Past Sports



Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 1/27/08

Superbowl… And the Winners Are?
By, Puns McKenna

This season’s hottest picks are Tupperware and Corningware. That’s right folks, the favorites for this year’s Superbowl are Modular Mates™ and Portables™. All you need to travel with your favorite foods. Each is great for chips and dips, but more importantly they’re good for the hot foods. Let’s take a look at the merits of both and see, which you decide, is your favorite pick.
Tupperware Modular Mates™ have snap on lids to help prevent spills and you can stack them for ease of transport and storage. They don’t, however, keep hot foods hot for any length of time. The minute you remove your food from heat put it in the Tupperware and snap on the lid you’re losing heat. So a recap? Great stackability and freshness quality of food; Not so great in the heat retention department, however.

Now we move on to the Corningware Portables™ statistics. They allow you to transport your food with little muss and little fuss. Simply fill your Corningware bowl, place it in the carrying pouch that keeps your food from spilling everywhere and retains a fair amount of the heat. Only real drawback to these dishes is their lack of stackability.

Now let’s see…what? You mean that isn’t the Superbowl you wanted to know about? You mean you want to know about the Giants and the Patriots? Oh! Well okay, I suppose they’re interesting enough. Not nearly as exciting as a Tupperware party, but let’s examine ‘em anyhow.

Okay, so the Giants and the Patriots have fought this long hard battle to get to Superbowl XLII(42). The GIants are 10 and 6 this season. Not bad in the overall standings I suppose, but can they really stand up against the Patriots 16 and 0 for the season? I don’t think so. I mean think about it. Here you have a team that hasn’t lost a single game all season, and has an airtight defensive line. Yeah, ya know, I’m thinking that the Giants don’t stand a chance, unless of course half the Patriots defensive line ends up sick as a dog the night before the game. But then they’ll just postpone the game on account of barfing.

The New York Giants’ coaches must be awful confident going into this game. But what does that do to the fans? Nothing much from what I hear. Given the standings and how the teams have played all year apparently there’s not a lot of draw to the Superbowl. People I’ve talked to have said, “The Superbowl isn’t going to be nearly entertaining enough this year for me to even turn my television set on. We already know who’s going to win, what’s the point of watching a foregone conclusion?”

You want to know the draw for me? It’s easily the most boring sport I’ve ever had to watch, but the Superbowl has one thing going for it. Despite the foregone conclusion, you get to watch a bunch of pansies beat each other up for a stuffed piece of pigskin. The height of irony in our modern society, no? Let’s get into the uncomfortable uniforms that identify us as icons of modern society; walk into a humongous stadium filled with throngs of society’s massed rabble; and beat each other to bruised and bloody pulps over a bit of pork skin stuffed with a cotton/rayon blend.

Now, I know why they do it, but is it a really valid reason? They love the game, the money, and the fame. Besides, if the Patriots lose no one will ever believe in them again. It may look easy, but it’s no walk in the park to win every game of your football season. Just ask all the bumps, bruises, and contusions these fellas have had through the season.

Now, who do I predict will win? I don’t really have to predict do I? Everyone says the Patriots are going to win. For the record, I hope the Patriots bubble bursts and the Giants win. Just to prove you never can be too sure about a sure thing.


 Really Pathetic Productions 1997-2007© Menu Bar by Albatross