Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 11/30/07

Life is like another manís Garbage
By, Ezra Paul Mann

One might not think it is not that important to ponder where your trash goes once the disposal man takes it away. Who has time to worry about the refuse of society when weíre all stuck on whether weíll buy Rock Band or Guitar Hero III for Christmas? As a result of this not often thought of conundrum I wondered what a wasteland of tossed aside ideas would look like. Oh the possibilities and sorrows that might be uncovered if we could only see what someone elseís think dump looked like after they changed their mind. Open up your scull so we can have a look inside.
Perhaps we should first take a look at some of the presidential candidates hoping to screw our nation over a little bit more in 2008. Every time I search the internet for news or turn on the Television I see or hear more Bologna promises from candidates that are so concerned about how they wonít be like the other person that they kind of forget what they really stand for. Would Hillary Clinton or Mitt Romneyís head look like a desolate scene from Mad Max where ideas fight for what little brain juice they can find to power their abandoned common sense mobiles? Could Mike Huckabeeís or Fred Thomsonís noggin be an orchestrated mud wrestling match between two sumo wrestlers and a hippo? Iím not ringing the bell in that showdown.
Next, I suppose itís only fair to poke at the shrunken mass of knowledge tissue that is Barry Bondís neck decoration. At one point Iíd like to see the truths he buried in the debris field and see if they arenít suffering the same fate as prisoners in an internment camp. I imagine those honest thoughts are so malnourished that even Paula Deanís cooking couldnít fatten them up to the light of day again. All those home run balls pale in comparison to the testimony heís fudged in his career. Weíll miss you poor lost factoids.
Perhaps the next head to crack open and examine would be that of Bradgelina or for the non entertainment savvy, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. I suppose they have done some good in this world by adopting a child from every nation, but I wonder whatever happened to the thought that the number of kids might need to end at one point. Big families are ok for cheap and nearby labor, but what does two movie stars that havenít seen much toil outside of a gym or sauna need with the herd? Did those thoughts end up on frontal lobe survivor only to be voted off by the bad box office result natives? Maybe all those kids crawled in their parentís noggins and roasted them ala marshmallow brain waves.
Finally, letís talk about the mugged thoughts going on in some of the older generationís heads. I wonder if at one point the obvious idea that maybe we might run out of fossil fuels back in the 1970s somehow seemed dead as disco. I canít seem to fathom why health care is getting less affordable and what could have happened to the light bulbs that came on when universal care got a wee mention. Shoot, I might guess that the idea that we need to be a little more careful with a vote was given a nice steady kick in the smart balls. I suppose weíll just have to clean those up for you too.
So there you have it, a look into the landfill of Americaís mind. Perhaps one day weíll get out the shovel and uncover some of those things that were actually good to think about and get them a nice meal and some attention. I know Iím always digging back through my noggin to find out what I may have left sitting in my mental wastebasket. Sure, itís a dirty job, but I donít believe Iíll do it for you. Think about where you toss it next time.

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