Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 4/17/05

Ticked and Important: Who has America Annoyed and Why
By Grey Politics

In the modern world of diplomacy being an 800-pound gorilla is both an advantage and a disadvantage. While awake no one dares tell you where to sleep, however once you are asleep then someone will voice disgust. This gorilla is America.
Having annoyed a great many people with their invasion of Iraq some have said that the USA’s international reputation will never recover, that it is impossible for any countries to forgive the blatant defiance of international opinion.
Perhaps the angriest at the US are the French, who see Americans as rude, uncultured and contemptible for all the reasons mentioned before and because they are not French. Hardly surprising really.
However this has been a most childish rivalry, with Freedom Fries, the boycotting of Burger King (though not McDonalds due to some semblance of a Scottish background) and infamous musical pissing contest between the Boston Philharmonic and the brass section of the Paris Symphony Orchestra, which resulted in fifty injuries, nine burned out cars and one man having to be surgically extracted from an elephant.
However it is deeper than that, since the French are still annoyed with Americans for the 1966 incident where the UN declared 1967 “The Year of the French” and no one did anything about it.
Why blame the US? Their UN diplomat laughed at the situation first. From this the infamous “French Shit List” was compiled, with the USA being followed by Germany, Russia, Ireland, England, China and then Spain.
The Russians are the next most likely to hate America, though this is far more intense it is also far more frivolous, as the Russians just want a rematch of the Cold War, swapping Kennedy for Khrushchev, Regan for Gorbechov of and Stalin for Thatcher. Though the British have accepted their end of the deal, none of the Russians want to admit that the whole thing now looks like a bad idea based on that one experience.
Following the Russians must surely be Cuba, though only because it is a state sanctioned hobby. Every year those who gain the most “Anti-US” points gets a free space on one of the rafts, thereby making it one of the most popular forms of entertainment in Cuba that is not punished with torture.
Next most annoyed with the US is, according to public statements no less, is England. Though politically England is a strong ally of the Bush government, the war coupled with the endless stream of Reality TV and really, really, really bad Marvel Superhero movies has soured things with the public. Many readily point out that if someone, anyone would just apologise for Daredevil things might improve.
Germany, next on the list, would be a little harder to please, as the majority of Germans are still supporting a move to have anyone associated with Reality TV extradited to the Hague and tried for crimes against humanity. Unfortunately the ongoing refusal of the US to allow its citizens to be tried in the World Court is proving to be the greatest stumbling block.