Sports from the past week.

Past sports article for the week of 6/30/05

Japan Considering Sport Whaling
By, Grey Sports

Having resoundingly lost their bid to have commercial whaling legalized Japan has started looking at new strategies to provide excuses for hunting whales.
Though Japanese officials claim that they are not trying to find loop holes and excuses people around the world just aren’t that stupid.
Okay, some of them are, the rest are probably desperate as there are already a slew of product manufacturers looking to have their logos and brands plastered across whaling boats to increase product visibility.
This is the latest in a long line of tactics ranging from the relatively straight forward argument of culture, of a tradition of eating whale meat, to the somewhat strange “the whales started it” argument that had involved ad campaigns that were turned into “When Whales Attack”, to the outright ridiculous idea that it was all to aid the helpless, victimized penguins.
Nevertheless Japan has started its argument in full force, expecting it to be legalized
at the next Whaling Commission meeting, a move most analysts predict could lead to the legalization of commercial fishing.
However Japan has a long and difficult job ahead of itself, as evidence of previous Sport Whaling has been slow in appearing, despite the most vigorous manufacturing campaign.
So far the list of sporting heroes is nonexistent, only three teams exist when history speaks of hundreds and specialized equipment, mainly harpoons with racing stripes, have been difficult to produce even with today’s technology. As such Japanese assertions that this sport has been going on for centuries before busybody activists with nothing better to do got in the way is very weak.
When asked just how the sport would be able to justify itself in terms of market viability without selling the whale meat officials pointed to the slew of advertising offers from cigarette manufacturers, liquor purveyors and other products of dubious worth such as Nintendo.
Even in Japan the enthusiasm for the idea has been minimal, a number of Japanese youth support the environmental groups opposed to commercial fishing, while older Japanese see this campaign as lacking dignity, especially with the addition of the mascot, Squeaky the Eat Me Minke.
Outside of Japan this move has changed little, most nations prefer sitting on the fence, awaiting the next round of Japanese bribes to making a decision that could cost them money.
Even those nations such as Britain that allow their most elite social groups to participate in the most barbaric of sports, polo, are hesitant to support this move.
However one new sport may grow out of this, professional whale hunt spoiling. Trialed last year against Norwegian commercial whalers it has proven popular and successfully marketed itself as a sport rather than a Reality TV series by just saying no to a professional host and yes to performance enhancing drugs.





 Really Pathetic Productions 2005 ©