Past Opinion Articles

Article for the week of 8/13/05

True Love: Not just for fairy tales and half the carbs of the lousy relationship.
By, Paul Mann (Editor and Weirdo)

To blave is bluff while true love is real stuff and even though it sounds corny you can find that special someone. Despite what you may be thinking, I am not into sampling fungus; other than your grocery store variety. People fall in love and people are meant to be and I’m not just saying that because I can quote the princess bride. Of course, it doesn’t hurt if your significant other digs romantics.
I’m not here to be the male Dr. Ruth and I’m sure most of my friends thank the stars. I’d also check with a certified love doctor before basing a whole relationship on my advice. I believe that there is someone for everyone and that you don’t have to give up your morals and beliefs to make this dream a reality.
I know it sounds disappointing for all those poor saps that plan their whole lives out to end up with someone well below their expectations. Why try for the best when there are plenty of tramps and he-hos to spend hours of divorce court and alimony with. Yes, I know it is shocking to suggest being happy in this great nation. Relax, I’ve not lost a reader yet, and that’s results you can’t pay for. (All donations should be sent to my paypal account.)
Let’s put this lovetricity to good use and start with the first avenue: communication. Why in God’s good name (or Dog if you’re dyslexic) should we even experience difficulties in this area? For yakkity yak’s sake, as a society we experience more avenues of word transfer than any previous time period. From cell phones, the internet, snail mail, telephones, PDA’s and vocal chords it’s amazing we know calamity at all. Why suffer this reverse psychology of hello and goodbye?
Excuse me Mr. Mann, we’re only human. Yes, yes you are you are human, so start acting like it. One of the biggest problems a relationship encounters deals with lack of communication. We would rather play with our hormonicas than find out something about each other. Instead of going for the buried treasure, talk with your beloved. Finding out this person will be yours or not saves everyone unnecessary grief. (As well as removing 30 more minutes of reality TV)
Patience adds another item that really helps blossom a good relationship. The key comes from taking things at a comfortable pace, not bounding into action like a hippy after potato chips. Of course, if you wait too long then the passion stales and the hippy heads home. Not too fast, not incredibly slow and the results will prove more rewarding.
Either way, a relationship will take time. Those that rush out of the gate will not be able to experience the good stuff to the fullest and any magic fades away. If couples wait too long then they wonder what was so great in the first place. Take your affections at a pace you can handle and let the rest develop.
Finally, you must practice dedication. Once you have found that special person then give it your all and never hold back. Instead of changing partners like channels on a satellite signal, stick with whom you are meant for. If I can focus my short attention span then hope remains for all of humanity.
I know that with dedication risk quickly follows. Yet, if we cannot take the necessary leaps of faith, then what purpose can we achieve. If man knew nothing of dedication he would still be in a cave eating raw meat. Being from Texas, that’s just unthinkable. So for BBQ and dedication, take one for the team.
When you take the appropriate avenues true love is not just an overused fairy tale reference. Communicate with your significant other and you will know the right path to take. Practice patience and in time the rewards will be so much sweeter. Be dedicated and embrace the best life has to offer. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a little loving of my own to do.