Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 8/29/07

Catch a Fish with your favorite Dish…
By, Puns McKenna

So you’re a great fisherman, right? Well now you’ve got the little woman to think about. You want her to be involved in everything you do, right? Yep! So despite the better judgement, despite the advice you’re given, you take her fishing with you. And where do the problems begin? First thing in the morning!

You’ve got this really great lake you go up to one weekend a month. To get there, with enough time to get in some good fishing, you have to leave at five-thirty in the morning. So you tap the little woman on the shoulder and try to gently wake her. Instead of the pretty pout you get at ten-fifteen, when you normally wake her up… You get this inhuman snarl and a horrific beast with green goop all over its face.

After pouring several gallons of coffee down her throat, you get her to stop grumbling about the hour. But now she’s grumbling about a rest stop every half-hour. With each stop you get more and more angry. By the time you reach the lake, there’s fifty boats in the water and the sun is already well above the horizon. This is the point where you discover that not only does she have a small bladder; she also has no clue what end of the boat is which.

So you manage to launch your boat and get a spot near the middle of the lake. Then she asks, “what are those yucky things wiggling in that cup?” You look at her incredulous and then start to laugh. That’s when you realize that laughter isn’t always the best medicine. So you survive her wrath for laughing at her, and manage to come to enough of an agreement to be able to get your line into the water.

After a peaceful hour, the storm starts brewing again. It’s just the little things at first. The way she taps her fingernails, the way she tosses her hair over her shoulder every couple of minutes. Then you know it’s really trouble when she just gives you that look and says, “Are you done yet?” So you pull in your line, pack up the car; get the boat hooked up; and head for home.

By the time you reach home its dark as pitch. She’s grouchier than ever at having to be up so early and out so late. You get inside, she disappears into the bathroom. You turn on the tube, grab a beer, and watch the latest sport fishing show. The perfect end to a perfect day in fishing, no?


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