Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 2/8/10

Celebrities should help Haiti- by staying out of it
By, Cozmic

The new year started off terribly for the nation of Haiti. On the 12th of January an earthquake measuring an enormous 7.0 on the Richter scale hit the country, claiming over 200,000 lives. Help organisations swarmed to the country to help, other countries sent the help they could and Mr. Obama referred to the aid as one of the greatest relief-efforts in modern history.
All of which brings us to celebrities. Celebrities always throw fundraisers or whatever in order to aid relief-efforts. After all, it makes them look really good, and people who look good get bigger parts and more money, and maybe, just maybe, they actually do it to help, you know, on very rare occasions.
So how will celebrities aid in the relief-effort for Haiti? By not going to the country, that's how! Seriously, they can throw fund-raisers and try and do some good by raising public awareness of the need for relief in Hungary after a giant tsunami (see, a lot of celebrities are stupid and misinformed, is what I am saying), and that will be mostly fine, but do we really need celebrities going off to Port-au-Prince to look healthy and fashionable and look for orphans to carry off home? I would have to say no. I mean, sure, they are only trying to help- their image, but Haiti needs only the regular press, documenting the relief-effort, not a bunch of dumb paparazzi running around wanting to get stories of Angelina Jolie's super-secret Haiti fling. A resounding heck no to that. More attention on an issue is usually a good thing, but with celebrities being stuck up jerks who only really care for themselves, then it stands to reason they would only bring the wrong kind of attention. Say for example, teenage girls and middle-aged ladies with no lives thinking “oooh, I want to adopt a small earthquake victim too! It will look great with my new purse!” Once again, how about no!? How about, for once, we let the people who almost know things, as opposed to the other people who act like they know things, actually do what needs to be done now, instead of letting some person famous for lip-synching and sounding horrible while wearing a piece of dental floss between her legs walk around saying we need to do this and that. All of it is horribly stupid (and her agent has still not told her that Haiti and Hungary are totally different, probably because he was too busy rubbing his nose in all the money). Would that be so hard, talentless hacks? Could you try and do the world a favour for a few weeks? I promise, once we have forgotten all about this, in about a month, then you can go down there and adopt and try and act like you care and gain publicity. Until then, stay the hell away!

 Really Pathetic Productions 1997-2010 Menu Bar By Albatross