basketball Association was set up on Solaris. The Clans discovered the NBA’s continued existence sometime after the Inner Sphere united to fight their common foe.

Many Clans hesitated to agree to this project, but in the end the logic of the situation won out. The Clans were growing weaker for lack of genetic diversity. So they began exploring other options. Someone remembered that there had been a sport’s league set up by the Cameron’s and that each player was required to be genetically superior. A contingent of Clan scientist was sent to the planet to investigate and test viability of using such material to re-strengthen the Clans.

After several months of study, they deemed the project viable and began stealing samples of the athletes’ genetic material. It took several months before the project began to bear fruit, but when it did, they had quite a few of the star players cloned. These clones proved to be extremely adaptable and were trained to fight. They have been filling the ranks of the Clans for years now. One has to wonder if they intend to invade the Inner Sphere again. One must also wonder if these “Super Athletes” won’t be as predictable as they were playing sports.

Unfortunately this report was gotten at a high price. Mr. MacDougal encountered a group of the “Super Athlete” soldiers and found out first hand their capabilities. Whoever thought that a seven-foot tall Basketball player was not intimidating had obviously never met these guys. Authorities have been alerted to the cloning ring and are deciding if it’s worth shutting down.

In the meantime, in lieu of flowers, please send donations to the James MacDougal Memorial Fund.


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