Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 1/23/09

Thoughts from Nevada
Frozen Knickers
By McKenna
So we’ve got the first black president in the United States. Big whoop! Is it a major milestone in history? Of course it is, but what good is a milestone like this if the president-elect is incompetent? Let’s take an in depth look at his campaign promises, and see just what kind of perfect hell we’d all live in if he fulfills them all.
Okay, we have the Economy. $1,000 Emergency Energy Rebate: If he does this it’s going to cause money problems. Because, hey, we’ve got to face it! When one man gets a discount, someone else gets to pay the difference. So who’s really gonna foot the bill here? Or how about this nice little icicle in the back of the working man? $50 Billion to turn around the economy and save millions from losing their jobs. State growth funds that come out of the taxpayer’s pocket in order to keep education, health, and housing assistance programs around for abuse. Oh! And here’s a beaute! $25 billion in jobs and growth funds to replenish the highway trust fund. Let’s tax out workers even more, so that the bloody blasted highway funds can be misappropriated to poorly designed construction jobs and Construction mega-corporations!

Fair Trade? What the devil is Fair Trade? Oh wait! This reminds me of a story that I read once. It’s a Dutch folk tale, I think. Anyhow, it’s about these three brothers who go out seeking work. Sound familiar? Anyhow, they go out seeking work and finding none start heading home. Along the way, they meet up with the Devil. Now the stipulations of employment are simple. Don’t lose your temper. Now that seems simple. It seems perfect. Kind of like the ideas that Obama’s campaign block came up with. The idea sounds good on the surface doesn’t it? But in practice is it really that simple?

Not really if you follow the story closely enough. The Devil tasks the young men with cutting some firewood with a dull axe. And of course they lose their tempers. What do you think happens when they lose their tempers? They lose enough of the skin off their backs to make two new pairs of boots. The third brother gets smart and learns to trick the devil into losing his temper, but somehow I just don’t see anything similar happening here. There’s an adage that I like to live by. Unfortunately I think that our wonderful new president-elect has ever heard it before. If he had, he’d know that the ideas he proposes for the economy and philosophies are flaming wrong.

TANSTAFL! There Ain’t No Such Thing As a Free Lunch! Just because he’s planning to make all these wonderful changes that make people not lose their homes, or not lose their jobs, doesn’t mean that nobody has to pay the price. There’s ALWAYS going to be someone that has to pay the piper. And we ain’t Hamlin town. Now that said, If Obama’s perfect plans work, we’re going to have to start stocking up on lead lined parkas and snow boots. Cause I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but if Obama’s perfect world happens we’re going to be going into a nuclear war with China that will bury us under tons of radioactive snow. Try as he might, I hope that the majority of his campaign promises fall flat.

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