Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 7/31/07

Straight from the Swede

How to make Russia and USA like each other more
By, Cozmic

So the Cold War ended over a decade ago, communism fell, and yet US relations with the Russians are a bit strained. This might be because they both have more nukes to throw at one another than Our Editor in Chief has ways of torturing Grey, or because the Russians are building up their army again while the entire American army is off in either one sandbox or another sandbox. That, and because tensions only slightly died down between the world's two superpowers.
The simple solution before this becomes yet another arms race is of course to find common ground and build upon it. For instance the mutual dislike of armed religious terrorists from, say, Afghanistan. The problem being that that might bring up that the Taliban were supported by the U.S back in the day. Or how they got together and beat up Nazis. Then again, that triggered the Cold War. Maybe of how Russia is Russia, and the Soviet Union is nothing. That could work, get people a bit cheery and happy they no longer suffer under communism and instead are just poor because they used to it. Maybe they could get together and talk about how people are running into the U.S as opposed to people that are running out of Russia. Not that there have not been great things coming out of Russia, such as Tetris or vodka. And as we all know, vodka connects people.
And maybe that is how a solution could be found, and both countries becoming friends. A large party with Russian Vodka and American cheeseburgers, and lots and lots of video games. The two groups might well just stand in a corner looking at each other, but soon enough the Russians will get those cravings one gets after a few drinks and the American capitalist pig dogs will want something in exchange for burgers, and nobody really brings money along to a party, so some friendly trading with vodka will ensue, leading everyone to enjoy a nice game of trying to fill a line using many differently shaped blocks.

 Really Pathetic Productions 1997-2007
Menu Bar By Albatross