Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 2/21/07

The Dilemma of Fuzzy Dice
By, Cozmic

Fuzzy dice. They hang on your rear view mirror to show just how awesome you are. For who are those but someone truly cool having two cubes with pink fuzz and dots in their car?

No, I am not sure if I am serious about that statement or not either. While there is something inherently funny about the fuzzy dice, this is mainly because they are inherently rather un-cool. Which makes them cool. It is an age old dilemma, how un-cool does something have to get in order to get a sort of cool factor? Fuzzy dice might be the measurement of this thing, the ultimate balance if you will. Because yes, they are quite un-cool, but they are un-cool in a harmless way that says “we are fuzzy dice. We are supposed to be here in a vain attempt to look awesome”, which, somehow, makes them cool. It is quite impossible for a pair of ornaments to change the image of your car, but they can enhance it. They can turn your beat down rusty old thing, and say “yes, it is a beat down rusty old hunk of junk like the Millennium Falcon, but like the Millennium Falcon, this thing has class. Look at the dice, man, the dice!” They can show that you do not take everything the most seriously, and that, quite frankly, is cool. Not extremely cool, but cool nevertheless. Your beat down old hunk of junk is still a beat down old hunk of junk, but now it is a beat down hunk of junk (should I add those words in some more for good measure? Probably not) with a sense of self-irony, something everyone needs a bit of. Your car is now no more just that rusty thing in the parking lot, it is now that rusty thing that you make do with, and give fuzzy gifts, in order to make it at least a bit more comical and enjoyable. So go ahead, use the fuzzy dice wisely, for the fact is that used correctly, they are cool.
But bear in mind that if I see anything fancy like a Porsche 911 sporting a pair of fuzzy dice in the rear view mirror, I will liberate it from your awful hands, license or not!


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