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News article for the week of 9/30/09.

Scrapping with A Theory

One day a junk man had a dream…
By, Don Hellion

So began an old TV show about a junkman building a space ship to go to the moon to collect all the junk up there and bring it back and sell it.

There might be another space race starting now… Only this time instead of going to the moon to collect the junk the prize is the international space station. It’s scheduled to be de-orbited sometime in 2016. Now a number of groups are looking to go up there and put it back in orbit and claim it for their own using old Maritime Law.

A lot has changed since Salvage I first aired in 1979. First computers are MUCH more powerful and readily accessible. Most laptops could work rings around the ancient mainframes that NASA used back then. Additionally the old TV show had to create a means to make a spaceship that could fly to the moon and back. Rutan has already proven that a civilian space manned spacecraft can be built that works. They already did it with SpaceShipOne and are already working on a successor. Several other groups are now building spacecraft that use a similar format.

With improved technology taking over the ISS is now financially viable. Several companies are now engaged in a race to get there first.

North Star Salvage in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula is one of the contenders. They are using winged craft using the same basic principle as the Rutan craft the Launch Vehicle is a much Modified Boeing 707-320 The 15,800 lb. Thrust Pratt & Whitney JT4-A3 turbo-jets being replaced by 28,660 lb. Thrust Soloviev D-15 by-pass turbojets salvaged from old Russian Myasisshichev M-4 bombers That has been christened “Mother” The space craft is a smaller version of NASA’s space shuttles. That has been Christened “Baby”. Mother carries Baby on a framework similar to the one mounted on the Boeing 747 used to transport NASA’s space shuttles when they land at a field away from the Kennedy Space Center.

In an effort to reduce weight so that enough fuel the North Star Salvage team is using Children as crew. Eight year old Susan Garibaldi is the pilot and seven year old Julius Mahoney is the mission specialist At a weight of fifty and sixty pounds respectively Susan and Julius combined weigh less than an adult. They also need less food and water reducing the non-payload weight further.

“I really want to go into space.” Susan gushed. “All the kids in my school think it sounds so awesome.”

North Star planes to use the space station to process burnt out satellite and other space junk into a more compact form so more can be brought back to earth per trip.

Another group based in Japan using Chicom and North Korean rockets are using a more conventional system to launch their team into space. Their plan is to turn the ISS into an orbiting studio for making Sex videos in Zero-G. The idea is that things can be done in the absence of gravity that cannot be done on earth opening a whole new set of sexual activities. They are also thinking of renting rooms on the station to rich people to use for zero-G orgies.

One thing that they point out is that since they are in space no laws on earth apply to them so they are free to do whatever they want up there.

The Most memorable vacations….

By Puns Mckenna

…are depressing and miserable. Recent studies show that 25-35% of people who go on vacation do so to get away from their boring miserable lives. These are the people that get away from it all but carry it with them like baggage. Of the 100 families surveyed on a regional cruise ship vacation, an astounding 42% disclosed that they were having a "bummer of a time". Many believe that this is due to the every day stresses of life continually nagging at the weary traveler. And while these assumptions are correct, they don't paint the whole picture.

Today's family spends on average between $500 and $10,000 dollars on their vacation. The more conservative spenders, obviously spending the lower amount. Now, let us look at where that money comes from. Some save it away like squirrels, while others take out loans. Either way, the person(s) vacationing have to worry about a budget, spending habits, transportation costs, meals, lodging. Everyday worries that everyone has every day.

The people that save the money are more likely to enjoy the majority of their vacations, but not all, while people who take out loans are less likely to enjoy any of their vacation. And with a triple to quintuple digit number hanging over their heads in the form of debt, who can blame them, right? Wrong! People all over the world, from every walk of life proceed to partake in this particular recreational habit at least once or twice a year. They do so willingly, regardless of Tyrannosaurus Debt hanging over them the entire time and months down the road. People actually trend toward more extravagant vacations.

According to another recent study, money (aka. Debt) isn't the only reason why people have miserable vacations. Romantic mishaps, marital blow-ups, and overly dramatic instances of intrigue and/or mayhem seem to be among the highest averaging reasons. Yet, despite the high risk, people still inflict these things on themselves and the others around them.

The number one vacation is a cruise around the Caribbean, which is fraught with the dangers of scantily clad men and women. Vacationing in the South of France is also quite popular, but is also fraught with the same dangers. Strictly speaking, the trends of nearly nude people (those you want to see and those you don't) in the world's vacation spots is not all that uncommon. People go out with the intent of having a peaceful vacation, but they never do.

Fights, broken marriages, intrigues, and indiscretions are common place in vacations of the twenty-first century. So common in fact that the average vacationer doesn't even notice the danger signs. Subtlety is the mantle of this hidden disaster waiting to happen. Yet strangely enough people keep asking for the same large helpings of disaster, mayhem, heartache, and headache on their vacations.

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