Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 1/30/06

Straight from the Swede

The Toronto Maple Leafs start practicing for real

By, Cozmic

In a bit of a shocker, the Toronto Maple leafs have decided to take a bit of an odd way to practice for the latest NHL season. Apparently, they all decided that the jokes of them always golfing rather than playing hockey wouldn't be jokes any more. The entire team has decided to go join the PGA tour, much to the dismay of fans, claiming it's harder to drink beer and wear giant foam fingers during a golf game, Adam Sandler movies notwithstanding.

Nevertheless, golfing always has been a favourite pastime of hockey players, and our only guess is that it has something to do with the clubs. Toronto seems to better at one of the sports, rather than the other. “It's just so much easier without all that standing around on skates”, said Mats Sundin, after a spectacularly unsuccessful round of golf, where he barely finished under par. When asked how this was going to improve their hockey playing, he merely shrugged, hit another golf ball down range and said his aim was improving. We still aren't sure if he meant his aim with a puck or with a golf ball, but either way, it sounds good.
Just why Tellquist was practising golf nobody really understands, as goalies don't much need the club in the same way as players do to get better, but then again, Tellquist always let's people down anyway, so the loss is most likely minimal. Or maybe this is the reason Sweden has yet to produce a goalie of any real calibre.

However, fans are still disgruntled, citing they need more fights, and if their favourite players get tied up in a golf tournament (an unlikely scenario, more so than success on the NHL), there can be NO fans going to the games, which is already a problem.

As for other teams, most players were too busy chanting “Golf Leafs, golf!” to be reached for comment, while most golf players are terrified to get punched in the face.
Either way, this promises for an interesting time as a sports fan.






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