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News article for the week of 4/30/10.

Zombie Hitler Objects to Youtube Ousting
By, Grey Events

The latest Internet Meme of using Constantine Films’ “Downfall”, a film depicting Hitler’s adult diaper phase in his bunker, and dubbing over humorous lines is slowly being brought to a close by Youtube, the international timewaster videofest.
No one is entirely sure why, apparently Constantin Films has decided to exercise it’s copyright muscle to have them removed, even though they are creating massive amounts of publicity and everyone from the film’s director to the ghost of Eva Braun’s goldfish have stated that this is the bestest, funniest film since the guys on the treadmill.
Whatever the reason the video clips are being taken down as fast as they are discovered, which is almost as fast as they are being created.
A surprise objector to this is Hitler himself.
Long dead, burned, dissected, burned again, scattered and somehow dissected a third time (the Russians are rather proud of this especially considering the Rasputin incident), Adolph Hitler has somehow pulled enough of himself together in zombie form to object to the removal of the videos.
According to Zombie Hitler this is because his is a slightly different person from the monotesticular warmonger of WWII fame. As such the humorous videos were a positive boost to his reputation as people see that somewhere out there is a Hitler who doesn’t stand for war, murder and vegetarianism.
As to what Zombie Hitler does stand for no one is entirely sure, a leaked brief did mention something about hugs, kittens and building giant obsidian towers to call down the dark lords to devour humanity, however this is very close to Zombie Issac Newton and Sarah Jessica Parker’s long term goals, and as such may be a miscommunication.
Youtube is standing firm in it’s action, refusing to be cowed by simple popularity or Zombie opinion and continues it’s work.
While no one wants to openly side with Hitler, zombie or not, there are those willing to sign his online petition, even if his Tweets are being largely ignored.
Realising that being who he is represents a massive PR disaster Zombie Hitler has attempted to distance himself from the Youtube videos while promoting them.
This has led to a Youtube video of Chicken Suited Zombie Hitler giving a hysterical opinion on Jessica Simpson’s new hairstyle entirely in German accented clucks.
While not as popular as the “Downfall” videos they have stopped people thinking of Zombie Hitler in the same fashion as the traditional Hitler.
Of course, what they’re thinking now isn’t much more constructive.

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