Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 9/30/07

Parts of Speech: The New Weapon of Choice
By, Puns McKenna
In news this morning Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad invited President Bush to visit a local Iranian university. This invitation comes just a few days after Ahmadinejad visited Columbia University here in the US. His presence drew many to the event where he spoke. Given the state of his country's government, Ahmadinejad was introduced as a cruel dictator.
One has to wonder just how the Iranian President would introduce President Bush. Would he be as brutally honest? Would he introduce Bush as the head of a wanna-be socialist country? Or would he introduce him as the head of a Constitutional Republic?

The Iranian President was in the United States, New York to be specific, to attend the United Nations General Assembly. What does it say to the world when you allow the head of a dictatorial regime to travel around your free country and visit your universities? Personally, I have to ask who fed arsenic to the American watchdog. But that's just me.

The Iranian President and some Iranian peoples have complained that he was treated unfairly. That there were "many insults" thrown at him. I wonder if the insults would have been any less painful if they were wrapped in more pleasant terms. Would they have felt better if we had used a bunch of flowery prose? Oh! Oh! I know! Lets deliver the honesty, which is all the insults were, on nice buttered rolls. That way he can call the US a friendlier place.

They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, no? Well maybe that’s the way to a dictator's heart too. We'll send him a gift to apologize. A nice box of personalized chocolates. Insults on every piece. I'd suggest a special almond flavoring to each but that may be going a bit too far. Could this be one place where the pen is indeed mightier than the sword?

Why is honesty so insulting? Is it because honesty is well… so… honest? Does it hurt to have the world know that you are oppressing your people? And just whom do the words hurt? Whatever happened to sticks and stones and all that jazz? I guess in the politico arena there is no such thing as a non-insulting insult. Personally I don't think that words are going to injure anyone. It's more the bombs, guns, cat-o-nine-tails, bastandido's, water torture, bamboo shims, barbwire, etc…

Since when did nouns, pronouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives, prepositions, interjections, and conjunctions become a dangerous weapon?

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