Past Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 2/28/07

Space hockey might become real sport
By, Cozmic

Yes, you read that right. Convinced by just how much fun Subspace Hockey is (imagine asteroids and hockey combined, but the asteroids are players, and you want to shoot them), NASA is now looking at making the sport real, using small spaceships, as soon as a proper design is available. Exactly how they would construct the rink is anyone's guess, as is what would be used as a puck that wouldn't become suddenly lethal if launched fast enough, or that looked sufficiently much like the burning orb of fire used in the Subspace game.. Tackles have been decided as a sort of short range transmitter that shuts down the person hit, accused of being extremely dull, non-violent and thus extremely un-hockeylike. NASA itself decided that it was cool as the bees knees to have wireless technology, in space, and spaceships for the sheer purpose of having people watch something that might be reasonable cool with a bit of delay and thus no real live TV. They also pointed out that, in true hockey-spirit, they would have commercials about every single time the game is called off, so people can go and get another beer, or, considering who might be the audience, some lemonade.

However, the biggest question mark is how NASA will pay for this, as the full rink will cost more than your average football player's salary, and not even regular, fights included, hockey gets that many viewers to begin with. And it is a known fact that each team will need at least 6 players to have on the field/sphere/whatever, which means at least 12 totally new spaceships, of different designs conformed to the standard Nintendo Ice Hockey system, that all need to look totally flashy and not break, while still being able to move.
A spokesperson for NASA said they did not worry too much, thinking they could ask Microsoft to invest in the project. After all, after releasing Internet Explorer 7, trying to get hockey into space might actually seem like a good move.


 Really Pathetic Productions 1997-2007 Menu Bar by Albatross